Harry: Draco, are you a cigarette?
Draco: No…why?
Harry: Because I want to get you lit and stick your butt in my mouth
Draco: Why are you like this?
one of his friends i never talked to followed me today and texted me as soon as i followed him back and i mean it could be a coincidence but i’m freaking out
might have gotten drunk and drawn my crush’s eye because tbh it’s one of his best features
and somehow my drunk ass managed to post it in my story and write that i have a crush on him and luckily i only used a song he likes to let him know it’s him i was talking about
now he’s either so dumb he didn’t realize (which he definitely isn’t) or he’s read all of it as usual and basically doesn’t give a fuck (which is actually good because it means it’s not a big deal, right??)
well at least he hasn’t blocked me (yet huh)
Me: Oh no I don't pass I don't look like a cis boy omg
A random guy: *starts to talk to me*
Random guy: Oh sorry young man I thought you were someone else
Me: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS
something’s making me very sad about my crush
he’s very popular and handsome, so most people know him and most of his friends are also popular and all so you either like them or you’re a nerd (you see what i mean)
so every time i hear compliments about him, it’s like ‘you’re so handsome’, ‘you dress so well’, ‘you look so cool’, ‘your clothes look great’ and all
but as soon as you start talking about his personality, all you’ll hear is ‘he’s shallow’, ‘he doesn’t even have a personality’, ‘he only has looks’, or even ‘he’s dumb’
i don’t think i ever heard anyone making a compliment about his personality or his interests, not even his friends
whenever he makes a post on instagram, he easily gets hundreds of likes and about 100 comments in no time, everyone telling him he looks fine and he’s handsome, girls asking him to marry them, this kind of stuff
if he asks people to tell him something random in his story, everyone will tell him he looks good and he dresses well
and imma be honest, it’s true, he does look good, he’s very handsome and he dresses well; but he’s not shallow, he’s not here to just look good and shut up, he’s not superficial
the first time i heard about him was when he randomly texted me for the first time and we started talking; we had a lot of long and interesting conversations about so many things... beyond his looks you’ll find his interests if you just try to care about it.
he’s very cultured because he believes it’s important, he listens to pretty much everything, even traditional music from countries you forgot about, he enjoys learning new things, especially about our society and the way it works (here and in countries no one ever talks about), he loves music, plays guitar, he’s very funny and open-minded, he wouldn’t disrespect you, he’s very fun to be around, he likes to hang out and talk about literally anything, he’s the opposite of a fake, he’s real and you won’t feel embarrassed or out of place if you ever get to talk to him; if he knows what you’re talking about, he’ll give you his opinion and if he doesn’t, he’ll be interested and he’ll ask you about it, he definitely isn’t dumb, he’s also very talented especially when it comes to music
i wish people would just try to understand him like he’s always trying to understand how the world works; everyone loves him for his looks but no one cares about his interests, this is so unfair..
i’ve been talking to him for months and he always respected me, showed interest, helped me and supported me; he showed me kindness and a beautiful smile even after i said the most embarrassing things to him
i just hope he’s doing ok, i don’t want this to make him feel bad but he does know about people calling him shallow and superficial; i think he told me it was making him feel kinda sad because it’s not true
he deserves the world, not a bunch of fake people
i just thought i’d write about it because i noticed it quite a long time ago and i find it very unfair
sirius: please let me put eyeliner on you just this once, we can’t go to a punk show if you’re not wearing eyeliner
remus: alright, fine
sirius: *sees remus with eyeliner on*
sirius, choking: holy fuck, i think i might be gay
oh god i can't believe this, he's currently gaslighting me, tho he doesn't even know what happened precisely
he must be fucking kidding me
texted a friend to tell him that 1. i was here if he ever needed anyone (bc he told me he had no one to talk to) and that 2. i've been treated unfairly and it's making me upset and his only answer was 'i need you to send me the thing i asked you for bc it's due tomorrow' and i can't believe i'm constantly trying my best for people that just couldn't care less
wow my only support rn is my crush and i mean i'm still falling apart but i'm a bit happier and relieved
sooo my friends have been making plans right in front of me and not including me for a while and they keep talking about it all the time when i’m around and the whole crew is invited except me
so far they planned holidays and movie nights, some in a few days, some in a few weeks
and i know i sound kinda angry or jealous or anything but honestly i just feel worthless and it hurts to see i’m not wanted and it’s just proving me right, i’m not important and they’re better without me
Me: this is great!!! I finally have time to write! I can make some progress!
Me:
*lunch break with my class*
girl: hey it's so funny how we all have a role in this class :))
girl: *pointing to a guy* you're like our new dad, showing us around :)
girl: *pointing to another girl* you're always in a good mood and trying to cheer us up :)
girl: *pointing to me* you're our personal depressed junkie :)
he/him • • • 'zwischen den welten bin ich gefangen' -th • • • not living, barely surviving • • • insta: @whatsmyname.rolko
95 posts