I Told Him I Was Logging Off Bc He Was Pissing Me Off And Making It Worse

there’s this kind of heavy sadness invading me for no reason and leaving me broken even when nothing’s wrong

It’s honestly so stupid that Harry is in a relationship with Ginny like they’ve talked 2 times about shit wtf

But Draco could absolutly be Harry’s lover like he’s been annoying him for years so Harry could notice him and it’s clearly how a great Love story could start

i’m sorry i might be wrong but.. he sends me memes 🥺👉👈

Draco: Granger is so stupid!

Harry: *glares*

Draco: I’m more beautiful when I have my mouth shut, right?

Harry: You’re more beautiful when I don’t have my glasses on

The Gray Day

I decided that today would be a gray day. It’s not a white day because things are going wrong; but it’s not a black day because I found a way to get better. However, this implies that I hurt someone. I don’t want to, but I’ve been destroyed a little more every day for more than a year. I believe in Love, I really do. But many things went wrong. Maybe it wasn’t real Love and this might explain why it makes me feel this way; or maybe was I too young to be happy with all of this. Whatever the reason is, I decided that I wanted to stop. It’s getting too hard for me. Fortunately, I’m feeling better with myself than I used to, so I haven’t thought about self harm or suicide to end my pain. I think I have to let him go. He doesn’t want to, but we have to. I know myself, and if I stay, I will force myself to do things that hurt me, that make me unhappy, that disgust me, and a few others. I don’t want this to happen, I don’t want to fake smiles or feelings, or make him believe I’m happy with us. Truth is, I was happy in the beginning, when I thought it was forever. But now I’m thinking about the time I still had a choice. Because I feel trapped, I can’t make my own decisions. He tells me to go to bed early and he knows when I don’t, he calls me all the time even though he knows that phones that ring and vibrate are unbearable for me. He has ‘crisis’ when he gets mad and yells at me because I don’t help him. I can’t do anything without receiving lots of messages and calls from him. Together, we stopped cutting ourselves and we got better, but now he’s pulling me down with him while I’m trying to fly. I know that this sounds selfish and I guess I am, but I can’t do this anymore. I wanna be able to do whatever I want without having to justify myself, I want to spend entire days without hearing my phone, I want to meet new people and do what I want with them without having to justify myself, I want to be free. It’s been several hours now since I’ve put my phone on plane mode and I know he’s probably trying to call me, he’s sending me messages, telling me he’s crying and he’s gonna hurt himself. A few hours earlier, I had an idea. I’m gonna write a letter, since we’re all in quarantine, because that’s the only way I can tell him without using a phone. I will write that I can’t do it anymore, that it’s over, and that I need my independence back. I will gather all our things, all our memories, and give them back to him once the quarantine will be over. I’ll delete all our pictures, block him on every social media because I know he won’t leave me alone. And then I’ll tell my ‘best’ (only) friend what happened and we’ll never talk about this again. After all of this; I’ll be able to accept myself as I am, not as I ‘should’ be, and I’ll be there for people that need me, for the ones I lost contact with, and I know I’ve made enough efforts to be able to go talk to people I don’t know, for I’m feeling way stronger than I was. Tonight; I am writing thid on Tumblr but I’m not expecting any reader. I thought I’d just let my mind write this and then I’d post it. If by any chance, someone is reading this, I hope you’re doing okay, and that my text might be a bit useful (pretty sure it’s not tho). I wish you the best.

Once in 6th grade I had to read a text in history class and when I saw “JC” I said “Jesus Christ or maybe Julius Caesar, I don’t know” and everyone stared at me and started laughing even the teacher

already cried 3 times in 2022, this year gonna be long as hell

chapters i wrote: 12

chapters i daydreamed: probably 53

I JUST HAD THE SECOND WATTPAD MOMENT OF MY LIFE TODAY I CAN DIE IN PEACE

one of his friends i never talked to followed me today and texted me as soon as i followed him back and i mean it could be a coincidence but i’m freaking out

might have gotten drunk and drawn my crush’s eye because tbh it’s one of his best features

and somehow my drunk ass managed to post it in my story and write that i have a crush on him and luckily i only used a song he likes to let him know it’s him i was talking about

now he’s either so dumb he didn’t realize (which he definitely isn’t) or he’s read all of it as usual and basically doesn’t give a fuck (which is actually good because it means it’s not a big deal, right??)

well at least he hasn’t blocked me (yet huh)