Look At The Pure Sadness In Nina's Face After Her Hands Crashed And She Crushed The Bird Out Of Her Hand

"i want more media with zero drama, no tension, and zero problematic characters and i am not joking"

Great! Here are my recommendations:

In 2015, I compiled a list of innuendos spoken by the different characters in Crash Tag Team Racing. Here they are, though I’m certain now that it’s an incomplete list:

Coco (when clashing): “Hey, not so hard!”

Coco (when destroying an opponent vehicle): “This is why this girl likes big guns.”

Crunch (when starting a race): “Let’s… get… bizzay!”

Crunch (when destroying an opponent vehicle): “Call me daddy!”

Crunch (when picking up an item): “Mmm, lay some, sugah!”

Crunch (when running over a Park Drone): “Not even prison-pretty no more!”

N. Gin (talking to Crash): “Crash, you must point me in the direction of the nearest lavatory. MY ROCKET IS DRAINING!”

N. Gin (talking to Crash): “Crash! We must really stop meeting like this! I told you… only after 10PM… don’t call me here.”

N. Gin (talking to Crash): “Oi Crash! You… didn’t see me with that peacock feather, did you?”

N. Gin (when Crash attacks him): “Ow! That hurt! Thank you.”

N. Gin (when starting a race): “Okay, who thinks they’ve got the marbles?”

N. Gin (brushing against an opponent’s vehicle): “That hurt my colon so much!”

N. Gin (brushing against an opponent’s vehicle): “Ow, my chapped thighs!”

N. Gin (when his vehicle is destroyed): “NO! The sweet pain!”

N. Gin (when his vehicle is destroyed): “Oh, the sweet searing agony!”

N. Gin (when his vehicle is destroyed): “The delicious burning!”

N. Gin (when picking up an item): “Oh, the firm love of a fine Power Crystal.”

N. Gin (when winning a race): “More! Shoot more lovely weapons at me!”

N. Gin (during the credits): “Hey– what? Stephanie, I love you! You can touch me if you want… hee-hee-hee… please.”

Dr. Cortex (when attacked by Crash): “Nobody makes me bleed from there!”

Dr. Cortex (when attacked by Crash): “The pain! The sweet pain!”

Dr. Cortex (when starting his vehicle from a standstill): “Ladies react very favorable to that.”

Dr. Cortex (when starting his vehicle from a standstill): “Oh, I love that rumbling sensation!”

Dr. Cortex (when starting his vehicle from a standstill or passing an opponent vehicle): “Who’s your daddy?”

Dr. Cortex (when passing an opponent vehicle): “Ain’t my backside pretty?”

Dr. Cortex (picking up an item): “I’m hiding this Crystal in my special place.”

Dr. Cortex (picking up an item): “Begin quivering with excitement!”

Dr. Cortex (when brushing against an opponent): “Come back here and plow into me like a man!”

Dr. Cortex (when brushing against a wall): “¿Dónde están mis pantalones?” (Translation: Where are my pants?)

Dr. Cortex (when brushing against a wall): “Summon my proctologist!”

Dr. Cortex (when destroying an opponent vehicle): “It’s not my fault he sucks platypus eggs!”

Dr. Cortex (when hit by a weapon): “Fool! Watch where you’re aiming that thing!”

Dr. Cortex (when hit by a weapon): “I’d rather be the hammer than the nail.”

Dr. Cortex (when clashing): “Wow, that felt good!”

Dr. Cortex (when clashing): “Now move a little to the left… that’s better.”

Dr. Cortex (when clashing): “Not bad! We need to see each other more often.”

Dr. Cortex (when de-clashing): “And I’m spent.”

Dr. Cortex (when de-clashing): “Now tell me how my backside looks. Tell me!”

Dr. Cortex (when losing a race): “That’s just wrong in every sense of the word!”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Hello, Michelle! Be seeing you later. Oh, and Michelle, say hi to JOE’s kids, Neo Andrew and Neo Nicole.”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Mr. Plumbly, you really know how to shoot one pass the goalie! Wink wink, nudge nudge! Little Plumbly is proof of that.”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Trevor would like to thank the Olsen Twins, whom he’s never met.”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Hello, Corey’s wife, Laura. You dirty girl!”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “And Dwayne Shephard. Nobody says [insert long bleep here] with such authority.”

Nina Cortex (when de-clashing): “Was it good for you, too?”

Pasadena (when talking to Crash): “You gettin’ heat stroke, Crash? You need mouth to mouth or somethin’?”

Pasadena (when attacked by Crash): “Stop whoopin’ me~”

Von Clutch (when picking up an item): “Oh, I am tingling with delight! At least I think that’s delight.”

Von Clutch (when running over a Park Drone): “I know that shouldn’t feel good. But it does!”

Some of yall have been sleeping on Crash for years and it’s my job to educate you

I absolutely will die on this hill, access to fiction that makes your skin crawl and open discussion about it is the best way to keep that skin crawling fiction from happening in reality.

It doesn't matter if it is ~positively~ or negatively portrayed. If you censor it, we don't talk about it, then we can't protect against it.

N. Tropy decided to commit vanish

This is the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

A good dad will never give his child in offense.

A master post of Thomas Romain’s art tutorials.

There’s not enough space to post all of them, SO here’s links to everything he has posted (on twitter) so far : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12. 

Now that new semesters have started, I thought people might need these. Enjoy your lessons!

An explanation of the burden of proof fallacy.

This is how it should be when debating.

For those who say...

"Fiction effects reality on a 1:1 scale."

"Consuming ____ leads to ____."

"If you consume/like ____, you're a pedophile."

...it is YOUR responsibility to prove that claim.

Twitter is slowly but surely dying

I might as well came back here soon

Meanwhile in Mr. Hopp's playhouse 2 😂