History Is Just Such An Amazing Thing, It Just Helps You Get Closer To Your Own History And Culture And

everything in this life is temporary. except that fandom hyperfixation from when you were 14. that thang will be with you forever there's no escaping.

Woke up this morning and a wave of nostalgia hit me.

Ahhh...the good old days. Good to know I haven't aged a day since the last March 15th I came out of my house and saw the sunlight.

I'll go ahead and say it. THERE IS NO BETTER DUO THAN THE ONE OF A SECRETLY POSSIBLY DANGEROUS MAN BUT SUPER CALM AND CHILL AND HIS BATSHIT MURDEROUS (extra points if she's a vampire) AND EXTREMELY DISTURBING DARK POETIC LOOKING GIRLFRIEND.

And that was the presentation on how most of how my book will 100% evolve. "I will kill you. One day. But right now I really like you. Also, you couldn't hurt a fly, although you def look like you could."

1800s dagger, made in france

In conclusion, Izabelle Lightwood is perfect, and has done nothing wrong, ever.

One word from you and I would jump off of this ledge I'm on, baby

Tell me, "Don't," so I can crawl back in

Today I found myself reading TMI again after being done with studying (ugh, whoever invented exams can burn in hell) and I feel like I keep running out of ways to explain how incredibly copy pasted and close I feel to Alec. Like, yes sure, I love Izzy with every inch of my soul and don't I wish I was like her and Magnus is just such a me vibe in my best days. But Alec has always been my focal point every single time I read Cassandra Clare, and every time I expect to find myself being like "oh shut up" like I often find myself doing when Jace talks, even Clary sometimes, but I just don't.

I find it so unbelievable how the first time I read City of Bones I was around three years younger than Alec in that book and I just couldn't help but think "He's real". Because miss m'am Izzy was killing demons in high heels at sixteen and Jace probably had more girlfriends than I have hair on my head and there was Alec. Trying to beat sense into them, being discarded by Jace the moment Clary came into view. His only friends being his own sister who was his complete opposite and his parabatai who way too foused on being cool than on his own struggles, him trying to hide himself from the Clave out of pure fear that they would exile him and just abandon him in a world full of demons as a mundane like they did to his uncle.

He was the secondary character. The fifth wheel of the cart, as we say in my family. And I could relate to that, because being on the outside and looking on the inside, being aware that you're not enough is something that i've found myself doing all my life ever since I was a toddler. Not too fun. Not too cool. Not too smart. You're just in the middle of it all. Never enough to stand out. Just a blank paper. And I just felt this ache in my heart when I finished that book years ago and I still feel it every time and this boiling rage knowing that this man stood bravely against it all. The fact that he played such an important role in the war, almost as important as Jace and he was still seen as "Jace's parabatai", when this man genuinely changed the law and rebuild every belief of the Clave to make it more humane.

There's just enough words in the dictionary to how many levels I love Alec and to how many levels I am grateful to Cassie for writing him, because who would I violently and brutally relate to if it wasn't Alexander Gideon Lightwood, the Inquisitor of the Clave and the man who loved a man so much he changed the world for him and Magnus's archer boy.

I continue to be obsessed with Clary's commitment to fucking hating Valentine

City of Heavenly Fire in a nutshell.

I can appreciate a man who's normal but I LOVE a man who's comparatively normal. A man who seems like a mess in a vacuum but as soon as you compare them to their friend circle you're like "oh. Oh wow. You're their idea of sensible."