Me Sleeping Peacefully At Night After I Just Spent The Whole Day Reading And Writing The Most Disgusting,

me sleeping peacefully at night after i just spent the whole day reading and writing the most disgusting, vile smut about fictional men

˚✧⋆˚sρᥲᥴᥱ bᥱtwᥱᥱᥒ

Summary: sam finds you unable to fall asleep, drowsiness turns into sweet confessions

Pairings: sam winchester x reader. height difference implied. childhood friends!

warnings: fluff, cursing, shirtless sam cuz yeah that's a warning in itself, no use of (y/n), not edited at all bro-

word count: 1.4k

notes: RAHH i don't like this one very much but its cute and i was kicking my feet while writing this.

the night was cold, too cold. even though you felt sam lying beside you, you couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard you tried. perhaps it was intrusive thoughts of the last hunt, loud, blaring thoughts. or maybe it was the uncomfortable motel bed you still haven't gotten used to like the two brothers.

you shift, eyes falling to the clock on the bedside table first. 3AM. a groan leaves your lips at the sight because you knew you had to be back up in about 3 hours.

but then your eyes fall on the beautiful man sleeping next to you in bed. you see, there were two twin XL sized beds in this musty motel room. sam didn't want you to take the pull out and you didn't want him to either so you ended up agreeing on sharing the bed while dean slept alone on the other.

you didn't mind, it was an excuse to lay next to your crush. but after 3 hours of restlessness, you regret it because now you feared waking him.

you sit up, rubbing your drowsy eyes and sliding your legs out of the bed. you don't see sam unconsciously stirring on the bed as he feels the absence of your warmth gone even in his sleep.

fixing your sleep shirt and the gym shorts you threw on to sleep,you stand up from the bed and wobble over to the sliding doors of the motel’s balcony; bare feet platting against the cheap tiled floor.

you discreetly open the balcony door, you cringe internally when it creaks as it slides just enough for you to fit your body through it while barely making a sound.

the cold night air hits you like the most comforting wave, making you hug your torso when you lean your elbows on the railing.

you think about the recent events that have unfolded since you joined the winchesters in their hunting. the constant brushes with death, the gruesome sights youve seen. you always felt tense nowadays, like your body was stuck in this permanent trance of fight or flight. it made sleeping harder.

a few moments, the peaceful silence is interrupted when you hear the balcony door slide further open with another creak. you whip around just to meet sam’s eyes, a soft smile spreading across your face.

“hey…why are you awake?” you ask cautiously, turning only halfway to look at him.

he was holding the blanket along his chest for modesty, still shirtless under the soft cloth. “i could ask you the same…” he mumbles, hoarsely, his sleepy voice stirring a pleasant feeling in your chest. he walks up to you, standing in front of you by the railing. “something wrong?...” the way he says your name so kindly sends a wave of reassurance and comfort through you. it reminded me why you loved him so much. that was a scary thought though so you pushed it away.

“just couldn't sleep” you say truthfully, there was no point in lying to him anyway. he nods in understanding, tugging the blanket around himself.

in a swift motion, he drapes the blanket over your shoulders and his own so you're sharing the warmth but he maintains a respectable enough distance from you so he doesn't make you uncomfortable. part of you wanted to be closer. no all of you. you'd be lying to yourself if you haven't imagined laying on his chest, cuddling up to him.

he knew how stressful this has all been for you, you've been friends since diapers and he knew you better than anyone. he could tell how you were feeling with a glance, and vice versa.

but this whole hunting thing was still new to you, it was still scary. and he didn't blame you. “i know you too well to believe in, ‘just couldn't sleep’” he muses under his breath

the protectiveness he felt for you drowning the tired ache in his muscles.

“im just a bit shaken up…” you admit in a soft whisper, keeping the stillness of the night. “im still not used to hunting things. seeing all that you see every day.”

he nods shortly, tilting his head down slightly to meet your gaze. “mhm…i understand.” he was once in your position. when his brother called him to hunt again, to continue the family business. it was unnerving. but hes developed thick skin after everything hes been through, he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad thing.

“but you know id always be here, right..?” he breaks the still silence once again. your heart pumps loudly in your ear at his words and the promise that came with them.

you look up at him, eyes narrowing but landing on his own. its like this magnetic pull, overwhelming but pleasant. “yeah…yeah i know” you whisper, you hand brushing against his. it felt like sparks. you didnt want this moment to end, not so soon. “i just felt so scared today. when that thing attacked…i just- i thought i was going to die” you say with a humorless chuckle, shaking your head.

sam softens, concern and care written all over his face as he looks at you. that was his biggest fear about having you hunting with him; you getting hurt. or worse, dying. it killed him to even think about it.

with a hesitant hand, he reaches up and lifts your chin with his index finger and his thumb. the way he whispers your name catches your breath. “...i don't know what i’d you if something happened to you.” he whispers sincerely.

his eyes tell you he wants to say more, but he hesitates. “what?” you urge, tilting your head up and to the side to follow his gaze.

sam knows he feels deeply, but he feels wrong expressing it. “its just…i just care deeply about you, you know?” he mutters carefully, every single word he was saying was meticulously chosen.

you shift your body, facing him completely now. you reach up, plucking his hand from you chin to hold it tenderly; lacing your fingers with his. you stayed silent, but your eyes urged him to keep going. there was a bubbling in your stomach that hinted at what he was trying to say, so you waited.

sam gulps, mirroring you and facing you as well, neck craning down to meet your eyes. his palms felt sweaty, eyes darting to every corner of the world except your eyes. “i like you” he blurs out, but a few beats later feels stupid.

‘like’ felt like something you'd say to your high school crush, not the person of your dreams. he curses under his breath, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “no-no…i…jesus fuck- i love you. i love you.” he continues, finally meeting your eyes.

in his head, you wouldn't believe him unless he was looking into your soul for dear life. “i tried to stop feeling this way, but i cant. youre all i think about, day in and day out. my person, and god- i cant live without you. just the thought of it makes me-” you cut him off with a hug.

your arms wrap around his bare waist, pressing your cheek against his chest as the blanket around you both cocoon you safety together. you can feel the steady beat of his heart against your skin, his warmth radiating to you. he melts into your touch, pressing his lips against the top of your head.

the weight of the feelings settle, and even after your silent confirmation that you reciprocate those feelings. he still wanted, no needed, to hear it coming from your sweet lips. “...you love me too?” he eventually asks, leaning back just enough to look down at you.

you look up at him, offering him a playful but awe full smile. “of course i do…” you mumble. your hands slowly travel up his sides, caressing him and stopping on his cheeks. your thumbs gently rub across his cheek bones, pulling his face down slowly, giving him more than enough time to back out if he wants to.

but he doesn't. in fact, he meets you in the middle for a tender kiss. it felt cliche, but your felt sparks flying between you. even though the kiss was slow, sweet, it was exciting. the idea of kissing your best friend after years of yearning, it was almost like a reward.

you pull back slightly, disconnecting your lips and taking sharp breaths. he rests his forehead against yours, you return it. a soft chuckle escapes your lips, and he echoes it. the weight of years being taken off of your shoulders. “god, we we're screwed” you mumble with a giddy grin, earning another lighthearted chuckle from him.

you knew damn well so much more change would come upon you, but this time, it wasn't bad change. it wasn't scary. because you had sam.

(divider by @kodaswrld)