He Smiles Deviously “If You Really Want It. I Got A Lot Of Grenades That Explode Out Random Stuff.”

Ahem….@wyvchard

When fanfiction writers go overboard with the angst of your favourite character:

Me:

STOP IT

I’m gonna cry. Again. 😭😭😭

part two of my sad ass ieytd fic

Pheonixes first thought when waking up were 

Ugh! Todays cancelled, Five more minutes

wich was promptly followed by 

Ow, just, ow

Then, finally:

fuck. oh shit OH FUCK IM STILL ALIVE!? AGAIN?! 

God I really need to stop waking up like this…

This was the point they realized that the predicament they were in, well it was bad to say the least. They were trapped, bleeding out under who knows how much rubble of the unstable wreckage of a building probably still on fire from a massive explosion of a nuke, one which definitely should have killed them when the 32 storey death drop in a steal trap didn’t. 

They checked their earpiece, and sent out a mental signal

[Crain…] they started, begging that their mental link to him was still working. 

[please If you can hear me, I-I need you, bad. I’m alive. I’m still down here and I can’t see a world were I get out of here by myself. please give me a sign your getting this I… I don’t…]

They waited for a response, a sign, anything that would point to his signal being received…

A terrible silence was all that followed.

[Please, reg, I.. I don’t wanna die all alone, not like this.]

oh god please not like this

No answer, not even a sound.

They were on their own.

Reginald pov

it had been two days since the peace summit, two days without hearing from his agent, and it felt wrong. Usually he would wake up, check in on Phoenix, who would almost always keep him occupied with stupid stories and questions for hours, and if not that, he was going to a meeting to discuss strategy and next steps, always eager to figure out phoenixes next assignment. he always looked forward to their missions together, and always felt responsible when something went wrong.

when Phoenix was assigned the mission to destroy the death engine, well let’s just say he wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. 

He knew, even with the escape pod detaching from the station before it detonated, and the training and the countless backup plans that would ensure Phoenix made it back definitely not unscathed but at the very least alive, he knew that their was a high chance that that would be their last mission together, and of course Phoenix knew this to, and stupidly, bravely, but mostly stubbornly, threw themselves headfirst into the mission without a second thought because they knew it needed to be done. 

———————————————————————

On their way to board the death engine, Reginald could feel Phoenix fear through the mental link. It was weak, almost lost under the stronger feeling of determination, which was definitely there as well.

“Agent, I want to say something before you get up there”

A short pause came before phoenixes response

[has the mission changed sir?]  he could hear mentally in his mind, his heart broke when he picked up the hopefulness in the link, they really didn’t want do this, did they?

“No, the plan hasn’t changed, I…”

They were about to do something highly discouraged by the agency, and slightly unprofessional by its standards, but he didn’t care, if this was their last mission, they wanted them to know.

“I think after all this time together, you don’t need to call me sir anymore agent.. “

Another pause, a much longer one..

[okay… but I’m not sure what other title to give you.. I can’t really think of a stand in for sir.. at least not right now, what did you have in mind?]

God am I really going to do this?

Sigh “agent, you know me far better than most, and you don’t even know my name, I think the time for formalities has came and gone. My name is Reginald Craine, and I think you deserve to know that about me before…”

Before what? They die, they part ways? They-

[before I get up there… thank you si.. I mean…]

God this is why isn’t it, this was a huge mistake

[thanks Craine, that.. well let’s just say that saying it means a lot is an understatement.. I’m sorry I can’t return the favour]

Reginald was confused.

“What do you mean?”

A somehow even longer silence came.

[I don’t… I don’t know who I am… I don’t remember my name…  where i came from or, who i was before the agency… the last thing i can remember was waking up from getting my inplant put in and… well… I only know the minimal information thats on my file, agent #146, mute, acceptional on the feild… nothing else.. ]

Reginald was the one silent this time. He was processing this new info about his agent. And the more he realized, his agent knew more about him than basically anyone else in his life, and yet, he knew nothing about them.

“God… I’m so sorry Agent why didn’t you tell the agency?!? I… we could have helped you!”

His agent paused, Choosing his words carefully.

[no ones ever cared enough about me to ask, it never even remotely came up. most other agents don’t speak to their superiors unless they’re spoken to first, and well, they only ever speak to us when they need to, and most of the time, the agent just needs to nod and say “affirmative” and then, poof, their gone again. I’m honestly shocked about your openness to talking to me even when you’re instructing me during missions… you’re the.. never mind]

“I’m what?” He asked concerned feeling the strong wave of uncertainty and hesitation through the link.

[nothing Craine… sir… It’s not remotely important]

“Agent..” He began comfortingly, hoping the link would carry his feelings of guilt and shame over his the agency’s failure to his agent.

“You can’t remember your own name, that’s extremely important. please, you need help, and I will do everything in my power to help you. But I can’t do anything if you don’t talk to me. So drop the “sir” talk and tell me what’s going on.” He practically begged.

One last silence came over them before the agent took in a shaky breath and said

[you are the first one in my life who’s treated me like a person and not an asset and… I… ]

A wave of emotions carried through the link, relief, sadness, but mostly an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

[thank you Craine… for everything]

The agents ship landed at the death engine. They had managed to board the station without rising suspicion, and he was feeling quite proud. All seemed to be going well!

“All right agent now..”  

until they heard a computerized voice on the other end of the ear piece. And a voice saying… brace for impact? And…

“Is that a countdown I’m hearing, but what could…”

Oh no.

“Oh my god, AGENT, ITS FIRING, YOU NEED TO-!”

A deafening explosion reverted through the earth. The ground violently shaking as the building shook. A massive earthquake broke through the earth, all phones were down, the line, silent. The last thing Reginald felt through the mental link, was desperation, and fear. 

They tried to reach their agent through the link. barely retaining their composure.

“Agent… Agent do you copy?”

Silence

Suddenly they felt panic rise, an unexpected wave of desperation washed over them as they called out again, voice breaking.

“Agent come in… Agent do you.. agent please answer… oh god please no… AGENT?!”

They blinked back uninvited tears but still no answer…

They were on their own

“A small shot glass.”

Kai is wandering around the place, probably lost again, and finds an office with a door slightly open. He stops for a moment, considering just going about his day, but (being the slightly nosy person he is) decides some friendly conversation couldn't hurt.

He pushes the door open, "Anyone in here?"

@agent--shadow

”Who’s there?” Pheoness remarks, leaning back on her favorite spinney chair

thank you for the idea. Have a drawing of the Reginald I stole from @stellar-collective with his new feathery fren

*trigger warning, description of blood and violence*

Agent Phoenix: *on a mission, minding their own business*

Reginald: *telling a story about a duck he saw on the way to work* yes and then you wouldn't believe it! It bit me!

Agent Phoenix: that sucks. Sorry that happened.

Reginald: you know, you may find this funny but it reminded me of when I was 15 and I was walking through the same park on my way home from my first part time job when I was assaulted by a group of ruffians who thought they were going to be the next big crime lords of the city. They beat me within an inch of my life and one of them nearly bit my finger off when I tried to fight back! It was only hanging on by a flap of skin! I crawled my way to a phone booth; leaving quite the trail of blood and called my mother to take me to the hospital! I couldn't afford an ambulance! They told me I should be dead with how much blood I lost! But they put me back together and months later I was back on my feet. You know what I did?

Agent Phoenix: *horrified* ... What did you do, Handler?

Reginald: remember when I told you about the old, gun through the mail slot trick? You're talking to the man who invented that one. Shattered each and every one of their kneecaps and let 'em die where they lay. Next thing you know, I'm getting offered a job here at the EOD! I was told "anyone who can live through that and still have an itchy trigger finger even with those stitches would be a valuable asset here" and they were right! I basically run this show you know.

Agent Phoenix: ...

Reginald: Anyway agent, I will still feed the duck again tomorrow and hopefully we can become friends! Imagine me running around with a little pet duck waddling around behind me!

Agent Phoenix: ... Just one quick question.

Reginald: yes?

Agent Phoenix: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Reginald: well-

Agent Phoenix: follow up question, WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULD FIND THAT FUNNY?!

(Ahhh accidentally used the wrong blog so I’m redoing the post)

“Good for you, kid.” she pats his shoulder

“At least Zor has no more power over ya.”

Kai is wandering around the place, probably lost again, and finds an office with a door slightly open. He stops for a moment, considering just going about his day, but (being the slightly nosy person he is) decides some friendly conversation couldn't hurt.

He pushes the door open, "Anyone in here?"

@agent--shadow

”Who’s there?” Pheoness remarks, leaning back on her favorite spinney chair

Lore dump + Doodles

In missions the two alternate when going on missions but sometimes both agents join a mission at the same time!

Operation: Friendly Skies

Agent Pheonix is in charge of the first mission while Pheoness is on standby. Pheoness prays that the poor guy doesn’t die on his first mission, and if he does, make it quick. Phoenix’s reckless behavior results in some close calls but doesn’t die a horrible death yet. When Handler tells them that they could get a vacation from this mission, Pheonix gets happy like a caffeinated puppy and Pheoness, while skeptical, is also pleased. Unfortunately, Handler admits they don’t get that vacation, which disappoints Pheonix but makes Pheoness even more annoyed at their Handler, even threatening him at times.

Operation: Squeaky clean

There’s really no lore in this mission. Pheoness goes on the mission and creates the antivirus safety, although, there are a few funny moments like when Handler says he doesn’t know how to make an antivirus, Pheoness starts yelling at him in Spanish and plot twist, Handler speaks Spanish too. The two are just arguing in Spanish while Pheonix has no idea what they’re saying and is just like😐

Operation: Deep dive

Pheoness decides to take this mission again because she thinks it’s too dangerous for Pheonix. Since commutations can’t reach underwater, Handler nor Pheonix know if she survived or not. But while she’s there, she tends to miss her two work associates. She’s able to survive and make it to the surface. Once communications have been restored, it seems both Handler and Pheonix were extremely worried, which confused her since she’s not used to people caring.

Between Deep Dive and Winter Break:

After 3 missions, an agent’s Handler has a meeting with the higher ups to decide if they want to stay with their current agent(s) or move to another agent. As you can tell, a lot of Pheoness’s handlers have not been with her past this stage so she goes a long rant about how their current Handler is probably gonna keep Pheonix but not her while pacing the floor of her office. When Director Morales shows the results, to her surprise, Handler wanted to keep working with both of them! When she confronts Handler and asks him why, he says that he thinks she has a lot of hidden potential. Though she’s annoying at times, he thinks she’s an amazing agent on missions. This leaves her speechless and the events of my comic with Pheoness and Pheonix occur

Link to comic:

https://www.tumblr.com/agentpheoness/760266561225392128/umpheoness-are-you-okay?source=share

If you don’t understand, I’ll explain. Pheoness is in her office. She is going through a whole inner conflict questioning her thoughts toward her business associates, especially Handler and has a panic attack. Agent Pheonix sees this and goes to comfort her. When asking what’s wrong, she shows him something she’s never showed anyone. Writing in invisible ink on her office wall. The writing suggests she keeps track of her Handlers. It is revealed that this Handler wasn’t her first one, in fact, he’s her 8th! The rest of her Handlers quit or moved on. Phoenix finally understands why she’s so uptight and hugs her, telling her that he thinks that Handler really cares about her. Pheoness, not being used to physical touch, takes a while before she sincerely returns the affection. (The last panel was a joke and not actually canon) Operation: Winter Break

This is the first mission where both Pheonix and Pheoness both do the mission. They immediately had to fight for Zor’s chair and playfully annoyed eachother before getting back on Handler for the whole “vacation” thing, they make him extremely concerned by burning down most things in the lodge. They find Zoe’s weapon and destroy it with the crystals. Another successful mission

FIRST CLASS VACATION:

Both Pheonix and Pheoness didn’t believe him when Handler told them he got them a vacation on a train in India, but they were overjoyed when they found out it was real. Just the two of them, chilling on a train…but..why are Zor’s guards stopping the train? They hear about the Ex-Zor employee and help her get the pardon she needs. While taking sips of tea at the worst times, they defeat the Zoraxis employees. To be honest, both of them were happy that the Ex-Zor employee was able to survive the whole ideal. When they found out they had to pay for their “all expense vacation” Pheoness was going to yell at Handler in Spanish again, but keeps her cool to everyones surprise.

Between FIRST CLASS VACATION and Seat of Power

Between these 2 missions are another comic I made. If you don’t understand it, I’ll explain. Pheoness notices Handler has been having patterns of staying up all night to do work. Concerned, she points to him. They have a little discussion and she realizes Handlers job is not the luxury she thinks it is. Feeling guilty, she apologized for her yelling and mocking him in previous missions. Handler forgives her and he finally gets some rest. While this is happening, Pheonix peeps his head through the door to see what they’re doing and is happy when they see the two getting along.

Seat Of Power:

Only Pheonix is doing this mission. After a whole minute of pretending to be Zor on his throne, he’s able to get the plans for the death ray. From the elevator, Pheonix and Handler and Pheoness (who are listening in) hear Hivemind and his bees. Phoenix, being the innocent child he is, wants to see the cute little bees. Unfortunately, Hivemind’s bees are very mean and almost kill Pheonix. This makes Pheoness hate Hivemind even more. But even with that setback, they get the info on Zor’s death ray.

(I’ll leave the last mission for another post)

Also, here’s some doodles that basically sum up this post.

Okay, hear me out

Soooooo…I saw @stellar-collective ‘s last Ollie in the agency comic and AAAAAAAAAAH

SOFT. AUTUMM. REGINESS🍁🍂🥰

I also used Stellar’s art style for them cause it looks softer😍😍😍

Iykyk

I swear I remember being so happy in the credits that I got to listen to Reginald’s story in the credits of 3, but then ROXANNA interrupted and even though her little speech was heartwarming, I was so devastated to not hear Reggie’s story WHY DONT YOU TRUST CHICKENS ANYMORE😭

Reginald: *in the middle of a long winded story that has nothing to do with the mission*

Agent Phoenix: ...

Reginald: ...

Agent Phoenix: hey? Why'd you stop talking?

Reginald: oh... I thought I might be boring you.

Agent Phoenix: don't be silly. I love hearing your stories.

Reginald: *tearing up* you do? No one's ever said that to me before.