In Fifth Grade A Boy Tried To Impress Me By Swallowing A Whole Tadpole Live And I Punched Him So Hard

I'm finished with art for the semester soooo here's what I've been workin on! All assets are my own. I used a DSLR camera along with Photoshop and Clip Studio Paint

Feel free to send asks about the unaltered photos/photo locations, cause some of the original signs were pretty interesting tbh

real adult™ tip from a real adult™ with executive dysfunction

do stuff while waiting for other stuff

like that sounds intuitive and vague but so much of the day is spent in a period of wait and if you struggle to motivate yourself to do things then this is the best time

waiting for your water to boil? bag up your garbage. waiting for your coffee to drip? wipe down your counters. roommate taking up the bathroom? scoop the cat box. waiting for your food to cook in the microwave? do however many dishes you can while it’s in there. 

waiting is the perfect time to do a limited amount of something for yourself where you would be otherwise just standing around doing fuck-all

i’m a real wizard btw

Leave me fucked up dad/son shit or questions in my asks!!! I’m horny and need to answer stuff or I’ll go wild!!

Literally just need a dad to abuse me right now then give me a nice shower and tell me what a good son I am when he’s all done breaking me.

The basics of care for Catholic Priests

(this probably won't read as horny to anyone who isn't into a very specific kind of casual degradation and objectification ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Most people are familiar with Priests as collectively church-owned working class pets, but they can make wonderful single-owner pets as well! Here you'll find some of the basics of caring for these unique creatures.

Appearance

Priests are usually known for having black coats, with high contrast white markings around their necks known as a "collar." A few different morphs do exist however! Mostly these consist of small markings in either gold, red, or a liturgical color, but one morph includes a bright red coat known as a "cardinal."

Curiously, both young and very old priests tend towards white coats. The priest pups are referred to as "seminarians," and they grow in dark coloration as they get older. Very old priests slowly get lighter with age, eventually ending up with white coats. Priests from tropical environments may also have white coats at any age!

A healthy priest's markings, especially the collar, should be in high contrast with a deep, saturated black coat. Dull, or desaturated colors can be a sign of chronic stress or illness. No need to panic however, sometimes it is as simple a fix as a vitamin supplement at meal times. You should consult a vet to find out.

Diet

Communion wafers of course! But mostly as treats, priests love them but they have surprisingly little nutritional value. All forms of bread or crackers are acceptable (though your milage may vary with a picky eater) and any kind of grapes. Many enjoy other fruits as well. Priests are capable of eating meat, especially fish for lent, but often prefer it only for special occasions. They often will refuse large meals entirely during lent, which can be concerning for beginner owners, but this is normal behavior. Try breaking it up into snacks throughout the day if you're concerned about your priest not eating enough. Often times pets will lose track of how many snacks they've had and eat regularly.

Priests need access to fresh holy water. Contrary to popular belief, it is easily made at home, although some picky pets may prefer the kind found in churches. Priests are capable of injesting weak alcohol like wine with no problems, anything higher than around 20% may cause some illnesses over time. Wine is actually an important enrichment treat for them, in the same vein as wafers, it allows them to follow their natural behaviors.

Housing

Anything that mimics it's natural habitat works, luckily churches come in a variety of ways! Priests are safe to allow full range of you home but having a dedicated room or partitioned space specifically designed for them is very rewarding for both you and your pet. Stone and wood facades are preferred, as are stained glass coverings over windows. Have an altar space available for your pet, and allow them to maintain it themselves. Priests naturally like to maintain an altar and their church space. Provide clean cloth in both white and the appropriate liturgical color. Real altar sets can be expensive, but any kind of durable cups and plates will work. Your pet may prefer different materials, but typically wood, pewter, or brass is used. Observe the decorations in churches and add as much as you'd like! It is not recommended to use real candles without supervision, you may provide them while someone is home and switch to battery powered lights while away.

Behavior

Priests are surprisingly intelligent, being a working breed means that they take well to structure and training. Priests have a wide range in personalities, but tend to be reserved, neat, and polite, especially around strangers. They tend to be early risers, but some can be persuaded to sleep in and begin their rituals later in the day. Priests love a structured routine, and will often become upset by interruptions that don't allow for them to perform their usual rituals. Typically they will play act at least one “mass” a day, and love to see their owners participate. They will also frequently “pray”, making repeated vocalizations and playing with beads (be sure to provide some!)

They may also exhibit a few behaviors that might greatly concern new owners. “Guilty” behaviors are normal and common for priests, and may include increased “prayer” both in frequency or intensity, skipping large meals, or putting themselves in uncomfortable situations. Some priests may also self-flagellate, but this too is normal as long as it does not cause lasting harm. Excessive “guilty” behavior may indicate a stressful environment, so look out for potential causes like broken altar pieces, missing communion wafers, or even engaging in too much “sin”. Your pet will have a strong sense of morality, and will certainly let you know about it! Priests often have strict internal rules, but they will frequently accept new ones from their owner with training. You may have to correct your pet's internal rules if they have deemed something you normally do as “sinful”. Luckily they respond well to firm training and positive reinforcement.

These little guys are extremely unique pets, and make a great addition to the home for owners willing to put in the time for them! Please do further research and consider if owning a Catholic Priest is right for you.

in these dark times all i can say is thank god for online attention from perverts

DO YOU- NGHHGHGGGDF- PUTTY. PITTY. NIDISXUXUUDDUDU- HES NOT CATHOLIC BUT HE MIGHT AS WELL BE-

A priest jerking themself off feverishly while suckling and mouthing their crucifix. Clutching the rosary around their neck and begging for God to save them, which soon turns into begging for God to let them cum…

reblog to have a dream about your f/o tonight!

it'll be whatever kind of dream you want! cute, violent, toxic, fluffy, et cetera!

Our Lover (Ao3) is away at war (down for maintenance) and We don't know when they'll return (it's scheduled for about 3 hours)