You Are A Supervillain With The Power Of Giving Life. You Wish To Conquer The World. Only Two Problems

Friend has the sad???!!??!!!!!

I’m coming friend I’ll save you from the sad!!

I am here now you’re going to be okay!!!

You are so beautiful and i love you!!!

Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close….. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But, it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. Every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say, “Tell me something that makes you cry.” or “What do you think deja vu is for?” …..Find the others

Timothy Leary (via infj-misc)

“Sleep on it” is advice I don’t like because it feels too passive (you mean, do nothing???) but is often very important to do.

I got my heart broken and I survived, I failed 3 courses in university and graduated, I got rejected in the very first job I applied for and got promoted yesterday, I went through hard times with my family but then two years later, we laughed our hearts out over lunch, The closest friends disappointed me several times but I made new friends and loved them with all my heart. I did it once, I can do it again.

Who has not asked himself at some time or other: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?

Clarice Lispector (via remnantsofapoet)

I took my meds too close to bedtime again and I need you all to know the dream I had last night involved Robin Williams becoming the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Not, a character portrayed by Robin Williams, just Robin Williams as himself running around Hogwarts doing wandless magic and being as loud and big as possible because and I quote before I forget:

“Listen, children, I’m not saying all this bad shit that is happening isn’t scary and you shouldn’t be concerned–because you should!–but I’m telling you this now for free. Life is a boggart, it’s the biggest boggart of them all. You never know what it’s going to look like one moment to the next. And sometimes you just gotta laugh. It’s okay to laugh. It’s part of the grieving process. You need to grieve before you can heal. But it’s okay to laugh while you’re doing it.”

I didn’t wake up right after that, some more stuff happened in a hazy sort of way as the dream began to dissolve into conciousness, but I remember him yelling Expecto Patronum as he punched a Death Eater in the face. Because sometimes, evidently, you have to make your own happy memories.

I find that playboy line funny bc like... aren't tony and pepper the only mcu couple that has been in a long term committed relationship? and beyond the thing with maya (which happened in a flashback), tony hasn't had any other love interests? that line would have been relevant, what, in the first 20 minutes of iron man 1? (not trying to bring up discourse or hate or anything, I just find it interesting lol)

That playboy line follows him like a shadow when it’s not even an accurate reflection of who he is, it’s one of those things when it gets stuck in the default setting of people’s mind that Tony Stark is a ‘playboy’, and it takes them effort to remember that he is not. The fact is that he’s been everything BUT a playboy in the last ten years, and seriously you can’t name one more committed, loyal and romantic man in mcu than Tony Stark, but some people would simply let that vague idea of who he is stay, based on a quippy one liner from a movie that was seven years ago (also ignoring the context of that one liner), than to let themselves see and realise that a character has changed and developed …. It’s sadly poetic he had said it himself in a deleted scene of Iron Man, when he was confessing to the two girls he was with in Dubai that he was actually not entirely comfortable with it, and proceed to say “You know how easy to get a reputation and how hard to lose it, and I’m not playing victim, I’m not complaining, it’s just something that occurred over time..”

He was the one who played up that ‘Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist’ persona after all, so of course he knew the price, that it was inevitable some people wouldn’t see through it and took everything he presented at face value. And part of him found ease in slipping behind that mask, because then people wouldn’t know he’s scared, vulnerable and insecure, and they couldn’t be disappointed with him when he offered nothing more for them to expect. In IM 2 he embraced the persona fully and acted his most obnoxious self to annoy everyone around him and push them away, because he didn’t want to admit to his friends that he was scared, that he didn’t want to die; because (an irrational) part of him was scared that even if he opened up to them they wouldn’t care, so he opted to toughen up and push them away first and avoid getting hurt later. The similar train of thoughts was happening In Avengers when he used the mask as his defensive mechanism, and it was what gave birth to that infamous one liner. He needed to act cool and nonchalant in front of all these new super people, because how could he possibly measure up to Captain America himself with his ‘laundry list of character defects.’ He was afraid of how they wouldn’t accept him as part of the team as previously Nat’s assessment of him had suggested, and judged him by his past as Steve had put it later ‘I’ve seen the footage, the only thing you really fight for is yourself.’ So at least acting like he was so self-absorbed and savvy that he didn’t care one bit of what others thought of him could protect him from letting the others know about his vulnerability and insecurity. 

The lovely thing is though, as movies progress, you see how this mask is slowly slipping away, when he said in IM3 ‘Now I’m a changed man’, he wasn’t just saying it, he really had changed. Being in a committed relationship with Pepper had helped him to realise that he could voice his fear and be vulnerable, as he found acceptance in her; being forced out of his comfort zone of three (3) friends and an AI, he developed an unlikely friendship with a kid, it opened up his guarded heart, he learned his capability to trust other people, reply on them, and that reaching out, asking for help, whether or not it was a sign of weakness, he had allowed himself it. Thus you start to see a more genuine and vulnerable Tony Stark in the presence of others way more often after IM3. In AoU he admit to the team of what he was scared of, he opened up to Fury about the vision he saw, the nightmare he dreaded. In Civil War, he opened up to Steve of his weaknesses, his flaws, and was practically begging him to stay, ‘I don’t wanna see you gone, we need you Cap’; to give him time (which tragically was what Steve didn’t have), so they can deal with the Accords together. He had allowed himself to be rejected, and still trying to reach out, ‘because it’s us.’ He cared a lot about the Avengers and he no longer tried to hide it behind the ‘Genius playboy devil may care’ facade, he may not be verbally spelling it out, but he let his fear, worries, guilt, sadness, be written all over his face. It’s peak Tony Stark being vulnerable and emotional and not bothered to hide, this side of him with all the emotional complexity is available for anyone who’s looking to see, and it’s amazing.

The relationship he developed with Peter took him to an unexplored area of emotions, it was the first time he felt strongly and personally responsible for someone else’s wellbeing. He may have learned to take better care of himself over the years, but having a kid who was already hundred times better than him and still looked up to him? It created a lot of internal conflicts in his mind. On one hand he wanted to provide the best he can for Peter (while not overstepping), the extremely thoughtful suit he built for him with an insane amount of web shooters combinations and a friendly sassy AI is one perfect example; on the other hand he was afraid that his involvement would ruin Peter’s life. His self doubt and guilt were stalling him from being open and emotional available for Peter, which, compare to the super suit, it was what Peter needed from him more. His relationship with his own father had not given him the confidence he needed when it came to something close to parenting, so he did what he always tended to do when he was feeling insecure, he put on the cool Tony StarkTM mask and tried to keep Peter at arm’s length by putting up a barrier (Happy) between them. He wasn’t mentally ready to take on the mentor/father figure role, but sentimentally, looking at all those things he did for Peter in silence, he was already caring and worrying about Peter like a parent would to their child. He just needed to learn to show it to Peter, drop the mask, be present, be vocal, because if Peter couldn’t feel it, love failed in communication and it wouldn’t be complete. And over the course of the Homecoming and IW, you really see how he had come to it, seeing how they squabbled and Peter was no longer looking up to him like he was an idol, but simply looking up to him for reassurance and comfort, it is so (tragically) beautiful and had everyone crying. 

Don’t ask me why I turn a simple line ‘Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist’ into a character analysis, it just happened, but he’s come so far and I’m so proud of him and it just goes without saying how beautiful how complex his character is and people who still misunderstand him by default, they’re missing out. 

an incomplete list of unsettling short stories I read in textbooks

the scarlet ibis

marigolds

the diamond necklace

the monkey’s paw

the open boat

the lady and the tiger

the minister’s black veil

an occurrence at owl creek bridge

a rose for emily

(I found that one by googling “short story corpse in the house,” first result)

the cask of amontillado

the yellow wallpaper

the most dangerous game

a good man is hard to find

some are well-known, some obscure, some I enjoy as an adult, all made me uncomfortable between the ages of 11-15

add your own weird shit, I wanna be literary and disturbed