The Hilarious Thing About Midsomer Murders Is That If You Described It To Someone Who Didn’t Watch

The hilarious thing about Midsomer Murders is that if you described it to someone who didn’t watch it and mentioned the running joke of ‘the detective inspector hates it whenever his wife starts a new hobby’ you’d think he was a raging misogynist or it was an unhappy marriage played for laughs or whatever

But no no no, Barnaby absolutely adores his wife, it’s just that her hobbies always seem to result in dead bodies and it’s been eleven seasons and Barnaby is very very tired by this point

Life after Narnia

The Pevensies return from Narnia a bit discombobulated. They are adults in childish bodies. The war has ended, and they are to return home to their parents but they never forget Professor Kirke. Often visiting him during summers.

Their mother notices it first, how everyone seems to listen to Peter. Not because he is the eldest, but because they respect him. She hears them talking of 'Narnia' and deduces that something happened to them while they were away. But she can't put her finger on what. She has no idea what an 'Aslan' is, but she doesn't question them. She misses her children. They are there in their home, but they aren't. There's always a faraway look in their eye as if they are remembering.

When they eat, no one picks up a fork until Peter starts. It confuses their father. Leaving the table, Peter stands, then Ed. The boys take their sisters' hands and lead them from the table before coming to help with the cleaning. She notices the way they walk. Peter is always first, Susan next to him, then Edmund and Lucy. They walk with regality, Peter and Ed with straight backs as the girls take their arms.

They are out on the town, when their father notices it. The children stopped in front of a jewelry store; something had caught their eye. Without saying anything, Peter opens the door, and his siblings walk through before he does. It is a set of lapel pins they saw first. A Lion. He hears them all say "Aslan" before Peter pulls out his wallet. From that day on, he always notices a Lion somewhere on their person. Peter with a ring, Susan with a necklace, Ed with a pocket watch and Lucy with a bracelet. But all wear their pins when he sends them to school.

Peter often forgets that he is not to speak before his father, but one look from Lucy quells his anger. His father calls him "boy" and it takes everything in him not to correct him. He is High King.

He begins working when he turns fourteen. He tires of asking his father for things only to be dismissed of "silly childish things". All he asked for was a sword. When he saves enough money, he buys his sword, and Susan an archery set. Susan notices the tension between Peter and their father.

Edmund asked for a chess set and his mother obliged. He often plays with Lucy, resulting in a stalemate. The only person to ever have beaten him, was Susan.

Lucy is the one their parents notice the most change in. No longer is she a nine year old, but she talks as if she is older. Using words even they don't know the meaning of. She speaks of this Aslan the most. Their parents realize that "Aslan" is the name of the Lion they brandish when they hear various exclamations of "Aslan's Mane!" or "By the Lion!"

They return to their school, Whitmore Boarding School. Many people notice a change in them. Mostly their teachers. Peter commands respect, Susan is positively regal, Edmund has a silver tongue, and Lucy is more peculiar than strange.

On the first day of term, a professor addresses Peter as "Boy" amongst other professors and in front of his brother and sisters. Peter cannot help himself. He tells him to address him with respect; to call on him as "Sir", and he will receive the same respect in turn. He will never answer to "Boy" again. It takes all his restraint to not say "King".

The Professor never did ask him the question he had called on him for.

It almost infuriates their teachers, but they realize that they aren't arrogant, just way too mature for their ages.

Another problem arises when Lucy refuses to wear the school appointed skirts. She prefers pants, or dresses. Never skirts. The headmaster nearly calls their parents when her siblings storm into his office. Peter demands to know why Lucy is being punished for wearing clothes, and why he did not send for him. The headmaster explains that he is not her father and Peter rebuffs him by explaining that his father has put him in charge of his siblings if any problems arose. He reminds him of the letter sent to him explaining such matters. Edmund pulls out the handbook and explains to the headmaster that the rules do not say that girls are not allowed to wear pants. The headmaster calmly explains that the list of supplies sent to them specified black, tan or grey skirts for girls, and black, tan or grey pants for boys. Edmund then points out that the rules do not forbid girls from wearing pants or boys from wearing skirts or dresses. He then calmly suggests that he drop the matter or Lucy will spend the term walking around school without bottoms, as the rules do not forbid that either. Citing that they were told they had to purchase the uniforms, but the rules do not explicitly say they had to wear them. The headmaster does not know if he is annoyed or impressed at the loopholes Edmund finds. He drops the matter, and it is never addressed again.

All the Pevensie’s take up a sport or two. All of them take up fencing, aside from Susan. She took up archery. Peter and Lucy take up swimming. Edmund joins the debate and chess teams. And Susan and Lucy both excel in ballroom dance. Susan doesn’t even try out for the archery team. She’s just in the courtyard watching the team practice with Ed and criticizes their technique. The captain of the team overhears her and challenges her to do better. She smiles at the boy, saying she does not want to embarrass them. They laugh and vaguely insult her intelligence and Susan just looks at her younger brother and he smirks. He stands and holds out his hand, addressing her as “my Lady”. The team laughs and Susan takes the captain’s bow, gets a feel for the weight, and then requests a full quiver. Ed stands to the side and comments, “You asked for it.” She hits the bullseye on every target. The captain has the audacity to say, “lucky shot” So Susan shrugs. There’s a target that’s moving and she nocks another bow and hits the bullseye without even looking. She then hands the captain back his bow and walks away with Ed. She finds the captain’s pin on her desk the next morning.

The rumor goes around that Peter prefers to be called “Sir”. While he’s sitting in the courtyard with his siblings, a group of older boys walk up to him, one calling him “Sir Peter” in a mocking voice. Peter puts down his book and calmly answers with “yes sir.” He stands to look the boy in the eye, and as the boys spout insults. Susan can see that Peter and Ed are getting angry, so she stands between Peter and the boys, placing her hand on his chest and tells him to walk away. It isn’t until one of the boys pushes Susan away that Peter loses his temper. Edmund catches her before she hits the ground. The biggest boy grabs Peter’s collar and immediately regrets it as his shoulder promptly leaves its socket. The other boys come at him, and he side steps. All four of them are on the ground with various injuries and Peter didn’t throw a single punch. He received detention and attended with pride. No one ever touched Susan again.

The professors are surprised when the Pevensies join the student council and the school seems to run better than it has in its history. Edmund works mostly behind the scenes, but people usually come to him or Susan with their problems. They think Peter is scary, but Ed reminds them that they voted him in as the head of the council. He tells them to actually talk to him, he’s not as stoic as he seems.

The adults notice that the Pevensies do not dress as children usually do during their off hours. Instead of t-shirts and shorts and hoodies, the boys are always in slacks and a pressed shirt, sometimes with a tie. Susan enjoys sun dresses and flowy skirts and blouses. Lucy is always wearing boots and pants with a loose shirt. She is not like any of the other girls they’ve taught.

They have all grown taller in the three years they’ve attended the school after the war. With Peter now seventeen, standing at six foot three. Susan is fifteen and almost as tall as Ed at five foot eight. Edmund has always been tall and skinny for his age, but now at fourteen, he stands at five foot ten. Lucy is the one who has grown most noticeably, at thirteen she stands at five foot six.

Peter writes to his father, asking for money for when they go to the shops on the weekends. He receives a reply, saying he ought not ask for silly things. He learns that he can open an account at the local bank. He never asks his father for anything ever again. Even after he left school, anything his siblings wanted, he provided for them.

Lucy asked Peter why he refuses to write to their father. Peter looks at her and, in all seriousness, he replies “he treats me like a boy”. She then goes to Susan, and she tells her that she suspects their father is jealous that someone taught Peter and Edmund to be better men before he could.

During a weekend outing, the school chaperones notice Edmund and Lucy sitting at a table playing chess. He watches as Susan and Peter are perusing the shops. But instead of buying games and toys and candies, they are in a bookstore. Peter comes out carrying Susan’s books and they join Ed and Lucy at the table. Susan cracks open a book and Peter lights his pipe. They don’t know where he got it, but no one dares take it from him. When Lucy and Ed came to yet another stalemate, Susan put her book away and took Lucy to a dress shop. Peter put away his pipe and followed. Ed just reset the chess board. They are indeed more grown up than they seem.

A few girls pluck up the courage to ask Peter to be their date to the ball, but he tells them that he is already spoken for. No one is surprised when it is Susan on his arm at the dance. Yet, no one expects it when Lucy and Edmund join the two on the dance floor and dance the waltz as if they’ve been doing it for far longer than they’ve been alive. They are surprised, however, when Peter and Edmund extend their hands to their teachers to dance the cotillion. They are accepted.

Many professors have gotten used to Peter watching the courtyard during class. But no one could have prepared themselves for Peter suddenly standing and letting out what sounded like a growl before speeding out of the classroom. Many people knew the look in his eye and followed him to the courtyard where Lucy was. There was a new student in Lucy’s year. He hadn’t learned the rules of the school, or proper etiquette for that matter. Lucy had started to be more like Susan. Gentler. Lucy opted not to fight when she could avoid it. Sometimes she couldn’t avoid it. This boy had tried to touch her inappropriately and got punched in the stomach. But he was bigger than Lucy and had backed her against a tree. He didn’t get much further as he was pulled off her and a fist met his face. But this one was bigger. Stronger. He was then pulled by his collar and lifted against the wall by the absolute beast of a man he had never seen before. No one had seen him before. All he heard was “Peter” before he was dropped. His knees gave out and he looked up from the ground to see Peter standing before him, chest heaving. “Apologize.” Came the low growl. There was a small, slender hand on his chest. He supposed that was all that was keeping him from probably dying. He thanked every god he could think of. He was then heaved from the ground by his blazer and made to look Lucy in the face. This hand was different, but the fury was the same. “I believe there is something you need to say.” Came Edmunds voice.

“I’m sorry.” He said, terrified. Lucy just looked back and said, “I supposed you will learn to keep your hands to yourself.” Before Edmund let him go. Peter was still growling. He got off too easy in his book. None of the teachers said anything, noticing how the one hand from Susan kept Peter at bay, they kept that information in their proverbial back pockets. That boy never touched anyone again.

For fear of the beast that was the Pevensie siblings.

484 notes View Post

amonrawya

1 month ago

If I can hold you again, I won’t let you go.

●^●

You Sacrifice Your Life for Your Family: Steve, Bucky, Peter.

(Inspired by^)

You stared at Thanos, shivering from the icy wind billowing around the mountain top. Blood dripped from your lip, and splattered over your side where your arm was tucked to give some semblance of support.

His eyes were like nothing you ever saw - soulless, determined, and utterly focused on this one goal. Another shiver ran through you. This time, it had nothing to do with the wind.

"You choose one to die," he said, speaking softly, "the others live."

Your eyes drifted over their faces. Steve, Bucky and Peter. The three most important people in your life; a brother, a partner, and an adopted son. Thanos chose well, you thought bitterly.

They were scattered in the snow, beaten and bloodied, held in place by the power of the stones. Their eyes searched for you, wide, panicked, fearful. You smiled, but it faded too quickly to be genuine.

"If..." you turned back to Thanos, determinedly avoiding the others, "what if I die? Do they all live?

Thanos cocked his head, curiosity glinting in his eyes. A chorus of protest rose immediately from her left, pleading and desperate struggling.

"Yes," Thanos said, and triumph burned in his voice; this was the outcome he wanted.

"Y/N, no!" Steve hissed, "don't you dare. I'll die, pick me!"

You finally faced them properly, smiling softly at your brother, answering him with a slight shake of the head. "No, Steve...this is how it has to be."

He opened his mouth to object again, but your arms wrapping around his torso cut him off. You almost laughed, still expecting to embrace a thinner frame, even after all this time. "Look after them, Stevie. Look after yourself."

His face was wet as you pulled away, but he forcefully nodded his head. You sighed, content in knowing he would honour that.

Bucky's whole body strained to free itself, fury slowly falling away to fear as he looked at you. "Doll, please...Y/N, don't leave us."

"Mo cridhe, this is the only way for you all to live," you said, stumbling forward to gently cup his face, "how can I choose between the three I love more than anything in this universe?"

He choked back a sob. "But, Y/N..."

You pressed a kiss to his lips, holding back tears of your own as thoughts and memories raced through your mind. Discreetly, you slipped your dogtags and the locket you kept with the precious pictures from the 30s, updated with a few from the present, into his pocket. You knew he would need them more than anyone.

Pulling back, you smiled. "What a life we've led, James, what a life..."

"Y/N...mum..." Peter whimpered, sniffing.

Quickly going to him, you enveloped him in a warm embrace. He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, tearings flowing freely.

"My brave, brave boy. I'm so proud of you, Pete. So proud. You remember that, alright? I love you, I did this for all of you."

You kissed his forehead, accidentally smearing your blood over his cheek. He sobbed, head dropping.

"Be a good boy for Bucky, yeah? Listen to him and uncle Steve. Promise me?"

He nodded slowly, voice shaking. "I promise..."

"Good boy, you're a good kid," you said, pressing a hard, final goodbye kiss to his hair.

Drawing away from him took more energy than expected, and you staggered slightly, breathing heavily. You had stopped stemming the blood flow from your side, now the clock was reaching its end.

Thanos waited, patiently expectant, on the cliff edge. You huffed, rolling your shoulders, and walked steadily forward. But you paused, one last time, and looked back at your family.

"Remember how much I love you, all the good days we spent together, our glorious life..." you met Bucky's eyes, the man you called husband, and grinned the most radiantly he ever saw, "because it was glorious, wasn't it?"

You stepped off, and the clouds cradled you on your way to the end of your line. The smile you wore never wavered, neither did your resolve falter, thinking of golden days of youth and love, the laughter of the family you built ringing in your ears.

Their screams followed you all the way down, your name in their mouths the last thing you ever heard.