Chapters: 4/? Fandom: The Secret History - Donna Tartt Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To

Harry time travels to the past (no specific ship)

(Or in most of these cases, to his first year at Hogwarts)

✨ Another Chance / 57k / Harry leaves the white limbo of King's Cross to find himself in his childhood cupboard once again. Luckily for him, it seems he's brought Ron and Hermione back with him, and with his best friends at his side he can do anything.

The Golden Trio take Hogwarts by storm, a bit more jaded and ruthless than before and determined to undermine the war before it ever truly starts.

✨ Oh God Not Again! / 151k / So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.

✨ family and other wonders / 124k / Harry was supposed to pick- move on and be with his parents, or go back to finish the battle with Voldemort. But even Dumbledore doesn't know everything, and Harry finds that there are actually a lot more options than those two.

Harry wants more than what he got. He wants a home. He wants a family. He wants a chance to be happy. He isn't sure he deserves all that, but he's going to try anyway. If only to spite Dumbledore and Voldemort's plans both.

OR: Harry Potter wakes up ten years old but with all of his memories from age seventeen. He immediately begins to make Mistakes.

✨ Another Chance / 244k / Harry willingly walks to face Voldemort for one last time. The moment the Killing Curse hits, he wakes up the day after he and Hermione traveled through time. Gifted this chance, Harry sets out to learn about about what has been denied to him since he lost his parents. Along the way he makes new friends, learns new magic, and carves out his place in the wizarding world.

✨ Harry Potter and the Ticket Backwards / 78k / When the most powerful magics collide due to Harry Potter's desperate, last sacrifice, he creates for himself a chance to fix up the wrongs in his world. Yet going back in time isn't everything that he expected: Voldemort is a threat, but it is Harry himself who no longer fits comfortably in the world. Time has changed him, he just hasn't yet figured out how.

✨ Everything Black / 67k /

If you had a chance to do it over again, make things better, would you take it?

or

Harry fakes it 'til he makes it.

OR

Harry -somehow- accidentally goes back in time.

✨ Square One / 59k / When Harry dies in the Forbidden Forest, he expected not to wake up. Much less wake up in his childhood cupboard, and even less expected was the letter from his friends confirming it wasn't just him starting over at square one.

Time-Travel fix it where the golden trio get sent back to first year! Starts on the day of Dudleys birthday! Sorry for all of the head cannons!!

Heavily inspired by Arkodian's series "What goes around comes around"!

✨ The Walking Paradox / 57k /

This was a bad dream.

It had to be. It must be a nightmare, purgatory, something. Anything, anything at all except for what his sneaking suspicions were saying.

There was no way – there was no way – Harry James Potter had been hit by the Killing Curse and promptly been transported back in time.

And yet.

(Yet another time travel fix-it fic - except it isn't a power fantasy.) (though those are good, too)

A Deep Dive into JKR's Terrible, Amateur Writing - Part Two

Welcome to my ballsy series where I will prove to you, dear reader, that J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and resident Twitter TERF, is actually a very, very poor writer.

And when I say ‘poor writer,’ I’m talking about her prose, her sentence structure, and her scenes. I am not going to discuss anything about the HP world nor the overall plot of the books. 

This is all about the nitty gritty in the craft of writing itself.

Part One Link.

Disclaimer for all readers of this series: 

I’m going to sound very confident in my posts where I work under the assumption I’m a better writer than JKR; because I am. My apologies if this rubs you the wrong way. You’re simply witnessing the culmination of over two and half decades of experience with the intensity from a neurodivergent who is hyperfocused on her special interest. I didn’t just learn how to create stories; I learned the craft of writing to a minutia of details.

I’m not a perfect writer. No one is. I’m not a talented writer either. I’m experienced and skilled through years of study and practice.

I don’t care about J.K. Rowling. At all.

If you’re triggered by the concept and fact that JKR is a terrible crafter of writing, then you might want to take a step back and self reflect on that personal issue.

I still very much love and adore Harry Potter; you’re still allowed to love Harry Potter.

This is not a series to bitch or bash. This isn’t a shitpost. This isn’t an attack on JKR, no matter the disgusting bullshit she spews forth on Twitter. However, my hope is people awaken to the fact that JKR isn’t the goddess of writing we’ve all been led to believe.

This is a place of study and learning, where the purpose is to help students gain critical thinking skills and writing analysis tools to become better in their craft.

And, sorry, one more disclaimer for this specific post: 

Fanfiction is written for fun and is posted for free. I put most of my effort into my main fanfic, Terrible, But Great. (Yes, I intend to update Moon Rite soon, too) However, I also have two fanfics that are cowritten with another author; thus, the style of Shall I Stay and Badger Prey are understandably different. I spend three to four times the hours to edit a chapter versus drafting it. My process for fanfiction: I draft. I do one expansion edit. I do one proofread edit. I post.

However, if I were to publish a novel where people are expected to drop money on said book, my work flow would be vastly more extensive. To be clear, I’d do all of the following myself. I would not outsource. My process for published novels: I would draft. I would do three to four expansion edits. I would do two to three cutting edits. I would do three proofread edits. 

See the difference?

Because I don’t go through a cutting edit for my fanfiction, I’ll often come back later and see things I think are weak. I’m constantly seeing where I can tighten my work. There’s always room for improvement.

Remember: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is a paperback book that costs $10. My fanfics are free. If I, someone who writes for free and puts what she considers the bare minimum of effort into them, have a higher standard in the quality of my writing than a paid traditionally published novelist, there’s a problem here. 

All right, with that nonsense out of the way, buckle up, my writing friends. Grab a snack. Hydrate. Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Let’s begin.

Class is in session.

In this post, we’re going to discuss these five pages from HP5 and dissect one paragraph and a line from page 731. All dialogue is highlighted in blue.

(My favorite book in the series, btw. I fucking love fifth year the most. JKR did a damn good job with Umbridge.)

Since a certain anon lacked the skill to comprehend the difference between too much dialogue and stories driven by a high saturation of dialogue, let's go into further depth about dialogue.

What did I mean last week when I said: "Too much fucking dialogue!"

Today’s lesson will focus on the overall issue in JKR’s dialogue and in the prose surrounding those dialogue lines.

And since, apparently, I “lack the self awareness” to know most of my fics are “oversaturated with dialogue,” I’m going to use weaker examples of my own writing. Chapter 24 of TBG is heavily driven by dialogue with twenty-one named characters to juggle, something that's very difficult for me to manage. Though the chapter is lovely, I do feel it's some of my weaker work. In the end, I just didn’t have the energy to edit it a second time nor go through cutting edit.

Here are three different pages (some connected, some not) from Chapter 24 of Terrible, But Great. All dialogue is highlighted in blue.

You can already see the difference, I'm sure.

So, what’s the difference between a scene that has 'too much fucking dialogue' versus a scene that is highly saturated with dialogue?

Because there is one.

Let's set the scene for HP5. In the middle of an OWL exam, Harry received a vision from Voldemort, showing him that Sirius has been captured. He's being tortured to get something from a shelf, but Sirius refuses. Harry believes the vision is real. He tells Ron and Hermione, then asks for their advice on how to rescue Sirius. Ron and Hermione are both like, pardon, wtf, sir? (As they should be.)

We have five pages of this fight between them. These five pages are mostly dialogue with very little else surrounding it.

Also, note the final page where it has the worst sins of adverb usage. That page is what triggered me to begin writing this series in the first place, btw.

There's too much dialogue here. There's no description. I'm being told stuff, but I'm not being shown anything. There are no emotional anchors to Harry either. The more I reread this scene, the more I realized what was wrong.

There’s an emotional disconnect from Harry in the prose.

Do not misunderstand me: it is NOT to say that Harry isn’t emotional here. It's that the prose doesn’t grip me, the reader, by the chest and twist my heart with his overwhelming emotions. The prose doesn't prove anything, doesn't show me anything. This is an intense, terrifying moment for Harry. It should feel visceral. It should feel tangible. I should be able to taste his fear.

We also don’t get too much information about the emotional states of Ron and Hermione. We have hints, of course. But we can’t feel them. The emotions of the scene are dampened, muffled, dull even.

With an untrained eye, you might disagree. It's okay. You'll see what I mean soon.

Page 731 exact quote:

"I dunno how," said Harry. "But I know exactly where. There's a room in the Department of Mysteries full of shelves covered in these little glass balls, and they're at the end of row ninety-seven...He's trying to use Sirius to get whatever it is he wants from in there....He's torturing him....Says he'll end by killing him..." Harry found his voice shaking, as were his knees. He moved over to a desk and sat down on it, trying to master himself.

(Btw, punctuation issue: you do not use an ellipsis and a period together and there should be a space after the ellipsis.)

This is the only instance in the five pages where we get any information about Harry's physical state.

And it's written in such a weak 'telling' instead of 'showing' way, too.

How and where was his voice shaking? How are his knees shaking? Are they knocking together in a weird way that's kind of physically improbable? Or was it actually his legs were shaking? Isn't he leaning against the door? If his weight was resting against the door, then there'd be less shaking in his knees or legs because his knees would be locked to brace his body against the door. His arms and hands would be shaking, though.

How does Harry master himself? What does that look like? Slow breaths? Running a hand through his hair? Rubbing his face and eyes? How is Harry mastering himself? Is it mentally? Then, where are those mastering thoughts? What are they and why do those thoughts in particular help Harry 'master' himself?

What's Harry's tone as he talking about Voldemort threatening to kill Sirius? How is Harry feeling about this? Give me MORE!

The dialogue is presented to the reader in a bland, empty fashion. Harry is relating something to Ron and Hermione. I could switch the dialogue out with anything and it'd still make sense.

There is little surrounding the dialogue to anchor it.

So, let's rewrite this, shall we?

"I dunno how," said Harry, letting out a shaky breath. His hands clenched into fists against the door of the classroom. "But I know where—they're in a room in the Department of Mysteries that's filled with rows of shelves holding these... weird little glass balls. They're in row ninety-seven. Voldemort, he's—" Harry's voice broke. His breath caught in his throat. The memory of the vision returned full force into his mind, the image of Sirius on the floor at Voldemort's feet stark in his mind. He ducked his chin; his chest inhaled in a desperate breath and the edges of his eyes burned. He's torturing Sirius—I can't just wait around. I can't lose him. Harry looked up at Ron, whose face had grown pale, while Hermione stared at him with wide, terrified eyes. The strength in Harry's legs weakened. "He needs Sirius to get whatever it is he wants and he's—" Harry sucked in a gasp, his voice trembling like an autumn leaf in a thunderstorm. "—he's torturing Sirius... says he'll kill him in the end." His knees buckled. Harry stumbled to the nearest desk; Ron reached out with a steadying hand on Harry's upper arm and silent gratitude filled Harry's heart. With shaky arms, Harry lifted himself onto the desk to sit and twisted around to face Ron and Hermione. He licked his dry lips, rubbed his eyes with a hand, and took slow, deep breaths to master his fraying emotions.

The original canon text has 57 words of dialogue with a total of 83 words.

My rewritten version uses 56 words of dialogue with a total of 247 words.

I'm going to drill this concept into your heads, my lovely students: this is what I mean when I keep saying JKR's writing is both bloated and underwritten.

I only rewrote a single paragraph and its following line. The five pages I've provided are filled with this kind of empty dialogue.

So, what have I done here? Can you see the difference? Can you feel the difference?

Let's analyze what I focused on in this scene to show Harry's body language and his thoughts. I upped the physical effects on Harry's body. His fear causes his voice to break in the middle of explaining what's going on. He's terrified of losing Sirius, the only father figure he's ever known. Voldemort might take another parental figure from him. 

And now the prose reflects these feelings, not just in his thoughts, but also in how he speaks and reacts to what is around him. He is not just speaking at the reader.

Harry exists in his world. 

And you can feel it.

When he stumbles to the desk, Ron is there for him. Hermione reacting could also be added here. There is a lot that can be added to this scene, if one wanted to expand this further. 

Yes, what I've done has increased the word count, yet it strengthens this short moment—and I'd do this for the entire scene.

What I did to the scene is merely one version of its potential. It could be rewritten in a multitude of ways and go in various directions. I spent 10mins to 20mins on it. I haven't edited it or refined it.

Can you finally see what I mean now?

If you compare the highlighted pages of HP5 to the highlighted pages of Chp 24 of TBG, you can visually see the difference in the density of the dialogue. JKR is the one whose writing is oversaturated with dialogue. My writing will always be highly saturated with dialogue because my stories are character driven. I prefer stories like that. But I also need the dialogue to be interesting and engaging, where the character feels alive in their world.

When I say there's too much dialogue, this scene is such a good example of this because Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all over the place in their interactions with each other. Yes, you want your characters to sound realistic, but you're also the author curating an experience for the reader.

There's a balancing tightrope act between having realistic dialogue and unnecessary dialogue.

There's a thin line between showing too much and telling too little.

Lastly, if I were to improve the overall scene, I would center the focus on Harry's desperation to rescue Sirius. As Ron and Hermione try to talk him out of it, where Hermione delivers that iconic line of 'you have a people saving thing,' I'd have Harry explode with something like this:

"You don't know what's it like! You both have your parents—I-I don't... You'd feel the same as me if it were either of your parents being tortured by Voldemort, yeah? I can't lose him—I can't lose Sirius."

I'm not bothering with description around it right now. I just wanted to give the baseline dialogue to show you the theme I'd carry through this scene. It's all about Sirius. It's all about the fear of losing him. It's about showing the emotion of the character and making the reader feel that deeply.

And that's what matters the most.

All right then.

We have come to an end of Part Two in this series. We have discussed fives pages in JKR's Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The pages in question are 731 - 735 should you wish to look it up and study the scene yourself.

And so, please do the world the greatest of favors and write better than J.K. Rowling. I promise, it's not that hard once you see the differences.

Until next time.

Isa

I’m rereading Prisioner of Azkaban and I can’t with the fact that this boy offering to make some tea cause that’s what his mom does when someone’s upset…like, c’mere, let me give you a hug

Ron’s love language is one hundred percent acts of service tho

Thank you, I had a great time!

🐍 Slither In Fest Masterlist

Huge thank you to all of our talented participants! We love and appreciate all your enthusiasm for bottom Tom | Voldemort content in this fandom. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Here is a list of all our fantastic entries this year! (Please comment here if you don't see your Tumblr @'ed, so we can add it!)

💚 Karma’s a bitch by @albondiguilla007 4,130 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom betrays Harry. Harry’s not happy about it.

💚 Resonating Souls by @endlessburningdarkness 4,063 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Minister Riddle has an unusually dream filled night.

💚 To Corrupt a Unicorn by beanclip 4,766 | Completed | E | Ship: Tom Riddle/Hepzibah Smith, Tom Riddle/Original Male Character(s)

Blood, fear, and ancient, untouched books. Amortentia.

💚 To be Entwined by @cyandenial 5,055 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Harry and Tom grew up together, and it's more than just a brotherly bond that connected them.

💚 as sweet as blood red jam by @cindle-writes 4,974 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom meets Harry for the first time at a Ministry function that Tom’s attending as Minister Diggory’s plus-one.

💚 delicatus by @cindle-writes 4,974 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Lord Voldemort is an instructive Lord-Father-God-Master-Papa.

💚 forgive me father by @cindle-writes 2,396 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom sneaks into his father’s bed and touches himself while Harry lies sleeping next to him, unawares.

💚 Pink Shorts by @crowcrowcrowthing 5,574 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Tom was very good at pilates. Harry had a problem with that.

💚 Aliquot (sequel to Pink Shorts) by @crowcrowcrowthing, @cindle-writes 4,644 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Harry and Tom continue fucking on every available surface.

💚 synoptic by @duplicitywrites 1,380 | WIP | E | Ship: Tom Riddle/Tom Riddle

Fifty years in isolation is enough to drive anyone a bit mad.

💚 Is It Baby Trapping if I Didn’t Actually Want to Trap You? by @dearestdo3 12,398 | WIP | M | Ship: Orion Black/Tom Riddle, Walburga Black/Orion Black, Walburga Black/Tom Riddle

Tom Riddle just wanted to scam Lord Black so he'll have enough money to run away from Wizarding Britain for good.

💚 french affair by @heyob 2,693 | Completed | E | Ship: Rodolphus Lestrange/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Rodolphus Lestrange was willing to do anything to avoid getting married, even if he has to get caught fucking the Dark Lord.

💚 Premium Pussy by @hopeforthewitch 3,200 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom shouldn't, but he has favourites, case in point: James Black.

💚 Fake Boyfriend by J0305 2,432 | WIP | M | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom needs a boyfriend, and Harry is the perfect one for him.

💚 Taking Feet Pics Is Serious Business by Just_praises 2,151 | WIP | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom didn't think selling feet pics would end up sustaining his entire livelihood.

💚 Slow Soak by @lyceana 1,431 | WIP | E | Ship: Rubeus Hagrid/Tom Riddle, Whomping Willow/Tom Riddle

These tender roots need to soak in water. They'll slowly grow, but it will be worth the wait, or this it what he's praying for.

💚 Your Wish, My Command by @moontearpensfic 3,987 | WIP | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom wants to deepen his relationship with his father. If only his "mother" wasn't in the way…

💚 throne sex by @zolpidem105 Art | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Voldemort

harry potter is an undercover auror. voldemort is lord voldemort.

💚 family friends by @reggieblk 12,279 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Harry had always considered Tom to be a little brother of sorts.

💚 Make a wish by @sri-verse 2,664 | WIP | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Horcrux/Harry Potter

An attempt to fulfill an innocent childhood wish of a gold cauldron has some unforeseen consequences for Harry James Potter.

💚 i wanna have sex with you (your sweet caress won't do) by @ujiin 8,061 | Completed | E | Ship: Tom Riddle/Tom Riddle Sr.

Tom Sr is horrified to find out that his son is the lowest of the low in society.

💚 compromising positions by @virgil-anon 2,294 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

He was Tom Riddle! (He was Tom Potter) ((He was Lord Voldemort))

💚 An Abundance of Riddles by Anonymous 1,223 | WIP | E | Ship: Tom Riddle | Voldemort/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

November 1st, 1981, Tom Riddle wakes up in the cave and learns that he used to be the Locket Horcrux.

💚 Time in a Whiskey Bottle by Anonymous 5,401 | Completed | E | Ship: Rubeus Hagrid/Tom Riddle

Stripper Tom & Rubeus Hagrid fall in love at the club.

💚 Ride it Like It's Quidditch by Anonymous 2,163 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Tom hates Harry and plans on making him kneel.

THIS IS BIBLICALLY ACCURATE PERIODT

Headcanon ❗ (but real to me)

The Golden Trio are very affectionate friends. Like annoyingly so.

Always reaching out for a high five or a pat on the back. Arms around shoulders. Greeting with a hug. Harry gives great neck massages. Ron likes to sit shoulder to shoulder. Hermione guides them around with a hand on their lower back (and so they don't wander off).

Ron taps Harry on the ass whenever he walks by. Hermione trims their hair during the school year because she insists it does a better job than magic. Harry could fall asleep anywhere and regularly dozes off in class with his head on one of their shoulders.

If they're sitting at a table together, chances are their legs are all tangled together underneath or stacked like pancakes. Hermione holds onto their arms when they walk through a crowd. Ron props his chin atop their heads when he stands behind them.

I’m not the biggest fan of Jegulus, but damn, this art is breathtaking 💗

I never wanna leave your love

Is it socially acceptable to write gay smut stories on english class?

I mean

I’m practicing my english?

Update

Is it acceptable to write a Drarry fic before Church starts? With my mom right there besides me?

Lord help us all

i think truly seeing tomarry as equals means they both can be the big spoon 😤

Have you read Inevitabilities by EclipseWing?it's a Tom and Harry attend Hogwarts together but not time travel it's an awesome fic! A time travel fic that I love is Game On,Your Move by Ailora!

Hellooooo! Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t see this message sooner!

I haven’t read Inevitabilities before, but I’ll definitely give it a try. Game On, Your Move is that one fic where Tom thinks Harry is planning to kiss him instead of killing him isn’t it?

It’s hilarious, hot, and Tom is so stupidly gone for Harry hahaha. He’s like, how on Earth could anyone not be attracted to me? Specially this beautiful green-eyed boy??? He should be attracted to me! I am attracted to him, never mind he wanted to kill me!

Anyways, thank you for the recs 🙏🏻

My favorite Hogwarts Eighth Year Drarry fics

Part l

✨ A Dented Old Street Sign / 27k / Draco knows they aren't the only students who will be completing their NEWTs this year, but they are the only ones whose home fireplaces were disconnected from the floo network by the ministry.

At least, Draco assumes as much until he sees the light falling out from the front door of one of the other rickety old houses in front of them and the three figures cast in its warm glow. For a moment they look like some sort of strange, many legged creature. An acromantula, or a particularly massive Blast-Ended Skrewt. Then Draco hears Pansy make a disgusted sound beside him and the light falls in a less blinding way, and Draco can see that it is actually Potter and the Weasel carrying a large couch between them, and Granger fluttering around them with her wand out, seeming concerned.

✨ Inside Your Mind / 36k / Goyle's taken it upon himself to act as Malfoy's personal, one-man guard and Harry can't help but feel like it's only making the bullying worse.

✨ knickers in a twist / 86k / Draco loses a bet to Pansy and Blaise which leaves him wearing a skirt for a whole week. Harry discovers something about himself.

✨ The Nightmare Club / 85k / Hermione and Ron are going back to Hogwarts to do N.E.W.T.s, Ginny isn't. Harry hasn't decided, until he has, in front of the Wizengamot and now he's responsible for Malfoy as well. A tale of enemies who learn to get along, get it wrong and get it on. Everything is purple, some things are on fire and no-one is sleeping properly. But don't worry, there's tea!

✨ Two to Lie and One to Listen / 84k / It’s weird when Hermione announces that she and Ron have broken up. It’s weirder when this is followed by the revelation that she’s already moved on—and the new object of her affections is Draco Malfoy.

Things only get worse from there.

(A drarry fic featuring fake dating, jealousy and bad choices.)

✨ Love, Pain, and Guitar Strings / 303k / Harry had to do something with his time in the summer after the war, especially since he couldn't sleep. Finding Sirius's old guitar and learning to play solved that problem. Now if only he could solve the problem of Draco Malfoy always seeming to find him when he played it. Or the problem of how he definitely didn't want him to leave when he did.

Draco got lucky, he knew that - really. He was going back to Hogwarts instead of Azkaban. Now if only he could really find the freedom everyone kept telling him had. And if Potter could stop looking and sounding so damned good playing that guitar it would really help him do that.

An 8th-year fic about healing old wounds, gaining new skills, and learning what's most important.

✨ In Deep Water / 39k / Draco Malfoy returned to Hogwarts tall and tense and in love with Neville Longbottom.

✨ A Wizard’s Guide to Co-Parenting with Your Ex-Nemesis / 38k / Harry had expected a few things when returning for his Eighth Year. Rooming with Ron, a cheeky Firewhisky down at the pub, leaving his assignments to the last minute – those were all but certain to occur.

His list of certainties definitely hadn’t included McGonagall’s shake-up of the curriculum, which tasked the Eighth Years with the responsibility of parenthood for three weeks. Caring for a baby Transfigured from a sack of flour would have been alright if: 1) Malfoy wasn’t Harry’s assigned partner, 2) Their baby’s one goal in life wasn’t to spite Harry, and 3) Malfoy wasn’t infuriatingly good at fake parenthood.

✨ It’s No Great Mystery / 57k / Who on earth decided that bringing back the Yule Ball for their eighth year would be a good idea? It feels like the worst day of Harry’s life, watching everyone get glammed up like the war never happened, like the last Triwizard Tournament wasn’t such a colossal failure.

And then it happens again. And again. And again.

✨ Owl Was Well / 66k / Draco Malfoy is not an owl, really he isn’t. He simply assumes the shape of one on occasion when he wants to find a bit of privacy—a goal entirely thwarted because Harry Potter doesn’t understand you can’t just grab any old bird from the Owlery and force it to send your missives and deliver your packages.

✨ 12 Days of What The Fuck / 26k / When Potter starts paying unusual amounts of attention to Draco as the holidays draw nearer, Draco can't figure out where it's coming from—possibly because he's gone stupid from all the fantastic sex. But what happens when he finds out that there may be another motive behind Potter's sudden interest?

Or: A fic in which Potter is hotter than Draco ever let himself admit, Draco didn't fill out that fucking form, and Pansy may or may not lose all of her hair.