Who Wants To Buy This Book I Will Never Get Around To Writing

I’d like the Lopunny line a lot more if Gamefreak ever played up the fact that Buneary is the one Pokemon that fucking hates your guts from day one

I wanna get to the point in my life where I can pay every single one of my bills on auto pay and I won’t even have to bat an eye on my bank account balance.

“it wouldn’t even have to be an evil sponge” is a vital part of my personal lexicon but i don’t think anyone knows what the fuck i’m talking about 99.99% of the time

my grandparents have to lock their car doors when they go to sunday mass because people have been breaking in to unlocked cars and leaving entire piles of zucchini

the things i would imagine running alongside the car when i was a kid

The other day I got a bug up my ass about lake Natron, because I’ve seen the photos of the calcified remains of animals that died on the lake (contrary to popular rumor, the lake doesn’t outright kill them as soon as they touch it but it probably doesn’t help), but I’ve only seen those photos in black and white. I’m sure you’ve seen them.

This particular photographer posed them for the photos, but I thought, you know, calcified remains should be really interesting to see in color, so I tried to find some that had been taken by others, in color. It was not nearly as visual stunning, they were just white rotting remains.

But what caught my eye wasn’t the dead. It was the fucking lake.

It’s BLOOD fucking RED.

It’s super alkaline (typically 10, but can get up 12, and just so we’re clear, pH13 melts skin, go look up Lye), blood fucking red (terrifying), and oh, it gets to be 106F/41C in the water (which is not scalding but still unreasonable for a LAKE). Red spirulina cyanobacteria (toxic!) thrives here and provides food for the main denizen of the lake…. fucking lesser flamingos.

Look at their fucking mud nests! They have to build nests out of mud because there’s nothing else and the water is caustic enough to kill their babies before those babies are tall enough to stand out of the water! The parents are feeding them crop milk that contains BLOOD.

Additionally!! The chicks often get soda anklets from soda and other minerals collecting and hardening around their feet and legs, which is the major killer of lesser flamingo chicks! They’re so hard that they would need to be hammered off! Like with a hammer or a smashy rock!! Humans had to do this for thousands of babies one year just to keep them from all dying off after we screwed with the balance of minerals in one of their lakes!

Look at this place! What is that black void!!

You need to leave!! You have found flamingo Silent Hill!! What are you still doing here!! I’ll tell you!! They’re still doing there because literally the death lake protects them from predators, nothing big enough to be a threat to them gets across the lake to get them. There are millions of them living there safely.

What the fuck. what the FUCK nature. This is some of the most amazing shit you’ve ever pulled and hardly anyone knows about it. I’m on to you. I see your blood lake with your pink goth bird decorations. I see you.

reunited with Macayo, one of my oldest and wisest friends. he says 2018 is going to be a perfect year and that my hair still smells like crayons. (p.s macaws can live to be 90! that’s straight up the same bird in both pics. whaaaaat?)

I’ve been waiting since March to post this...

Into The Spiderverse took 100% of its critically acclaimed visuals from comic books and street art and while there are obvious in-universe reasons for this it can’t be ignored that BOTH of these are traditionally seen as “lowbrow” populist art forms, here celebrated for their inherent beauty, complexity and sociopolitical importance. In this essay I will-