I Got My Heart Broken And I Survived, I Failed 3 Courses In University And Graduated, I Got Rejected

On being a “gifted” kid and what to do with that once you’ve grown up

There’s a post going around that I can’t find again for the life of me that talks about how much it sucks to have been a “gifted” kid, because when you’re an adult reading levels don’t matter and you missed out on all the social knowledge your peers were getting. As someone whose lowest grade in all of high school was a B+ (which I will never, ever forgive that gorram art teacher for) and sobbed brokenly when I was kicked out of the National Junior Honor Society because of a citizenship grade (he didn’t like that my family went on vacation) believe me when I say I understand that feeling completely. 

But there’s something none of your teachers ever told you.

See, we’ve all figured out by this point that being “gifted” is a load of crock. For years people led us to believe that it was simply a quality of who we were, like the color of our hair or the things we’re allergic to, and that it would just magically always be there and help us be better at things that require “book” smarts. Then we were dumped into the real world, and we all sort of assumed that we’d hit the end of “gifted” and now we’re screwed. 

The thing, is, though, every single teacher you’ve ever had explained it wrong.

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I'd probably think I was a bitch lol

Found this gem in an article

Everyone has the name of their supposed soulmate printed on the inside of your wrist. You, however, are defiant, and begin dating someone that’s not your soulmate. It turns out that not meeting someone with the magic expectation that you’re ‘meant to be for each other and will get married and live happily ever after’ actually made you two get along pretty well, and you’re now deeply in love with them. However, after several years of dating this person, both your and your S.O.’s real ‘soulmates’ find you, and they’re both furious that you didn’t wait for them.

Anxiety: The Ultimate Survival Guide For Dummies

Anxiety that feeling we are all too familiar with. It can either make you or break you! A lot of us go through life struggling with it. It makes us go crazy at times. We start to sweat, breathe hard, we experience chest and stomach pain and that’s not including the constant intrusive thoughts. But enough is enough, if you are tired of living with anxiety then this article is for you. Here I will explain what exactly anxiety is and how to manage it. It’s the ultimate survival guide.

https://www.psych2go.net/anxiety-ultimate-survival-guide/

Ni-doms and Disembodiment

I’ve read once that disembodiment is an ni-dom thing. They don’t feel connected to their bodies in the sense that a normal person would. It’s rather interesting how such a thing developed extremely early within me. From the time I was in kindergarten, I remember standing in front of the mirror at home just… staring at myself. The body didn’t feel like mine. And no, I don’t mean this in a dysphoric way. It felt as if I were a bodiless… thing inhabiting a robotic body. Yes, the body was mine, but how was it mine? If I closed my eyes and concentrated hard enough, could I become Reina? Or Kai? Or any of my other friends in kindergarten? Staring at my hands, I’d become amazed that I could move my limbs. Like really, how the hell was I doing that? It was mind-boggling.

Even now, it hasn’t changed too much. When I’m actually focusing on my body perhaps getting ready in front of a mirror, I’ll find myself staring into my own eyes once more. I’ll find myself studying every single millimeter of my own skin. And it doesn’t feel as if I’m looking at myself. It feels as if I’m looking at a human shaped container.

It’s in this sense that I think the separation between body and mind ring especially true for Ni-doms. But this is just my experience. Do any of my followers or anyone else for that matter feel something similar? I’d honestly love to know.

Mourning Tony Stark

aka that deleted scene from Endgame that made us all cry

The way Pepper bows her head, softly crying once she knows that Tony can’t hear here, knowing that the father of her daughter and he love of her life is gone, is one of the many tear-jerking moments in this scene. She’s been with Tony through the drinking, the sleeping around, the disregard for his own life, and she’s still here. Tony might finally be able to rest, but Pepper won’t.

Steve Rogers, and in my opinion, the most heartbreaking moment in this, trembles — really shakes — as he falls to his knees in a moment of weakness. The super soldier, Captain America, brought down by the loss of one of his closest friends. After all the amends he made, after finally trusting Tony again, Steve has him ripped away from him again. And he’ll always be haunted by the what ifs. When Steve came out of the ice, Tony Stark gave him a home when he needed it the most. Tony took that home away with him when he died.

Tony’s ultimate best friend, Rhodey, is so overwhelmed by grief, that even a usually stoic character can barely muster the strength to turn his head away. Peter Parker, the one of many he took under his wing, isn’t shown much in the scene, but his heartfelt crying during Tony’s death is just as painful.

Then Clint Barton kneels. He kneels for a friend, a leader, and a man he looked up to — gone, taken from them forever. A man who was part of the very first team they built together, who was endlessly loyal and never failed to make him laugh. The rest of the team — the original team — they kneel too. Thor kneels for the bravest mortal he had the honour of calling a friend. Bruce kneels for the man who taught him to love himself, who showed him the alternative to self-loathing, his “science bro” and his best friend. Somewhere out there, Natasha kneels too, for the man she so horribly misjudged all those years ago.

T’Challa, the King of Wankanda, who bows to no one, kneels too. All of Wakanda kneels. So does Carol, an all-powerful warrior, and so does Valkyrie, the queen of Asgard. Stephen Strange, who is so struck by guilt and the knowledge that there was simply no other way that he almost curls into himself. Bucky Barnes, who still holds regret for tearing Steve and Tony apart, for inadvertently causing the death of the man in front of him. Sam, Wanda, the rest of the Avengers, they kneel, they bow their heads, all for their founding father.

Nebula, who was always forced to kneel before a tyrant, now chooses to kneel because this is a man who is worth it. Peter Quill, Rocket, Drax, Mantis, the Guardians kneel for Tony because, even though they’ve just met, Tony’s heart was what struck them with the most awe.

Tony Stark touched the lives of everyone there. He truly was a man worthy of their respect, and he would live on in his legacy and in their memories.

And yes, somewhere out there, he’s with Natasha, embracing as they reminisce about all their friends, all the years they spent laughing in a big ugly building in the middle of New York, surrounded by the people they loved the most.