This Website’s Easy Watch. *dangles A Bunch Of Greek Gods Like Keys*

What does Tim say when people ask about his spleen?

Damian: I am updating my blackmail records. Tell me what happened to your spleen in its full hilarity.

Tim: I donated it to a sickly orphan.

Damian: You win this round.

———————

Tim: I have to be careful, I lost my spleen.

Carrie: How?

Tim: Aliens.

———————

Tim: I'm zero percent spleen and fifty-nine percent pizza sauce.

Helena: Zero percent spleen?

Tim: Yep. On the bright side, they named a disease after me.

———————

Luke: I've designed nanotech vitals trackers to be implanted on our spleens.

Tim: Oh, no thanks. I don't have one.

Luke: You don't have a spleen?

Tim: It wasn't paying rent so I evicted it. Lazy freeloader.

———————

Barbara: Why does your chart say you're missing a spleen?

Tim: I made a deal with the devil but I had a discount code so instead of my soul I just needed to sell a non-essential organ.

———————

Steph: What happened to your spleen? Are you okay?

Tim: I'm fine. It's taking an extended gap year.

———————

Harper: So... can I ask about your spleen?

Tim: Yeah, don't worry. I was part of a failed science experiment.

Cullen: What'd they do?

Tim: They injected me with a serum that was supposed to make me indestructible. But instead all I got were a spleen removal and chronic insomnia. And a free T-shirt.

Cullen:

Harper:

Cullen: Was it a nice shirt?

———————

Dick: What do you mean you don't have a spleen?!?

Tim: It was confiscated by airport security.

———————

Tim: Happy Pride! My spleen finally came out of the closet. And by closet I mean my body.

Kate: Diversity win.

———————

Tim and Jason: *arguing*

Jason: At least I still have my spleen!

Tim: It's genetic!

Jason: Sucks to be you.

Tim: We have the same dad. It could happen to you too.

Jason, scoffing: Whatever.

Jason, internally: Oh shit, he's right. I need to see Leslie.

———————

Tim and Bette: *sparring*

Bette: *hits Tim*

Tim: Ow. Time out. That was my spleenhole.

Bette: ...How?

Tim: It took a trip to the Titanic in a soup can with a Playstation controller.

———————

Duke: Since when did you have that scar?

Tim: Since losing my spleen last year.

Duke: How do you lose a spleen?

Tim: You forget to cherish it.

———————

Cass: ?

Tim: I digested it.

———————

Selina: You know I have to tell Bruce about this.

Tim: Okay, fine.

Tim: I had to get it removed as a kid after falling into a well of bats.

———————

Bruce: Tell me what happened to your spleen so Alfred and Leslie can give you the proper treatment.

Tim: What do you mean?

Bruce: Everyone's been telling me you don't have it.

Tim: Well, I do, so...

Bruce: Alright, I'll have a talk with them about bad taste pranks.

———————

Alfred: You can't keep the truth from me, Master Tim.

Tim: Assassins stole it.

Alfred: I wasn't born yesterday. Now what really happened?

Tim: ...

Tang bo return au inspired by ge's and azu1as Tangchung arranged marriage au

Something Something happens and chung myung ends up needing to be (faked) married for a short awhile so the tang family offers the hand of a distant tang cousin who's been making waves in the cultivation world and getting stronger during the last 3 years (*note that this is after cm is 21 ) who seems to REALLY hate the demonic cult and the great sects who won't meet each other until the wedding day

Now on the outsider pov we have people up and down making sure everything is doing good on said wedding night , and it is ..... except for the fact that said wedding grooms seem to be late for THEIR OWN WEDDING

Thankfully the mount hua disciplines see their youngest coming, not so Thankfully he's coming covered in blood dragging a (dead or unconscious ? ) demonic cult member and all of you are worrying about the poor groom who doesn't deserve to be tied down to this heart attack inducing menace ,except the groom ALSO Shows up covered in blood dragging a (also dead or unconscious ?! ) body without a care in the world, then all of you see your youngest FREEZE at the site of him as if he saw the dead coming back to life he did

And the tang groom freezes too and whispers in awe and confusion " taoist hyung-nime!? "

The crazy bastards proceed to drop the bodies and launch at each other with desperation

And all of you are hit with a horrible gut feeling that this isn't going to be a "fake" wedding after all .

Bleeding heart dove

Urgent appeal for help to provide food and medicine to ensure a safe pregnancy, as well as to secure food for my family of 10 members:

1. Nasr (my father) - 51 years old

2. Hend (my mother) - 47 years old

3. Ahmed (brother) - 22 years old

4. Linda (sister) - 25 years old

5. Mohammed (sister's husband) - 29 years old

6. Talin (sister) - 14 years old

7. Rema - 4 years old

8. Saleh - 2 years old

9. Mohammed (my husband) - 39 years old

10. My grandmother - 74 years old

€ 6.128/€ 7,000( Deadline 20 Dec ).

20 hours left.

GoFundMe

vetted by👇

✅ gaz-evacuation-funds here

✅bilal-salah0 here

✅khanger here

Urgent !!!

€ 872 to reach € 7.000

We need 58 ppl to donate 15€ to reach goal

Only 7 days

Plz help us

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Jason, to himself: If I can catch Tim off guard when he comes back from patrol he'll confess about breaking my favourite Wonder Woman's mug

Jason, as Tim wanders in: Got anything to confess??

Tim, very very high off Gotham Harbor fumes: Ra's pickled my spleen.

I like the idea of Nightwing being a well-known figure among the hero community, but relatively unknown to the public outside of Gotham and Blüdhaven. Like, he was the first ever sidekick and a kid of one of the Justice League's founding members. Most older heroes are his aunts and uncles, the first generation of sidekicks are his friends, and to the younger ones, he is a mentor and older brother figure. The hero community loves him. But outside of that, he is just a local hero. He sticks to the shadows, and while the people of blüdhaven love him, and the people of Gotham have at least heard of him, he is not very well known.

That is until the Justice League hosts some sort of public event with a lot of younger heroes attending, and one journalist gets an idea for a fun, lighthearted story. They go around asking different heroes and sidekicks who their favorite hero is, and 80% have the same answer: Nightwing

I'm gonna make a post with all of the 'stick figure violence' adjacent images I have. if anyone knows any similar ones I'm missing PLEASE SEND ME THEM. I have an unhealthy obsession with them.

Keep your messaging simple:

“Trump fired everyone in charge of airplane safety, and a week later planes started crashing into each other.”

That’s it. That’s the messaging. Don’t get bogged down disputing Trump’s false claims. Just blame him, in short and repeatable sentences.

damian: you bumbling bafoon! never in my life have i met such a -

jason: big words considering i fucked your mom.

dick: YOU DID WHAT?!

jason: oops