I Just Want To Be Soft

breakfast? what’s that?

( this is a joke, i had two cookies and a dr pepper for breakfast. )

i want to be yours, for you to know who's heart you have been given in a gift wrap box, love letter attached. i still cant bring myself to sign the note metaphorical so i leave a trail of bread crumbs in hopes you notice who i really am, that you wont be able to ignore the similarities and i will have never had to sign the note. its cowardly i know.. but its better then nothing.. -⛓

how sweet, dear. perhaps i might have a clue..

im so scared theyll all leave me

i am very much the kind of person to constantly have emojicombos dot com open in a tab it makes it so effortless to build themed things -⛓

oh, absolutely!

i have a note in my notes app full of copy-paste symbols.

do I really need to destroy myself in order to get affection?

i wonder where the “x” anon is…

the swirl of reddish pink down the drain makes me reminisce on my better days.

it was so much easier when we all wore jumpsuits on the tulpar.

i’m going to burn in hell. and i’ll take nothing but the sweet memories of you with me.

Everyone can, but does that mean everyone should? Do I really deserve to know what that feels like? I so desperately want to be loved and cared for, but Im a spineless burden. Spineless burdens dont get to be loved.. Especially not ones so damaged that they arent trusted to be able to keep them selves safe..

-⛓

now, don’t talk like that.

you are not a spineless burden. and you are worthy of love.

i’m sensing that you’ve gone through it. and that’s okay. you will heal. i promise.

a sorrowful source memory…? [tw]

i distinctly remember the aftermath of a particularly rough argument.

he accused me of never caring, of planning to leave. the jimmy i knew was quick to emotion, in every sense of the word: he was quick to fall in love as he was quick to anger. as this argument progressed, our voices were raised higher and higher. it got to the point where my own throat was sore, just from trying to be heard over his frantic yelling. once the end of the argument came about, we both took off to different rooms of the apartment we were sharing at the time. the apartment wasn’t anything too special, just somewhere we could crash when we weren’t doing shipments. he ended up in his (our shared) bedroom, and i ended up pacing the kitchen. about an hour later, he sulked out from the bedroom, and came to me in the kitchen. about 30 minutes into the wait, i decided that food could be a good peace offering, so i was cooking. nothing too extreme, just eggs, as we didn’t have much else in the apartment. i could hear him creep up behind me, wrapping his arms around my middle and laying his forehead on the back of my shoulder.

it was those tender moments that reminded me why i stuck around, why i adore/d him, why i was the sole devotee.

you mean so much to me, im glad i get to have this even if im still too anxious to reveal myself just yet. i assure you there are clues and its quite possible other anons already figured me out, but thats ok. if you figure me out im ok with you reaching out first, i adore you, and everything you do. maybe one day i can truly be yours, you might even be the one to build up my confidence. <3 -⛓

how sweet, anon. how sweet.

/gen.