I Was Too Scared To Tell You I Loved You

discipline is freedom. remember that.

When the new day is born

Will you nurture it?

Will you teach it who you are?

Will it change you?

Or will you let it pass you by

Like a slow death in the sky

memories

the only possession we truly retain

when other things leave us

we grasp on to what remains

to strip you from your memory

the ultimate theft

a sentence worse than death

miss u papa

and she was beautiful

and vibrant

and most of the time

a riot

but what i think

you’ll truly never know

secrets to keep

i understand alone

seldom asleep

so when a dream comes along

comatose

never wake me up

i think it’s so beautiful that we can learn each others ways and thoughts. we can understand each other or at least try to, and that itself is a way of giving your love to another. a little bit of your life, a little bit of your being. even if you don’t realize it.

The stranger

I walked along a sunlit road

A stranger passed and said hello

He gave a nod and gave his phone

And said you must speak

To the unknown

“But sir, my heart is a timebomb

I don’t know when it explodes

My rip cage of violence

The war inside of my heart

It’s just another battlefield

With no ends

And a thousand starts”

“Go on soldier

Die for something

Die for the beating drums of your flesh

Die for the love of life and death

Die for the things you’ll never forget

And die without words unsaid

Because to have died, is to have lived

And to have lived, is to have never died”

The stranger took the phone and fled

I never saw him again

i think that i’m a fool,

thought of you this afternoon,

you cross my mind every now and then,

october skies in the morning.

time is lost, yet can be found,

i wouldn’t mind having you around,

and if i could find you in the clouds,

i’d find a storm and never turn around.

my conscience stays adrift

don’t touch me i am sick

leave it up to gods that need attention

even a blessing can be a lesson

I’m drunk again

And I haven’t been

Anything

Worth troubling

Purposely

On accident

Another day

Another consequence

Who have I been?

Why do I sin?

I feel so weak

Need medicine

I feel so cold

I don’t fit in

My neck is stiff

Remembering

My bodies old

I’m fidgeting

I can’t focus

On anything

Doc…

Im struggling.

How do I medicate

My suffering?

“Boy just ice it

You put it in some rice yet?

Don’t tell me you got problems

Till you spit it out or digest”

I guess I’ve got to change my mindset

some things are,

better left untold,

im too old for feelings,

and feelings have gotten too old,

i dream of dreams,

and im dying to know,

what they mean,

or what they hold,

for he was a silver boy,

and all she craved was gold.