My Brothers Just Had An Argument Over If Our Mum Is A Vegatable

A Summary of the Magnus Archives, written by someone who has never listened to it

So there’s an archive, and they keep scary stuff in it. The archive is one really long hallway like the one in the penitentiary episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, and I think every door has a monster behind it? It looks like this. The main character is just roaming around with a tape recorder. 

For the first few episodes you aren’t aware there are characters. Then later you meet the archivists. They have names like Peter Lukas, who is a rip-off of Peter Nureyev but also is kind of like Cutter from Wolf 359, Elias Pritchard I think is how you spell it, Basirah, who is a bad-ass I think, Martin, who is very soft and sweet and looks kind of like Aziraphale, and Jonny Sims. The guy who writes the show is also named Jonny Sims, like Night Vale. 

The whole show is kind of a weird mash-up of Night Vale, Wolf 359, The Bright Sessions, and Death by Dying. It takes the oh-no-weird-paranormal elements of WNTV and DBD and the oh-no-Capitalism-is-going-to-kill-us-all elements of TBS and W359. Everyone has a British accent. (I’ve listened to one audio clip and the guy had a British accent so I assume they all do.)

The man that built the archives was named Magnus. I think. Magnus must have been a really f-ed up guy. Then he died. He got eaten by the big crab thing, because apparently there is a big crab thing. Now the archives are run by the Johnny Sims guy, and he has major depression. He’s in denial over the fact that he is gay for Martin. Martin knows he is gay for Johnny but won’t tell anyone. There are lesbians but Elias somebody is lesbophobic. The fandom fights over this a lot. 

Basically, the show tells you about the ways that people have died by the monsters, especially the crab-monster, and some other monster that I think is called the Silencer? I imagine it as looking like the Nightmare from Metroid Fusion. I mean look at this goddamn thing. 

That’s what the archive is hiding. It’s clearly hiding something. I think Elias and Peter are the bad guys? One of them dies, or maybe both. The Silencer eats Peter I think. Elias gets eaten by the crab. All I know is someone gets eaten by the fucking enormous crab. 

I think the show is very diverse, but I see a lot of people yelling at each other about it, so maybe it has issues? Maybe it’s like Voltron. Is this show like Voltron? I used to really like Voltron. Then Season 5 happened and I stopped liking it. I’m not sure how many seasons this show has. Six, I think. 

I think the archives are set somewhere where there is snow, because I see snow in fanart a lot, and big sweaters. Maybe like Northern Ireland. That explains the British Accents. 

Day 8: Your Favourite LGBTQ+ Book - I couldn’t possibly choose just one!

BRIAN’S BOOKSHELF | SEPTEMBER 2021

So, I recently rediscovered my love of reading and delved head-first into the LGBTQIA+ genre, specifically looking for books written by members of the community. Considering I read 9 books last month, I’d say I was pretty successful. 

(Note: Boyfriend Material was actually a re-read this time, but I’m very much looking forward to the sequel, Husband Material, which is expected August 2022.)

My TOP THREE for the month were: One Last Stop (wlw, found family, queer and trans POC characters that I absolutely L-O-V-E-D), Cemetery Boys (mlm, trans Latiné lead, truly the *perfect* October read), and The Witch King (mlm, trans lead, BIPOC side characters, modern fantasy aspects that worked really well, PLUS a sequel - The Fae Keeper - slated for a May 2022 release).

I also really enjoyed The Darkness Outside Us, The House in the Cerulean Sea, and The Charm Offensive. 4/5 stars for all of them, very solid books.

I struggled through the first half (yes, 200+ pages) of Winter’s Orbit, but found the second half to be much better, I zoomed right through to the end. I never really got into We Are The Ants, which I’m fairly certain is the oldest book on the list, but I ultimately did finish it. 

Check out towards.utopia on ig for more

DNI if you hate sharks

why you should read the fire and brimstone scrolls by nikole knight

HELLO y'all. you might remember me from this post where I went on about why people should read wolfsong, the first book in the green creek series, and it’s been two years since I made that post. it still gets notes, and judging by how many it has I’m guessing I got a good portion of y'all to read it. so I figured I’d try again with a new book series and a new author!! I completely devoured this series over the last week and a half, and as far as I know, it has almost no fandom on here or anywhere else I’ve seen and I need to fix that. SO, here we go:

it’s six books (the first one is called revelations, shown above), so there is plenty of content for you to absorb!

and the series is completed so there will be no agonizing waiting between books, you can just read the next one right away!

it’s a dark new adult fantasy/romance set in a world of angels and demons, heaven and hell

sloooooow burn at first. but oh my god the payoff. 

as of now there are only 2 (TWO!!) fics on ao3 and NOTHING in the tags here (except a moodboard I made hehehe) so just like when green creek was just starting to be popular, we all have the opportunity to build up the fandom and spread word of it around!

eventually ends up being a poly romance!!!

poly rep, ace rep (in a main character!), gay rep, bi rep, fluid characters (characters who identify with he/him pronouns but like to dress up occasionally/wear feminine things), just delightfully queer from beginning to end

begins with our hero riley shephard, sweet, sweet, sheltered riley, who has grown up in an abusive household and is away from home for the first time at college

in the first book you can tell that he’s very innocent and naive, he hasn’t been exposed to the outside world much due to his upbringing with an abusive foster parent, so to watch him grow and discover himself is just so incredible, and by the end of the sixth book you’re like WOW!! MY BABY GROWN 

a heart-wrenching journey of self-discovery, freedom, and love and acceptance that I just could not stop reading from start to finish, I literally finished every single book within a day or two and I can’t remember the last time I binged a series like that

will definitely not be for everyone, but if you can handle all the stuff listed below then I promise it is SO worth it to read because of the story at the heart of it

TRIGGER WARNING: the whole series contains graphic violence, gore, scenes of traumatic sexual assault both on and off page, child abuse, torment, and a couple other things that might be difficult for people to read, but the author includes a content warning at the beginning of every book!! 

hella, hella angst

but so many beautiful scenes too, scenes of coping and healing from trauma and incredible chemistry between the characters!!

did I mention the poly romance

it’s a long journey to get there, but it ends happily and in such a satisfying way!!

the development of the main character is just such a great thing to read, it made me cry to read how he changes for the better but also has to fight the darker parts of himself

if you liked the green creek series I truly believe you’ll like this too! and if I’m wrong you can come into my inbox and drag me! but this is one of my new favorite series ever and I have no one to talk about it with!

but seriously if you like gay werewolves and gay witches, try some gay angels!

I just love Riley Shepard so much

and the angels. oh my god the angels. jairus, noel and gideon. I love them all so much.

I don’t know what else to say I just want to spread this series around because it deserves the love!! it’s so good! so fucking good! 

I’m just begging y'all to give this series a chance so I won’t be alone in my little corner

Editing this to add: Kirt Graves, the same person who narrates TJ Klune’s audiobooks, will also be narrating this series!!

This blog is solely to help me remember funny things I encountered but wtf does this mean

My brothers just had an argument over if our mum is a vegatable

!! I was wondering when someone would bring this up!!!

For the longest time I was trying to figure out why they thought pansexuals were simultaneously bisexual and biphobic and after extensive research I've figured out that it's because panphobes have no critical thinking skills.

Someone: "Pansexuality is the same as bisexuality therefore its biphobic so im panphobic >:((("

Me: "So you're saying you're biphobic?"

Them: "no-"

Me: "By your definition they are the same thing, so if you're panphobic you're biphobic. By your definition, because that is what you said."

Them:

Them: >:(

I know nothing about castlevainia but I worship the blond he's so pretty

im going through that phase, yknow the one, where im super into various mythologies and literally have shelves just full of myths and legends