Listen! Much As I Do Have A Lot Of Strong Negative Feelings About The Way Sam Tends To Behave Under Pressure,

Listen! Much as I do have a lot of strong negative feelings about the way Sam tends to behave under pressure, and the way he is behaving thus far in season eight, I think that the spn writers have done something incredibly real and true in the way Dean and Sam’s characters have been shaped as the older and younger children of an abusive parent.

Dean gets drunk, fucks up, gets mad, hurts people, but he doesn’t act out in the same way Sam does, because he’s never really had the safety of knowing he has someone to act out to.

Sam always has this baseline sense that he can be a massive dick if he wants. He can complain, he can say it’s just too hard and he doesn’t wanna, he can throw all his toys out of the pram and still basically know that someone who loves him will pick them back up again. That person, obviously, is Dean - most of the time in the story Dean functions as Sam’s father, not his older brother. Apart from the year that passes between seasons 7 and 8, he’s always been there to cushion Sam from life, to tell Sam he’s special, to get punched in the face (metaphorically and literally) so Sam isn’t hurt.

Dean, though, is always on the front lines and emotionally alone. There were good people in his life growing up - Bobby, Ellen - and I think he gets most of his very strong and mostly positive morality from them - but he’s missed out on the knowledge that there’s one constant presence for whom he comes first. And because he missed that, he will rip himself apart to take care of everyone he meets but he doesn’t believe for a second that he’s worthy of care himself. That’s why the moment in season 4 when Cas asks why he doesn’t think he’s worthy of being saved hits so hard, and why Dean is so fascinated by Cas from jump. He’s the one person who’s ever turned to Dean and said directly that he is important.

But of course Cas just saying it isn’t enough to flip a lifetime of learned behavior. Dean cannot even for a second allow himself to be the level of self-centred that Sam is on a regular basis. If Dean hit a dog he might not take it to the vet (because he baseline does not trust society) but he’d just quietly assume that he has a dog now, even if he doesn’t want one. Whereas Sam allows himself to yell and cry and say he doesn’t WANT a dog, actually!!

So maybe I don’t like Sam a huge amount, or condone the way he’s behaving, but at a deep level I think he works and makes sense as a human being. Yes, this is how he’d function if he was real!

Both Winchesters are facing intolerable shit all the time, but only one of them is emotionally able to articulate that, because only one of them has ever been told that he’s allowed to want more than intolerable shit every day for ever. Everyone should feel able to behave badly the way Sam does, and the central tragedy of the show is that Dean doesn’t ever feel safe enough to be a rotten little butthead once in a while.

More Posts from Always---wrong and Others

always---wrong

9 months ago

ADORABLE

My brain decided to focus on the fact that Dean likes cowboys… it’s just too cute to ignore :’3

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always---wrong

1 year ago

This is so cute

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always---wrong

6 months ago

Just learned Netflix cancelled Kaos Season 2.

FUCK NETFLIX. Im never watching anything from that shitty streaming service if they keep fucking shows over. GOOD shows!

So many were done so dirty. I don't even care anymore. They don't deserve my attention if all they care about is money.

I'm selling physical versions of this artbook for an extremely limited run of just 15 copies on Etsy.

Once they're sold, they're gone forever, so be sure to pick one up if you're interested or if you'd just like to support me and my work. 🌼

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always---wrong

9 months ago

I'm not one to say Dean has never done anything wrong because he absolutely has but what you have to understand is that even when he did things wrong it was okay and he was right. Hope this clears things up

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always---wrong

1 year ago

(Ace/Aro/Aroace community when Alastor is confirmed Ace after years of having little to no representation)

To the rest of the queer community:

Yep, we do exist. We just don't have too much to talk about.

But seriously, since season one of Hazbin Hotel came out and it's been mentioned in the show that Alastor is ace I've seen more Aroace communication than in the last two years.

I kinda forgot that we could have real representation at all let alone my favorite character in my new hyperfixation. It came as a shock.