What Do We Live For, If It Is Not To Make Life Less Difficult For Each Other?

Small talk is varying degrees of enjoyable to terribly draining depending on the person it’s with. People that like to hear their own voices but, also want to be certain they have your attention are the most tiring I find.

Okay, so you’ve been called smart all your life. As a kid, you were one of the smartest in your class. Maybe you could read at a much higher level than your peers, or you could fly through multiplication drills like they were nothing. Then, you get to high school and suddenly you’re surrounded by lots of people who were ‘gifted kids’. None of what made you ‘special’ seems all that important now. Your work is actually challenging, and it’s actually requiring effort.

If you’re experiencing this, just know that so many students have gone through the same thing. Maybe it happens in high school, maybe college. But a lot of us who were considered gifted as kids suddenly run into this and it challenges our entire identity. It can be paralyzing, but it’s 100% possible to overcome it and succeed! I’ve compiled a few tips for ex-gifted kids dealing with impostor syndrome and self-doubt. I’m not a therapist, psychologist, or any sort of education expert. I’m just speaking to my own experiences, and I welcome any input from others who have insight into this as well!

1. Understand that working hard does not mean you aren’t intelligent. If something doesn’t come naturally to you, that’s not a reason to give up. Believing that people can do things “just because they were born with a talent for it” is only going to hurt you. It’s not true! People may have natural aptitudes for things, but hard work is involved even for the smartest or most talented people. You are capable of learning anything, and you don’t have to be “good at it” right away to do so.

2. Comparison will kill you. You are your only competition. Focusing on how you rank with other students, and comparing yourself to your classmates is going to exhaust you. By focusing on others, you can’t put your full energy into focusing on your work and yourself. You belong. Even if you struggle with your work, you belong. Focus on your own self-improvement and doing your best.

3. Don’t focus on the goal, focus on your current actions. If you’re always thinking about the future, and about whether you’ll get into that school or that program or win that award or get that scholarship, you’re not using that time to get work done. Don’t worry about college applications, just do your homework. Focus on what you are doing now to reach your goals so you can apply to schools with confidence later.

4. Your grades may not reflect intelligence, but they do reflect work ethic. Don’t let others convince you that grades mean nothing. They sure as hell mean a lot to colleges, and thinking that you should “reject the current education system” is not going to harm anyone but yourself. If you don’t feel like you’re learning anything in your high school classes, that’s all the more reason to want to get into a university that will challenge you. If you put effort into your work, it will not let you down. Your hard work will be reflected on your transcript. Don’t lose focus.

5. Talk to someone. Let people know if you’re struggling. It can be hard to feel like you aren’t allowed to identify as “smart” or to feel pressure to constantly compete and improve. I went to a highly competitive high school that pushed kids to cope in dangerous ways. This is not healthy and not okay. If you’re feeling overwhelmed you need to find healthy coping mechanisms. Speak with someone you trust and don’t let yourself spiral. Don’t try to self medicate. Your well being is always more important than your grades. Period.

6. Enjoy yourself. School may seem like hell, and you may feel like it will never end and you’ll always be stressed and worried. But high school is only four years, and you can do things during that time that you probably won’t ever again. Take advantage of things that seem fun, even if people think they’re nerdy or weird. Try and remind yourself that you’re lucky to have your education and you have the power to do great things with it. Don’t lose sight of your own ability and your bright future!

The key to being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most out of everyday.

Unknown (via tamaresc)

Dating as an Ace

Talking to people in person is terrifying because I know once I come out to them they’ll lose all interest/think I’m a freak.

Trying to use dating apps is a waste because most of them are for one night stands or casual sex, not relationships.

Meeting people at work sucks because even if they’re really cute, I can’t make any approaches past “how can I help”, which gets me ignored 90% of the time anyway.

Not even my college pride group is useful because when I told them I was Ace, the club president went “is that real?” That broke my heart.

And finally I have online meetings that lead to LDRs. I’ve been in a LDR and it was the happiest I’ve ever been, but when she left I felt empty because a person I’ve never met took so much from me.

Nothing works, and it’s so depressing.

Anyone else relate to these ace moods?

1) thinking you just have really high standards

2) thinking you have a very specific type which you haven’t found yet

3) thinking other people are joking

4) not realizing the song was about sex

5) thinking movies and tv are over dramatizing it

6) thinking movie and tv is accurate but like how???

7) not knowing which one it is

8) wondering when you’ll turn out to be gay

“They kept trying to pull down my trousers…”

Tom Holland’s chair breaking + the story of how he broke his nose

Echolalia or a vocal stim?

Did you hear it, and unintentionally repeat it? Or rather, did hear it and get an urge so intense you had to repeat it? You are experiencing echolalia.

Do you say it because it feels good in your mouth, or you find it soothing/comforting/satisfying to say? You are experiencing a vocal stim.

Feel free to add on!

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

I get a lot of DMs asking me “How do I know if I have ADHD?” and the short and boring answer is “you can’t unless you talk to a doctor”.

But I want to share what I think should have been obvious clues to me!

I think it’s hard to judge your own symptoms if all you’ve known your entire life was ADHD. I was convinced I had no problems and just had to stop being lazy and all my problems would go away.

So, to everyone asking themselves “what if I’m just lazy?”, I hope you can find the courage from this to seek a diagnosis! And if you can’t:

Your struggles are legit and real, if they have a name or not.

Mr. Shark

“Peter is a child.” Tony hisses into the phone. He’s keeping one eye on the kid from where he is standing, not hiding just standing, around the corner.

“He’s normally a child Tony, what’s your point?” Rhodey asks, Tony can hear him yawning over the line.

“Yes, he’s normally like 14 though not 4.” Tony is definitely not screeching in distress. “Normally he is my height, not this tiny thing.”

“What?” Rhodey asks, and he sounds more awake now.

“I don’t know, Friday says it’s Peter, but he’s like 2.” Tony peeks out to see Peter trying to pull himself onto the couch, he gets a wave and a gap-toothed grin.

“I thought he was 4.” Rhodey points out, and it sounds like he’s laughing at Tony.

“I don’t know what age he is, he’s small Rhodey. I need help, please come help me with the spider kid.” He pleads, waving back at Peter. Peter starts to toddle towards him.

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning.” Rhodey grumbles, and the dial tone sounds in his ear. Tony’s eyes are wide with fear when Peter bumps into his leg.

“Tomorrow morning?” His voice is little more than a squeak.

“That is what he said boss.” Friday replies, she sounds smug.

“Okay, hi Peter.” Tony greets crouching down next to the kid. “I’m Tony Stark.” He holds out his hand to the little guy.

“Hi!” Peter shouts, grabbing onto his hands. “I like your bobots.” He holds out his arms in the normal kid gesture for pick me up, and Tony does, hefting the kid onto his hip.

“Really, which of my robots is your favorite?” He asks, bouncing a little. Peter squeals excitedly.

“I like the nice wall lady, and the dumb rolly robot, but my favorite is suit lady.” He informs Tony, nodding excitedly. “She’s nice.” Tony laughs.

“She is, isn’t she? You know I think you are her favorite human too.” He pokes Peter’s nose for emphasis. Peter giggles, grabbing onto his glasses with one hand, and yanking them off his face. “Ow.” Tony winces, and the glasses snap in half, apparently the little spider still has some super strength.

“Oh no.” His eye’s go wide and glossy and he looks up at Tony. “Please no mad. I didn’t mean to Mr. Shark.” Tony is trying very hard not to look like he wants to cry. “Please don’t leave.” Peter sniffles.

“I’m not leaving Peter, I’m right here. The glasses are dumb anyways.” He takes what’s left of them from Peter and drops them in the garbage. “See all gone.”

“No gone. I broke the boat and you were gone, no leaving now.” Peter insists, clutching at Tony’s shirt. Tony drops onto the couch, he needs to look put together for the kid, but his heart feels like it’s breaking in his chest. He gave Peter abandonment issues. He was trying to break the cycle, and he failed. Gesturing with his left arm for Dum-E to come over, he tries to soothe the kid.

“I’m so sorry Peter. I shouldn’t have left you then, and I won’t leave you now. I promise.” He pats Peter’s pack in an attempt to be comforting. Dum-E rolls over, blanket clutched in his claw.

“Pinky promise?” Peter asks, holding up his pinky.

“Pinky promise.” Tony links his pinky with Peter’s just as Dum-E drops a blanket onto both of their heads. “Thanks Dum-E.” Tony grumbles, it makes Peter giggle so Tony will consider it a success.

“You’re not mad?” Peter asks.

“Nah those glasses were dumb anyways. I’m much prettier without them.” Tony informs him. Peter reaches out, grubby fingers poking at Tony’s cheeks.

“Your eye is dark under. Aunt May says it’s a bag but that doesn’t make any sense.” Peter informs him. “You put things in bags.” He informs Tony.

“I do not have bags under my eyes.” Tony insists. Peter looks as unconvinced as a four-year-old can. “I get a healthy amount of sleep.”

“Mr. Shark, you don’t sleep, ever.” Peter points out, and Tony doesn’t really have an argument, and he doesn’t really want to correct Peter’s pronunciation of Stark, so it’s time to change the topic.

“Friday, how long until Rhodey gets here?”  He asks.

“Based on his flight plan, he should arrive at the building in approximately 10 hours.”  Friday replies. Tony tries not to look absolutely horrified.

“I’m going to die.” He whispers, Peter pats his cheek comfortingly.

“Don’t worry Mr. Shark, I protect you.” Peter assures him, it’s the cutest thing Tony has ever seen and he’s going to wrap this kid in bubble wrap and never let him outside into the dangerous world ever again.