💖 You Don't Have To Justify The Types Of Romantic Relationships That You Write Or Enjoy In Fiction.

If it keeps you from killing yourself it's not stupid. This applies to anything btw.

holy fucking shit go the fuck outside you mentally delayed dog turd

Some of yall have been sleeping on Crash for years and it’s my job to educate you

Wow... I was dead for a while, wasn't I? Anyways, have a Fran - art!

I think one of the biggest things about being proship is just. Not. Fucking caring about things

Like oh my god nobody talks about how FREEING it feels! Like holy shit! I really DONT have to spend all my time obsessing over what other people do all the time! I DONT have to give a shit if I don’t want to! I have so much more time to myself now! Do you know how awesome that is? To be able to not care?

All I’m saying is, if y’all spent less time finding new Harmless Weirdos to hate on and spent more time learning to love yourself and embrace your truths unabashedly, you’d probably see where all us Harmless Weirdos are coming from

Smoke break 🚬

Do you count disgusting gross and criminal people that read stuff like sexual assault, underage and incest in books or those people that wrote them? Because that's not a cop in your head that's just plain illegal, especially if it's painted positively like Game Of Thrones; IT; SNOW, GLASS, APPLES; and Lolita. Two of those stories have been banned for a good reason, they're plain moral degeneration and have caused society great harm.

most literate tumblr user

You want more minority representation in media but if they have flaws its problematic and if theyre perfect theyre a patronizing mary sue. If they crack under the pressure of the conflict the author thinks that minority is weak and if they overcome the adversity they must be a neoliberal bootlicker who thinks real world bigotry is a matter of personal attitude. You want minority characters but if theyre a villain its violently problematic and if theyre the protagonist then we circle back to the very first sentence. If theyre a side character theyre being sidelined and the author is once again bigoted, and don't you know that every single minority character death is unilaterally bigoted, without exception? You want more minority characters but if their identity is a big part of their personality or struggles then they're problematic and if their identity has nothing to do with their personality or struggles then the author is tokenizing that identity for clout. You want more minority characters but every time theres a minority character who doesnt have every single experience that you have then you tell the author to kill themselves on twitter. You wonder why not even minority authors will write minority characters.

I would ask you to read Catch-22, but you'd just call the military base problematic.

In 2015, I compiled a list of innuendos spoken by the different characters in Crash Tag Team Racing. Here they are, though I’m certain now that it’s an incomplete list:

Coco (when clashing): “Hey, not so hard!”

Coco (when destroying an opponent vehicle): “This is why this girl likes big guns.”

Crunch (when starting a race): “Let’s… get… bizzay!”

Crunch (when destroying an opponent vehicle): “Call me daddy!”

Crunch (when picking up an item): “Mmm, lay some, sugah!”

Crunch (when running over a Park Drone): “Not even prison-pretty no more!”

N. Gin (talking to Crash): “Crash, you must point me in the direction of the nearest lavatory. MY ROCKET IS DRAINING!”

N. Gin (talking to Crash): “Crash! We must really stop meeting like this! I told you… only after 10PM… don’t call me here.”

N. Gin (talking to Crash): “Oi Crash! You… didn’t see me with that peacock feather, did you?”

N. Gin (when Crash attacks him): “Ow! That hurt! Thank you.”

N. Gin (when starting a race): “Okay, who thinks they’ve got the marbles?”

N. Gin (brushing against an opponent’s vehicle): “That hurt my colon so much!”

N. Gin (brushing against an opponent’s vehicle): “Ow, my chapped thighs!”

N. Gin (when his vehicle is destroyed): “NO! The sweet pain!”

N. Gin (when his vehicle is destroyed): “Oh, the sweet searing agony!”

N. Gin (when his vehicle is destroyed): “The delicious burning!”

N. Gin (when picking up an item): “Oh, the firm love of a fine Power Crystal.”

N. Gin (when winning a race): “More! Shoot more lovely weapons at me!”

N. Gin (during the credits): “Hey– what? Stephanie, I love you! You can touch me if you want… hee-hee-hee… please.”

Dr. Cortex (when attacked by Crash): “Nobody makes me bleed from there!”

Dr. Cortex (when attacked by Crash): “The pain! The sweet pain!”

Dr. Cortex (when starting his vehicle from a standstill): “Ladies react very favorable to that.”

Dr. Cortex (when starting his vehicle from a standstill): “Oh, I love that rumbling sensation!”

Dr. Cortex (when starting his vehicle from a standstill or passing an opponent vehicle): “Who’s your daddy?”

Dr. Cortex (when passing an opponent vehicle): “Ain’t my backside pretty?”

Dr. Cortex (picking up an item): “I’m hiding this Crystal in my special place.”

Dr. Cortex (picking up an item): “Begin quivering with excitement!”

Dr. Cortex (when brushing against an opponent): “Come back here and plow into me like a man!”

Dr. Cortex (when brushing against a wall): “¿Dónde están mis pantalones?” (Translation: Where are my pants?)

Dr. Cortex (when brushing against a wall): “Summon my proctologist!”

Dr. Cortex (when destroying an opponent vehicle): “It’s not my fault he sucks platypus eggs!”

Dr. Cortex (when hit by a weapon): “Fool! Watch where you’re aiming that thing!”

Dr. Cortex (when hit by a weapon): “I’d rather be the hammer than the nail.”

Dr. Cortex (when clashing): “Wow, that felt good!”

Dr. Cortex (when clashing): “Now move a little to the left… that’s better.”

Dr. Cortex (when clashing): “Not bad! We need to see each other more often.”

Dr. Cortex (when de-clashing): “And I’m spent.”

Dr. Cortex (when de-clashing): “Now tell me how my backside looks. Tell me!”

Dr. Cortex (when losing a race): “That’s just wrong in every sense of the word!”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Hello, Michelle! Be seeing you later. Oh, and Michelle, say hi to JOE’s kids, Neo Andrew and Neo Nicole.”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Mr. Plumbly, you really know how to shoot one pass the goalie! Wink wink, nudge nudge! Little Plumbly is proof of that.”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Trevor would like to thank the Olsen Twins, whom he’s never met.”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Hello, Corey’s wife, Laura. You dirty girl!”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “And Dwayne Shephard. Nobody says [insert long bleep here] with such authority.”

Nina Cortex (when de-clashing): “Was it good for you, too?”

Pasadena (when talking to Crash): “You gettin’ heat stroke, Crash? You need mouth to mouth or somethin’?”

Pasadena (when attacked by Crash): “Stop whoopin’ me~”

Von Clutch (when picking up an item): “Oh, I am tingling with delight! At least I think that’s delight.”

Von Clutch (when running over a Park Drone): “I know that shouldn’t feel good. But it does!”