Lain Iwakura Iconz !! For​ @ghostclout​ ^_< -☆

i love you autistics who can't control their volume . i love you autistics who struggled with/never understood "inside voice" . i love you autistics that yell to communicate their wants and needs . i love you autistics that stim loudly . i love you autistics who make noise .

we are loved . we deserve to be heard and accommodated for .

🌊 | source

I feel like life was very black and white as a kid. There were straightforward rules everywhere; posted signs and adults telling us to do this, don't do that, say this, respond this way in this situation. But the older i get the grayer life gets. Situations are complex and have good and bad mixed. Right and wrong is subjective. No one taught me how to live in between points on a spectrum.

I’ve experienced two bereavements in a very short period of time. My (undiagnosed) autism is making this trauma even more difficult. I feel physically ill all the time, I can’t do anything but at the same time I can’t process anything. I have barely cried and don’t even feel like this is real, or that it’s even me experiencing this. It doesn’t help that my family don’t accept me being autistic, so when I try to explain that I’m overwhelmed, anxious and experiencing sensory overload more, they just ignore that there’s even anything for me to be upset about. I just don’t know what to do.

I am really sorry you're experiencing grief so close together.

It is well known that Autistics experience grief very differently to neurotypicals. We process it far slower, experience far more inner turmoil with less ability to express it, and this can lead to a long-term burnout/shutdown relationship, where we're more sensitive to sensory input but instead of meltdowns we are trapped in our grief.

I don't know how to get your family to accept your autism, but the fact that grief is experienced differently by everyone should be enough for their compassion. It's cruel that they don't recognise that for you.

THINKING PERSON'S GUIDE TO AUTISM

Autistic Grief Is Not Like Neurotypical Grief — THINKING PERSON'S GUIDE TO AUTISM

You see, every brain only has so much space in which to process information, and if a very large part of that is consumed with emotions, it

SERIAL EXPERIMENTS LAIN ‘シリアルエクスペリメンツレイン’

"Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you."

Sorry, I can't even look TV characters in the eye. You're definitely not getting a free pass just because you're live.