What Feminism Means To Me?
What feminism means to me?
Whenever I come across a new word, my first approach towards understanding it, is through the kind of words it is related to or the impression that word has on me. And only when I don't find either of it, I go for the dictionary. So, when I came across this word "FEMINISM" my basic approach told me that it is a word related to females and it's impression was that, it is related to some bigger cause. Therefore for a very long time the meaning of feminism for me was supporting women and their growth. But little did I know that this small word means something completely different.
Feminism as I now know is supporting equal rights to both the sexes. Yes, the meaning I earlier made out really seems correct because eventually females are the oppressed class and if we help them grow then the meaning of feminism will be fulfilled. But still this approach lacks the real essence. I mean personally I don't want a single place to give women preferential treatment, I don't even like the reserved seats in bus for women, because if you are reserving seat for women then why not you label the other seats as reserved for men. The truth is even if we ask the government to label the other seats as men's seat they won't, because it will make men look weak, it will make them look as the class of society who needs preference/reservation in such basic things, especially when they are "strong" enough to stand in the bus all through the journey (which they definitely don't do but they are strong enough). I think labelling seats as reserved for pregnants, sick patients and elderly is the correct approach. I don't know what you think but for me indirectly getting labelled as weak who needs support is not feminism at all.
I know that we are not biologically same, we have our differences and no matter what, they won't change. But when men and women can climb the same Mt. Everest, why can't they achieve the same respect in society. My question is why does a female manager gets less wages than a male manager, even when the man manages just his office while a woman manages her family and office together. I have heard people discuss greatly of single dads but a woman is always a single mom. I agree that time is changing dads are more involved now but still in most of the Indian households it is still the mother who is responsible for a child's health, education, upbringing, etc the only contribution dad's have is giving money and majority of women can earn that also now. Still I haven't heard a single person saying "she brought up her kid alone". So no appreciation at work or home for females, and that's precisely what needs to be changed.
There are so many causes which we take under the movement of feminism but in reality belong to the movement of humanity. Do you think domestic violence is something feminists should fight for or humanists should fight for? Like as a feminist I must have one approach that I don't care if domestic violence is considered correct but if it is correct then women should also get a chance and not be judged for beating up their husbands. Like that is what we are asking "equal rights". So for me it is something humanists should fight for and not feminists. I guess you would have understood by this description that there are so many things, so many instances and moments where we women are not even treated like humans. So, yes how can we jump on getting equal rights if we are not even getting basic human rights.
This is why the meaning of feminism is so blurry because we have to fight for basic rights first then only we can aim for equal rights. In all this, I am still against reservation for women because anyhow labelling us weak is not true to the essence of feminism. I am clearly against undermining the good men by accusing "all men". I am against not fighting those women who act even worsely than men and are the biggest hater of a woman's growth. So today and everyday I ask the world to treat me as they would treat a woman, but to end all differences between a man and a woman. I think most of the women, girls, females want the same thing.
In an ideal world I hope that all men and women are equally appreciated, supported and treated. I hope there are more scenarios where we act as humans and not men or women. I hope we could clear the gender boundaries at workplaces, public places and become more respectful of each other. We don't have to worry because all consider each other as humans respect each other's rights and existence. Most importantly we don't have to fight for basic human respect.
More Posts from Acupofconfusedfeelings and Others
The best thing about characters of a book is not what they do in the book, it's the little backstory about them. The story that makes them what they are in the book. No character is beautiful without their backstory. And ain't it the same with humans??
Sitting alone
Sitting alone I always miss the time I didn't need company
The time when I felt secure even when no one offered security
The time when without taking the effort to make friends I had a lot of them
I miss the comfort I got in my mother's arms
The time when she was just a room away and not, a call away
I miss the childhood mistakes
The time when irrespective of the kind of my mistake I was always forgiven
I miss when love was always around
The time when I didn't have to find someone who loves me
I miss when adulting seemed fun
The time when I didn't realize that independence can be a burden too
I miss when fulfilling our dreams was the biggest dream
The time when I didn't know how difficult it is in reality
I miss and I miss
But the most i miss is when i didn't have to sit alone
The time when even being alone i knew that I am not alone
20s is about being everything
I have never been a person who had any big plans for my 20s. Honestly, my plans have always been about life in general, like I should ultimately become this, I should have someone who loves me and I should travel a lot but no goal like I should achieve this particular thing in my 20s. Although now when I am really in this stage of my life I have realised how much I have to do and how much I am doing. It's really a life changing phase, you are no more a kid and you are not even a responsible adult. Your time to make 'n' number of mistakes is over but yet you are clueless about the best decisions for yourself in more than 99% of occasions. You have people to support you but you don't have people to walk with you on difficult paths.
I am in my 20s unaware of what is right and what is wrong. Adulting at my own pace usually seems slower than others. Deep down I know I am growing, I appreciate how far I have come but on the other end it doesn't seem enough. I have learnt a lot, I am different from what I was in school. I am stronger but yet more fragile than before. I am confident yet afraid of others' perception about me as a whole. I am surrounded by people yet alone for long. I want to be loved romantically yet I am afraid of commitment. It's complicated but still clear. Maybe 20s is about being everything, being a super hero and a weakling together. It's about feeling everything so that ultimately you know what you want to be. It's about living different lives with single soul. It's about experimenting everything so that in your 30s you know which experiment had the most successful results.
It doesn't need any planning, it's just about living in the moment, going on a road trip without a map but with hope of reaching the destination. It can be a successful and joyful ride, it can be a painful and rough ride but in the end where ever you reach will be far away from where you started and would be indeed more lovelier than what you plan.
One sided friendship
I have heard a lot of people explain one sided love
But never heard anyone even talk about one sided friendship
Did you?
Honestly speaking I have been on both ends
I remember ignoring people even when they were ready to loose all for me
I remember being ignored even when I was ready to loose all of me
Did you?
Still think about going back and joining those chords
But what are the odds
Those I ignored have moved on tired of wasting their time
And those on whom I wasted my time never seemed mine
But still I wish for their call
Do you?
I find it weird how we just connect to some
I find it sad when those connections don't care and for them you are not the one
I thought love asked for a lot
but now I think even friendship's demands are not a dot
Do you?
Maybe they asked for so much that I just stayed aloof
Maybe my demands were so much that they considered me fool
Being nice and being friends are different I realised late
Not everyone you like is ready to be a part of your fate
Were you also a one sided friend at one time?
Do you also think that it was worth the time?
What if the efforts were not equal,
It was a friendship you initiated and it will never have a sequel...
Oscar Wilde said:
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
And this
"With freedom, flowers, books, and the moon, who could not be perfectly happy?"
And then this
"I am tired of myself tonight, I should like to be someone else"
And now someone please tell me if I am the only one who thinks his thoughts are so similar to me...
He could have been a great friend.
It makes me, me
I was waiting for my feelings to go numb
I was waiting for that day but I was dumb
I thought that with each day the wound would grow old
I expected that each day would make me cold
But little I realised
And very little I was surprised
With each passing day
My feelings started spreading like a ray
It reached ever nook and corner of my existence
But I was still hoping with persistence
It was so difficult to feel
The reason I thought time would heal
Soon I had a lot of opinions
Surprisingly they made me cry more than onions
Soon the tree of feeling got a strong hold
Now I knew nothing was going to get old
All experiences and incidents
Were giving my wounds new dents
Crying became a constant part of my lifestyle
Funny enough that it was just a more defined form of my old style
I didn't know what to do with so much going on inside
Never realised it would be so much more than what was going outside
Checking and rechecking all emotions
Hide and seek with everything was in motion
Defining the ideas I had was important
Knowing I was right was like a reinforcement
I knew the wounds are not going now
But still adapting raised the question how
Connecting dots was a daily routine
Adulting is much more difficult than being a teen
Sensations, feelings and emotions are always going to be difficult for me
But when I introspect I realise it makes me, me.
Not loneliness but a peaceful abode
It's so lovely to walk on an empty road
It's not loneliness but a peaceful abode
The winds going slowly
Making your hairs a messy fun
You make the map to walk on
Nothing specific for your attention to lock on
You take your favourite turns
You can open yourself and run
The grass even on your side seems greener
You are not you but someone with a different demeanor
You might go back to the memory lane
But it's so nice that it doesn't give you pain
You can remember your favourite song
You might realise you haven't listened it for so long
You might sigh but it's a sigh of relief
There is no one to give you social anxiety
You can think the things you never think about
You can feel the emotions you were unaware about
It's not tragic
But just magic
The world is burning with passion
People are burning with emotions
You are burning with love
But here I stand
With my flickering soul
I have a flickering soul...
Two cups of coffee is all I need
But only one cup for me
The other one for someone I really wanna meet
Someone who pays heed
Till then let the coffee rest
Till then I will hope for the best
Sometimes you had planned so much about a life with a certain person in it, that even a picture or a memory of them today can make you feel completely empty from inside. Although you were happily living your life on your own till yesterday and its been years of not being in touch with them.
