Im Not Dying You Are

what's that comic book say, 'endure and survive'?

Need a Harry Castillo fic based off of million dollar man by Lana del Rey RNNN

Fanfiction isn’t enough I need my favorite much older and traumatized fictional man to literally break my pelvis

PEDRO PASCAL ⏤ The SAG-AFTRA Foundation Conversations series with Pedro Pascal, Billy Crudup, Matthew Macfadyen, and Kieran Culkin

help pls (fictional men need writing)

soooo i lowk wanna post a fanfic that’s been sitting in my notes for about a year and a half, but it’s not done, and it has nothing to do w Pedro or Joel (it’s mark watney from the Martian). Should I post it? There’s ten chapters btw.

Ok but Pedro Pascal-

*internally screaming* according to my friends, *externally swinging my legs whenever I see a pic of him and smiling like a little kid.*

I’m really bored, so I’m going to write a crappy fanfic of Joel at some point soon. Dunno if itll have a title until I finish it but yeah.

I feel like retraumatizing myself today, so here’s a little blurb I wrote

TW: Joel’s death (offscreen)

summary: you’re all alone again.

you sat at your kitchen island, fiddling with the engagement ring Joel had found on a patrol in Cody. the small clock on the cream walls ticked, filling the quiet air. Joel was supposed to be back hours ago.

“shit,, you mumbled, and looked toward the door. standing up, you grabbed your travel bag, and opened the door, only freeing before you stepped out. in front of you stood Tommy, his hand raised to knock.

“goin’ somewhere?,, he asked quietly. his eyes were reddened, and he looked exhausted and emotionally drained. you tilted your head slowly.

“where’s Joel?,, you mumbled. Tommy sighed, his breath shaky, and looked down. he looked back up at you, and shook his head slowly.

“i’m so sorry,,

you knew what he meant. but that was impossible. Joel was always the most careful on patrols. like he did five years ago taking Ellie to those goddamn fireflies, he always took the highest precautions.

“that ain’t funny, Tommy.,, you breathed. Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but you put up a hand.

“get the hell off my property,, you hissed. Tommy started saying your name, but you cut him off, slamming the door in his face. Crumbling to the ground, you hid your face in your hands, sobs racking your body. For what seemed like forever, you sat against the door, holding yourself. Eventually, you moved to you and Joel’s shared bedroom, putting on his flannel and smelling the woodsy, cologne like scent that was left on it. Joel. Your Joel. Gone.

The next morning, you woke up, your eyes cracking open after being basically glued together by tears. You thought it was just a bad dream, and reached to the other side of the bed to hug your husband.

but he wasn’t there.

i hate when i get a like and it’s sexysingledad69 and not ultraviolincefawn444

dbf boyfriend! Joel (I need this man)

dbf boyfriend Joel because he’d hold you tight when you got nightmares. He’d whisper sweet nothings, saying “it’s okay, I’m here, there ain’t nothin’ tha’s gonna hurt you here.” In that soothing southern drawl, drowsiness from waking up becoming obvious through his gravelly voice

dbf boyfriend Joel because when you finally tell your parents about your relationship, he’d defend you, saying “obviously, we didn’t mean for this to happen, but we wouldn’t o’ done it if it wasn’t somethin’ real.”

dbf boyfriend Joel because when he comes home from a long day at his contracting gig, he’d find you in the kitchen and wrap his arms around your waist and kiss right behind your ear, asking you about your day when he’s bone tired and in need of a massage.

this is my first time doing something like this so pls if you have suggestions/requests/tips im all ears <333

I’m so fucking done with TLOU S2. Fuck Craig Mazin. Fuck Neil Druckmann.

Spoilers and a shit load of swears ahead.

What the fuck do you mean that Joel tried to fucking get up? The fuck do you mean that Abby STABBED HIM IN THE NECK WITH THAT FUCKING GOLF CLUB?

Ellie should have killed that motherfucker. I sobbed last night. SOBBED. MY EYES ARE SORE. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH CRYING THAT TAKES???

I don’t know if I can finish this season. I really don’t know. And I might take a detox off of tumblr for a couple days. I’m not sure. I’m genuinely mourning, and that might sound fucking dramatic, but Joel Miller was the first character I actually truly loved. Not because he’s handsome, in a “omg so cute haha silly” way. In a way that I loved his story, and his dynamic with Ellie. I loved actually playing as him. Seeing him die like that was so fucking messed up.