Why Was I So Full Of Hate And Malice 17 Hours Ago

Every time a small child starts crying or having a tantrum in my vicinity and I catch the parents glancing at me I’ve started saying “me when…”.

Friend kept trying to tell his crying kindergartener to calm down and relax and the kid growled “I AM relaxed” while visibly tensing every muscle in his body and I was like “oh that’s me at work every day” and we had a chuckle.

Parents look to other adults like “shit are they mad? Do they think my kid is acting like a demon?” And this response is my attempt to say “no. I think your kid is just acting like a human being.”

I WISH I could fling myself on the ground and cry because I experienced a minor inconvenience.

decided to take matters into my own hands and make em myself. full bush edition.

I want a group chat of friends that exists for the sole purpose of me send a nude every morning for them to degrade/praise 🫠🫠🫠

it does suck that you can’t headcanon that a character would go bald when they’re older without people assuming you’re making a joke. Like it’s not allowed to be a “cool thing” to headcanon

Thought of you guys

This is me if you even care

(plush source)

we need to start romanticizing doing household chores in tank tops and sweatpants in the same way that we romanticize knighthood and i am not fucking kidding

Like/reblog if the thought of being a cute, mindless fuck puppy, stuffed full in all holes, sounds really nice right now. Just a sweet, brainless toy to be played with. No thoughts needed