108 posts
Latest Posts by akerkukareku - Page 4
Janet Fitch, White Oleander // Charles Bukowski, Ham on Rye // Gail Carson Levine, "Fairest" // Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters // Hieu Minh Nguyen, "Pig" // Valentina-Remenar on DeviantArt // Ashe Vernon, Not A Girl
John, cradling Paul’s face lovingly: hey. I spilled superglue on my hands
Not the bingo I wanted to collect but okay
As someone who falls into 3 of these categories, I feel very called out by my own meme 😅
(Edit: Moved the alt text into the image description.)
you ever say something rude accidentally because your neurodivergent and don’t know that it’s rude so you get in trouble for it but then someone who’s neurotypical says the exact same thing but it’s okay because they *meant* it?? Like what??
i wanna go back and hug my younger self so bad, that little girl went through so much
i don’t know which autistic/adhd/any kind of neurodivergent person needs to hear this but: make a “just in case” bag
this is a pic of mine. it contains:
loop earplugs on the zipper
prescription glasses with a clip on sunglasses attachment
my public transport discount card
a pen
a glasses cloth + wet glasses wipes (which can also be used to clean my hands if needed!
wireless earbuds in case my headphones give out
tips for my apple pencil + silicon covers if i need a different texture/the sound is too loud
a sanitary pad (not for me, as i had a hysterectomy, but i like carrying one around for my menstruating friends)
a pouch with hair ties for when my hair bothers me
autism lanyard (not pictured, as i put it in after i took it)
will i use these every day? not necessarily. but it’s good to have these all in one place in a little pouch so it’s easy to throw into my bag as i use different ones for different occasions. that way i don’t have to think about all these things individually.
it might seem like common sense for some people, but i didn’t think of this until recently. so i wanted to share this in case it could be handy for other people. some more ideas for what to put in your bag under the break. you can make this as big or as small as you like so some ideas may seem a bit big
powerbank + cables (preferably a powerbank that has a LOT of charge)
snacks (do keep an eye on the expiration date)
painkillers/emergency meds (same thing about the expiration date)
sewing kit
deodorant/perfume
mini fan
hand warmers
scissors/nail clippers (for when tags/threads/your nails are bothering you)
tweezers
lucky charm (i have my lucky cat keychain. it just calms me to have)
plushie/stress ball/fidget toy
mints/a mini toothbrush and toothpaste
extra pair of underwear (for if you suddenly need to stay somewhere overnight or if an accident happens)
comb
band-aids + disinfectant
hand cream/soothing cream
soap/soap leaves
similarly, some mini shampoo or mini body wash (again for if you suddenly need to stay the night. there’s probably already some wherever you’re staying but again. this is a just in case bag)
q-tips
chapstick
makeup remover wipes
razors
hand sanitizer/general sanitizer
wet wipes/tissues
foldable bag
ruler/tape measure
this is a lot but keep in mind, these are just ideas. you don’t have to use everything, just pick out which things you think would be handy for you and make your bag accordingly. do feel free to add onto the list if you have any other ideas.
Sorry for being a bitch earlier, I needed to lay in the dark with my headphones for 3 hours to feel better
it sometimes sucks being considered smart while also being neurodivergent. they've set up such high expectations for me and when i inevitably can't reach them because of the fact my brain literally works differently they get disappointed.
Real talk why does social interaction feel like you’re trying to get a good grade in being a person
neurodivergent people feeling more comfortable living abroad because ~ here i have an excuse for not always: getting & acting according to cultural/social norms; understanding people/cues; relating to people/"universal" experiences; honestly being just a bit off (relative to nt expectations)
~ is that something
now and then, 2023
wikipedia / john’s version, handwritten / genius / @m1ssunderstanding / hey jude / get back documentary / the guardian
fuck dating apps i wanna meet the old fashioned way (he watches me play at a fête and then i invite him into my band which leads to a 23 year long psychosexual obsession with him)
i know her… she’s me
It’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, but the Alan Turing poster really tells us so much about Will that I consider it to be a significant piece of foreshadowing for S5.
First, let’s dissuade ourselves of the notion that Will chose Turing for his hero project for nerd reasons – Will’s preferred flavour of nerdery is escapist fantasy, not computer science. He doesn’t know what an IP address is and the first thing he thinks of when he hears modem noises is a movie he likes.
No, he chose Turing because he admires him for being a gay man who accomplished so much in his short life.
On one hand, that’s pretty heart-warming – the fact he’s willing to identify with other gay men and look up to them as role models shows us he’s making good progress in accepting his identity. On the other hand, it’s heart-breaking, because Turing’s story is not a happy one – he was caught having a sexual relationship with a man and forced to choose between jail or chemical castration. He chose castration.
I remind you: Will identifies with this guy.
Will is growing up under the twin specters of AIDS and homophobia and likely assumes he’s destined to die young too. He’s been abused and bullied so much, I imagine he’s heard and internalized it all: that he deserves to die, that he’s disgusting, that he’ll never be fulfilled in life.
So when puberty begins crawling its way inside him and implants those shameful desires that make gay men so worthy of abuse… he chooses castration.
For all the sad pining he does in S4, we never really see Will express desire for Mike – he never checks him out or shows signs of nervousness when they touch. He behaves with perfect platonic decorum at all times…
…unless we consider That One Scene With The Hose.
Sexual interpretations of this scene are controversial, and I can understand why; we’re so used to seeing Will as this innocent, immature little boy that it’s shocking to catch him fantasizing so lustfully, even though these sorts of thoughts are pretty normal for a 15 year-old. But I think that’s the point. We’re supposed to feel uncomfortable about this, because Will feels uncomfortable about it too.
He’s done well in accepting his identity, but he’s an absolute repressed mess when it comes to accepting his sexuality.
So, that’s what the Turing poster tells us about Will. Here’s where the foreshadowing comes in: Will is not the only queer-coded character to have been metaphorically castrated.
Henry’s experience bears striking similarities to Turing’s: he too was caught engaging in a natural but forbidden behaviour and forced by his government to undergo a medical procedure to suppress that behaviour.
His villain speech to El in 4x07, which is ostensibly about his powers, also reads very strongly as a scathing criticism of heteronormativity, and it’s covered in rainbow motifs.
The metaphor here is obvious: Henry’s powers are a manifestation of his homosexuality.
Which implies that Will’s homosexuality can also manifest as powers. They’re repressed because he’s repressed.
It’s not a coincidence that the sexual tension was through the fucking roof in the infamous sauna scene. Every time Will’s supernatural ability to sense the Mind Flayer triggers in S3, Mike is also nearby.
What’s interesting about Mike is that his queer acceptance issues mirror Will’s: Mike has a healthy relationship with his sexuality (he casually checks guys out and plasters his bedroom walls with posters of buff dudes) but he just can’t bring himself to accept what this implies about his identity.
Always with the symmetry, these two. They complement each other perfectly; one’s hang-up is the other’s strength. They have a lot to teach each other about being queer.
And as repressed as they are, I think they want to learn from each other – Will lets himself get flustered when Mike flirts with him in his bedroom, and Mike hangs on to every word of wisdom Will shares with him in their heart-to-hearts.
Internalized homophobia is a powerful force, but their bond is so strong that it empowers them to fight back.
Henry’s powers symbolize his anger at being mistreated and his desire to take that anger out on the world… but Will’s powers symbolize self-acceptance and love.
So he isn’t just going to defeat Vecna with his powers, and he isn’t just going to get the boy: these two things are one and the same.