Trying To Get A Fitted Sheet Onto A Mattress Is The Hardest Thing I've Ever Had To Do.

Put that guy into interval notation.

“you talk like a smart/pretentious person” actually I just forget simple words constantly and am forced to rummage through my brain for the nearest synonym, which is usually twice as long and needlessly specific

“Eat it, she says. It’s knowledge. From dead cultures. It’s also blood.”

— Alice Notley, from ‘Songs and Stories of the Ghouls’

I don't understand people's surprise when they find out I am stronger than I appear. I work with machines, I train pokémon, I have hobbies that require heavy-lifting. My lanky figure comes from... other things. Not weakness.

Come get your rabies shot.

Star-forming Regions in Orion Nebula ©

As an ex-cult leader I think I was pretty good at it.

the Satellite Cluster in the Rosette Nebula

NGC 2244

Can I pack a small cardboard box and put a plant and desk lamp in it.

i'm the boss i'm in charge