When The Thousand Year Old Stone Tablets Write Better Fics Than You T_T

Legolas: ARAGON WHERE IS MY CONDITIONER I CAN'T FIND MY CONDITIONER ! ARAGON THE HOBBITS ATE MY CONDITIONER HOW DID THEY EVEN MANAGE THAT

Aragon: LeGoLaS wE'rE LiTerAlLy aT bORoMiR's fuNErAl.

I know Elves are canonically just effortlessly beautiful creatures but I think it's funny to imagine Legolas having an extensive skin care and beauty routine that he does every morning to maintain his etheral features and he gets so fussy about it too and Aragorn is just like

i sometimes forget that crowley and aziraphale have CANONICALLY kissed. on the lips. wow

and it hits me a bit too hard when i remember about it

Hello! How many hyperfixations have you had, and what were they?

*cracks knuckles* oh BOY you are not ready for the amount of hyperfixations I have

My first obsession was probably Harry Potter (My dad read the books to me and my brother when I was 5) I don't read/support it now though cause of JKR >:(

next was Wings of Fire (I was like 8 okay) I loved those little dragons so much y'all T_T

horses (I still love horses and own two but man as a kid the obession was real)

Ooooh and KOTLC I read all the books in primary school

dnd (I still play with my friends to this day)

Percy Jackson (I read the books when I was like 10 and they haunt me to this day)

kinda just Greek mythology in general really (I could yap for hours about this don't get me started)

Okay now imma just list them real fast:

Lord of the Rings

The hunger games

Six of Crows ( I love those 'lil gays fr)

The Umbrella Academy

Throne of Glass

MCU

DCU (specifically the batfam)

Critical Role

Epic the Musical

Hamilton

Hadestown

BBC merlin

Doctor who

Good omens

thats all I can think of for now but if im being honest by the time I finish the tags there will probably be three more

Thank you for the ask :D

im crying that ineffable pin is cute T_T

wait AND there's a sonic screwdriver one?? 10/10 adorable <3

New additions to the pin jacket!

Can y'all guess where I got these? (2 of these I haven't even posted about)

this is so cute omg

Retired Timelords 😃

omg this is adorable THANK YOU

Hi :D

kinda random ask but: your username is 'stoat on toast'...could you draw a stoat on toast? bonus points if it's cute and bonus bonus points if drawing it makes you happy :)

two sleepy boys

(it did :))

we are among you

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

the dumbest temptations that Crowley has ever performed:

tempting a cat to walk over to him when the little 'pssh pshhh kittyyyy' noises weren't working (It was a black cat so it was totally evil and demonic guys trust)

spent 30 seconds panic-adjusting the meat he was offering to Aziraphale in the Job flashback so that it would taste just right

"IT NEEDS MORE SALT WAIT NO THAT'S TOO SALTY NEVERMIND WHERE'S THE SEASONING WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DON'T HAVE SEASONING HERE I THOUGHT GOD CARED??"

his sunglasses made everything too dark for him to see the little stars in Aziraphale's eyes so every time he gets a new pair he makes sure they're just dark enough to hide his eyes and block out bright lights but not dark enough that he can't see his angel's beautiful pupils <3

snakes.

whenever a snake species starts becoming endangered he tempts governments into giving funding for wildlife conservation (occasionally if they're still endangered he grabs a snake or two to raise and reintroduce himself) (It's EVIL because they're POISONOUS and eat...well, mostly mice but don't tell Hell that)

tempting the guy in charge of the playlists at his favourite bar to play angsty songs on repeat when he's brooding >:(

good omens characters I would trust with my car (if I had one)

Who I would let borrow my car:

Crowley. That demon would take care of my car - I'm talking pristine seats, clean glovebox, the shiniest it's ever been. He would claim that he wasn't doing it to be nice (he's not nice) and complain about how dirty it was before but we all know the truth. All my CD's would probably be mysteriously replaced with Queen (if he has to listen to it all time, so does everybody else.) There would be 17 parking tickets in 5 different languages on the dash. When you get the car back you realise that you gave it to him with a nearly empty tank but for some reason he didn't seem to refill it? And it worked perfectly fine???

Aziraphale. Look we both know when I get it back it'll be bright yellow and probably look like it's off a 60s sitcom but I mean look at his FACE is that the kind of face you could say no to? Yeah, I don't think so. He would be all "pretty please could I borrow your beautiful car" and the keys would be his. I don't blame Crowley for letting him drive the Bentley I would also forfeit all my mortal possessions to this angel.

Anathema. She wouldn't ask she'd just grab my keys and be like "I'll be back at 6:02" and who am I to question it? it would be 6:02 exactly and the car would turn up in my driveway covered in dirt. where did all the dirt come from??? I don't think I want to know. There would be a sticky note on the dashboard with a cryptic prophecy involving an elaborate generation-long ruse and today's wordle answer. would I let her borrow it again? probably.

Who I would not let borrow my car:

Newton Pulsifer. This man would rename my car words that haven't even been invented yet. He would've used my number plate to sign up for a Spanish inquisition fanclub. Heaven forbid that I have a Bluetooth speaker inside (it would turn into a green tooth speaker or something I swear.) The car would end up in a ditch in the neighbour's cornfield. He would offer me toast as an apology.

Sergeant Shadwell. Let's just say he uses the buses for a reason.

Archangel Gabriel. My radio would exclusively play bible stations from now on. The car would glow pure white and float above the ground. He would get pulled over for going 3km on the motorway. His driver's license would say 'human Gabriel who's a completely normal human being. profession: definitely not archangel of heaven. (that'll fool 'em guys) age: human. He would sit and watch the windscreen wipers go back and forward for 5 hours like a cat.

Crowley, in Aziraphale's french revolution voice: I hAvE sTanDaRdS