Almost. It’s A Big Word For Me. I Feel It Everywhere. Almost Home. Almost Happy. Almost Changed. Almost,
Almost. It’s a big word for me. I feel it everywhere. Almost home. Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite. not yet. Soon, maybe.
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"She thought about it the other night. How you pushed her boundaries and tested her senses. She thought of how she got lost in you. And you in her. She thought about how often you called her 'beautiful' in between breaths, whimpers, and moans. She thought about how you made her body rise and fall like Roman ruins.
She thought about how you come up behind her, gently move her long hair over to the other side so you can kiss her neck. And she laughs to herself remembering she told you 'you can't kiss a girl's neck and not expect the sequence of events to start', jokingly. It makes you grin as you're kissing her.
She thought about how all her sadness, pain, and anxiety disappears when she's with you. And only with you. You awaken another side of what not many have seen, and only a few dabbed into. But with you, oh with you, she gives all of her. And you cherish that.
She thought about how you know her body more than anyone else. She thought about how she feels so complete when she's with you, and feels like something is missing when she's not. Then she thought about what you have planned for her next time, and she grins just imagining what you may come up with".
One of the hardest pills to swallow as an adult is that not everyone can afford to sacrifice.
Not everyone can drop everything all at once and go on a great venture towards the uncertain roads―just to feel something new or just to restart life. Some find it easy to risk because they still have something to return to. But what about the others? What about me? What I have now is all that I got. If I stumble, it’ll take me years to get back to my feet again.
All the steps I take are counted one by one, and I feel like I was always unlucky when it comes to finding my place in this world. I am a coward, but I am extra careful. I am hesitant, but I am always protective of what I have earned.
Maybe, making mistakes is a privilege. Everyone can move forward with questions left untouched in the morning, but for someone like me who doesn’t have lifelines, I fear the cruel answers and rejections that would come up with the sun.
All my life, I have been mending the damage of my wrong decisions. And so, I pray this time, that even if I am granted nothing else but just a mediocre life―let it be gentler. Safer. I hope I am content. I just don’t want the world to once again take me at an unfair advantage just because I don’t have enough support systems.
I have no other options but to be my own safety net.
‿ℒℴνℯ⁀💕 A͓̽b͓̽d͓̽u͓̽l͓̽l͓̽a͓̽h͓̽
I hope you find someone who will understand your past traumas and give you constant reassurance that you're now trusting the right person. I hope you find someone who understand that you are not perfect but will never make you feel not enough. I hope you find a kind-hearted person. Someone who will speak kind words to you and will always respect you no matter what the situation is. I hope you find someone who knows exactly how to treat you right. Someone who will love you genuinely and will care for you like he's afraid to lose you.
I hope you find someone who can love you selflessly because not every one can love that way. Not every one is willing to sacrifice everything he has just to see you happy and not every one is willing to love you with everything he has. I hope you find a love that allows you to be happy and to be at peace because you deserve it after how many times of settling for less than what you deserve. And most importantly, I hope you find someone who will never give up on you and will never treat you poorly.
#Abdullah
A story doesn't exist unless it's Told.
Always keep that little place inside of you
where the magic of love grows, alive.
Do you know how there are moments when the world moves so slowly you can feel your bones shifting, your mind tumbling? When you think that no matter what happens to you for the rest of your life, you will remember every last detail of that one minute forever?
𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗗𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗛𝘂𝗿𝘁.
Love is supposed to feel like home, a place where you’re safe, valued, and understood. But sometimes, love comes in a form that breaks you instead of building you. It can make you question everything: your worth, your choices, even your ability to be loved.
Maybe you've experienced that kind of love. The kind that made you beg for attention, for affection, for the smallest proof that you mattered to them. The kind of love that made you feel like you were too much and never enough at the same time.
It’s lonely, isn’t it? To give so much of yourself and feel like it’s never truly returned. To stay awake at night, overthinking their actions, wondering if you’re the problem when all you ever wanted was to be loved right.
If love ever finds me again, I hope it’s not like that. I hope it’s from someone who makes me feel whole, not someone who leaves me doubting my value. I hope it’s with someone who loves me for who I am, not who they want me to be. Someone who doesn’t make me feel stupid for trying, for caring too much, or for giving my all.
Love shouldn’t be this hard. It shouldn’t hurt this much. I don’t want a love that feels like a lesson. I want a love that feels like peace. If that’s too much to ask, maybe I’d rather wait, lonely but whole, than settle for another love that breaks me.
Because I’ve learned one thing: the love we deserve doesn’t make us beg for it. It just stays. It just feels right.
Abdullah.
A story doesn't exist unless it's Told.
It's only because of their stupidity that they're able to be so sure of themselves.
"Perhaps, somewhere, someday, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again" - Abdullah.
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