I Feel So Good That I Got A Mutual Like @intellectual6666 Who, Even After Being Younger Than Me, Tolerates

It's the 13th day. No steps taken by the people who need to take steps.

This is how love at first sight feels like!!

hii! amio বাঙালি! nice to meet you :D

hiii! Nice to meet you too!! Would love to interact with you!! ✨💗 anek bhalobashaaa!

পরিনীতা সিনেমার একটা সিন আছে, যেখানে শুভশ্রী বলে,'আমায় ভালোবাসলে না কেন বাবাইদা?আমাকে ভালোবাসলেতো আজ জীবনটা অন্য রকম হতো!'

আমার আরেকটা পছন্দের মুভি আছে Forrest Gump(1994) যেখানে জেনি কে গাম্প জিজ্ঞেস করে 'Why don't you love me, Jenny?I am not a smart man,but I know what love is.'

-কি অসম্ভব মন ভার করা দুটো লাইন।আমরা সবাই হয়তো কাউকে না কাউকে এইটা জিজ্ঞাসা করতে চাই যে-আমায় কেন ভালোবাসলে না?কিন্তু আমরা কেউই জিজ্ঞেস করতে পারিনা।কাউকেই জিজ্ঞাসা করা যায়না।কারণ শুনতে রূঢ় হলেও এটাই সত্যি যে-

'Unfortunately, People have the rights to decline your love no matter how pure your intention are! You are not what they want.'

Its hard to accept the reality when the person was never yours..

"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited."

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals

exam officially got over yesterday. As usual I installed Instagram and the first thing I did was to open the profile of Shreya Chatterjee.. (Usually th first thing I do is open tumblr to check on the only friend I have in tumblr.. after that I had a bad event so). Scrolling through her profile makes me feel so calm and drifts me away from all my overthinkings and insecurities... Her poems, her photographs, her spotify playlist everything is on point...

To have a profile like her is also my wish... I have found out that Shreya Di and me are quite similar in some stages, for example we both love our culture, we love all the languages and traditions of our country, the way we think is also quite similar... Her profile is so aesthetic and cozy it really makes me feel good! Yesterday I spent hours on her profile.. Sometimes I cried, sometimes I laughed seeing her feed..(I was also going through something and as soon as I opened her account i started crying anyways.. No emotional talks)... I really admire her...

With Love,

Hiya~

My playlist of bangla gaan.....

such a beautiful poem.. 📜✨

শহুরে রাস্তা তোমারি হয়ে হয়ে গেল

যে গলিতেই যাই, ভাবি তুমি সাথে থাকলে কেমন হতো!

শীত গড়িয়ে গরমের যে আদর

তার বিরক্তিও দেখা ছিল একটু বাকি

তোমার আমার জীবনকাল একসাথে কাটলেই পারতো বাকি।

যাক,

দুঃখের দীর্ঘশ্বাস তো অনেক দূর যায়,

তোমার ভাল থাকা, সে তো আমি বিনাই হয়।

কোন এক রাস্তায় আবার দেখা হবে,

হয়তো।

রাস্তা আমাদের রেখে আর দূরে যাবে না,

হয়তো।

দুপুর ১:৫০,

ঢাকা।

০২/০৩/২৪

MY GOODNESS!?!

Seeing my previous posts made me believe the fact that I was into serious depression. My goodness..

Why did I behave like that.. Ebaba.. I feel so sorry for myself..

Whatever happened was for my good.. I really don't wanna discuss about that stuff which happened, and many more stuffs which happened this year, which is the cause of huge depression. The reason I left tumblr was depression. The way in which I was treated by someone unknown, my relatives, family, made me believe that I was worthless and I don't have any sort of ability, potential, capability.

After I left tumblr, I started to focus on myself. Studying and going on small one day trips, small gossip session with friends, going out with friends etc.. I was so into depression that I got into binge eating disorder.

Anyways.. Whatever happened has happened for my good. If those would not have happened from February till December, I would have never realized that I was worthy, capable and had a lot of potential..

I know I have good judgment, I know I have good taste

It's funny and it's ironic that only I feel that way

I promise 'em that you're different and everyone makes mistakes

But just don't

I heard that you're an actor, so act like a stand-up guy

Whatever devil's inside you, don't let him out tonight

I tell them it's just your culture and everyone rolls their eyes

Yeah, I know

All I'm asking, baby

Please, please, please

Don't prove I'm right

And please, pleasе, please

Don't bring me to tеars when I just did my makeup so nice

Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another

I beg you, don't embarrass me, like the others, oh

Please, please, please

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

Heeramandi (2024)