Bucky Angst - Blog Posts

The Greatest Gift of All

(Inspired by^ for the people who asked :D hope it was worth the wait!)

*

Long before the war, before Captain America or the Winter Soldier, there was simply Bucky and Steve. At least, that's what history says. But they missed out one very important person, a girl called Y/N.

Women in those times often found themselves with little opportunity, and only two easily attainable pathways in life: wife and mother. But Y/N carved out a life for herself that defied all expectations, and it all started in Brooklyn.

She dived headlong into scuffles, usually next to Bucky in defence of Steve. Regardless of the opponent, Y/N stood by them both, and often held her own quite impressively.

Her dress style borrowed from more masculine cuts, and Y/N was never seen without her cap. A lot of people had a problem with this, but she shut them up fairly swiftly.

Everything about this girl drew Bucky in, a battle he fought with little effort. They reveled in each other, flaunting their love at every opportunity. More than a few were jealous that the rough and tumble girl got the best looking boy in town. 

In a way, before even coming of age, they started an adult life together. The three of them moved into a flat. Y/N and Bucky took hard labour jobs, or anything they could get. They had little room to be picky. 

Both managed to hook steady summer jobs at the local docks. They used most of their money to keep a roof over their heads, buy food, and pay for Steve's medical needs. He attended art school, and sold his work every now and then; but physically, he was in no condition to work.

The war appeared on the horizon, just as they started to pull themselves an inch above the poverty line. Y/N saw it coming, the inevitable. She treasured every second they spent together, and dreaded the day when the draft came.

A lot of the older women she worked with were disrespectful, looking down on her pre-marital relationship with Bucky. They claimed she couldn't possibly understand their grief, despite the fact Y/N had seen Bucky off at the docks that very morning. 

In truth, they already planned on being married, but at the time, they simply didn't have the funds. Bucky promised, once the war ended, that ring would be on her finger.

Except, he never came home. Not properly. The person Hydra gave back to Y/N was damaged and jaded, angry at the world, angrier than she ever saw. But still, they loved each other. Though she never forgave them for stealing away his innocence, for trying to snuff out the light in his soul. A part of him would always belong to them, and she hated it.

Refusing to stay home while they risked their lives, never knowing, Y/N trained as an army nurse, working specially with the Howling Commandos unit.

Then one day, she went out to welcome them back from a mission. Every face looked devastated, but none more so than Steve. His eyes, red-raw and streaming, seemed incapable of rising from the ground. At first, the realisation didn't process, the idea simply incomprehensible. He promised.

Dugan was the one to finally break through and catch Y/N as she fell, holding her as the tears poured. Once he shook off his daze, Steve took his place, sharing in her grief.

Her world fell apart so quickly, with no warning and no mercy. Their commanders celebrated the capture of Arnim Zola, while Y/N and Steve sat, staring at an empty place at their side.

Everyone mourned Bucky, and swiftly after, began to mourn Y/N, too. The loss took a part of her...the sparkle, the happiness, the laugh that lit up her face. It all vanished. She worked hard, looked after them all, but only Steve was able to make her smile. Even then, it looked pained.

So when Steve went down with the plane, the very last shred of Y/N died with him. No tears left her eyes, no screams ripped up her throat. A cold numbness took over, freezing the woman from the inside out. 

V-Day came and went. The Commandos stood and drank to their lost comrades, and Dugan silently drank another...for the loss of a bright, fiery girl who had virtually nothing to lose, and still lost everything.

She spent her days as a robot, doing nothing but going through the motions of badly imitating life. The flat was empty and quiet, yet somehow, bursting with the ghosts of her loved ones. Nightmares plagued her, terrible images of Bucky's body, forever trapped in a freezing hell, nothing but food for the birds. And Steve, his body...was it cast adrift in the ocean? Or destroyed, burnt to ash in the belly of a metal beast. 

They were simple folk before the war turned them into soldiers, into weapons. Before symbols and flags stole away their names, driving them to sacrifice their lives for a greater cause.

Y/N knew their fight against Hydra was important...knew the honour behind their sacrifice. But when it's you left sitting at an empty dinner table, it's much easier to be angry and bitter.

She never married, never settled, bouncing around countries working as an army nurse. The Commandos slowly died around her, each one fading to grey as the curtain drew the show to a close. Each death, each funeral ripped open her wounds, bigger and deeper each time. Until eventually, Y/N let the blood flow freely.

Or at least, that's what would have happened. But one choice, one decision, made by a boy she thought dead in the far future, changed it all.

*

Bucky Barnes struggled to find himself again. His memories were mostly all returned, if a bit hazy and fragmented. He had Steve there to right any wrong recollections, and connect with on their shared experiences. But something always seemed to be missing, a piece of the jigsaw that hadn't been found.

He remembered Y/N. He remembered her clearer than anything. She was glowing like honey in the sun when Bucky closed his eyes and brought her back to mind.

Face covered in muck, hair tousled and streaked with grease from the boats, soot on the very tip of her nose and a cap perched jauntily on her head; wearing the deepest expression of concentration as she aimed a hanful of rotten fish guts at the sleezy Connell boy from Fifth, who decided his opinion on her backside mattered. The image shone crystal clear. Her laughter, rolling out from between curved lips, beautiful and full of mischief. 

It never failed to make him smile. Or cry. Or sometimes, both. He missed Y/N than he thought possible for a human being. 

Bucky often wondered about her life, whether she went on to marry, or maybe even have children. Was she happy? Did she bury him and move on? If they met today, would Y/N even recognise the man he was now? 

More importantly, in his mind, something he both feared and longed to know: would she still love him?

Unbeknownst to Bucky, Steve saw all this. Understood, to a degree, his pain. But he and Peggy never got the chance to bond so strongly. He knew Bucky needed him, but Steve also knew he needed Y/N more.

So once his goodbyes were said, he looked one last time at Bucky, and smiled beneath his suit as he vanished into time.

*

The living room looked exactly the same as he remembered. Bucky's coat, slung over the back of the chair, his sketchbooks strewn around the desk. Every rip and chip. His heart swelled with nostalgia, and pain, thinking of the life they were supposed to have.

What must have been in their heads...running off to fight, so eager to throw everything away. And who was left to stare at empty beds and eat breakfast alone every morning? Y/N.

His chest constricted, hearing the keys in the door, the lock rattling three times before letting her in. His nerve faltered for the briefest second, wondering if he was ready to see her again.

"Who the hell are you?!"

Time's up.

Slowly, he turned, and watched as Y/N's eyes widened, all the bags in her hands falling to the floor with a crash.

"...Stevie?" The name came out as a whisper, nearly inaudible.

He grinned, laughing as tears stung his eyes. "Hey, spitfire. Long time no see."

"Steve!" She launched herself at him, arms wrapping around his neck and clinging on for dear life. 

Catching her by the waist, he swung Y/N around, burying his face in her hair. They held onto one another as if they might vanish if they let go. But after a minute, Steve gently pushed her back.

"How? How are you here? What are you wearing? I don't understand, Steve, they said you died! Your plane went down in the ocean," she stammered, hand on his forearm with a grip like a vice.

"I survived. The serum kept me alive in the ice for seventy years," he said, questioning his own sanity momentarily; standing in the flat again made everything that happened seem like a distant dream.

Y/N frowned, brows knitting together. "What? Did you hit your head? Steve, this is 1945."

"I know, I came from 2023. I'm alive," he said, and saw her mentally backing away, so added, "I'm alive, and so is Bucky."

Her head snapped up, eyes immediately filling with tears. A dozen emotions whizzed through them in a second; disbelief, pain, hope. It shone clearly in her face as she stepped closer.

What did you say?" She asked, voice choked as she brought her shaking hands up to her mouth.

"Bucky's alive," he repeated softly, "and I can send you to him, in the future. But we don't have a lot of time. You need to listen to me, carefully, and do what I say."

She spluttered, struggling for words. "I, but...what about you?"

"I've made my decision," Steve said, and gently took her hands in his, "now, please, listen."

*

Bucky watched the machine, feeling a wave of numbness wash over his insides. Nothing was a better deal than the pain, the cruel sting of betrayal fighting to be felt. But he beat it back, unable to allow those thoughts validation.

Steve gave up so much for him, he fought for years to get him here. Steve deserved this. And no matter how wrong those words sounded in his head, he resolutely stood by them. 

The seconds ticked by, noted by Bruce's countdown. A flash of guilt almost made Bucky explain what was going to happen, explain that Steve left them. Left him. But he possessed no energy to speak, they'd see in a second, when no one appeared-

Zap. A blinding flash of light.

There's someone there.

Bucky frowned, hands falling from his pockets. Did Steve change his mind? Did he...

All the thoughts in his head stopped as the figure stepped down. Too small, too lithe for it to be Steve. Bucky's heart rate quickened, something in his unconscious already registering his recognition. 

The suit fell away, and if he weren't frozen in place, Bucky wouldn't have been standing. A quiver shot through him, nearly buckling his knees. Shock, fear and pure disbelief all delayed his reaction.

Y/N looked around, amazed, but turned to stone as she set eyes on him. Her face went utterly blank, a strangled sound leaving her lips.

Wearing her yard slacks, with a small bag on her shoulder, her face covered in dirt, hair streaked with grease, cap perched on-top, slanted to one side...she was everything he remembered, and his heart tried to leave his chest to go to her. To be whole again.

But fear held him back. She didn't know the things he'd done, the person he became after the train accident. What if-

"Who is she?" Sam asked, glaring as he stalked towards her, an accusation rising on his lips.

Bucky answered without hesitation, or thinking; the question had been asked countless times over the years. It always recieved the same reply. "My doll."

Sam stopped short, glancing between them, the way neither took their eyes off the other. He nodded, brows still closely knit, and backed off.

Slowly, Y/N approached, encouraged by the sound of his voice. She reached out carefully, when she got close enough. Trembling fingers brushed his cheek, and a shudder ran through her. 

"My Bucky..." She said quietly, eyes roaming over his face, a small smile tugging at her lips, "...you're here, in front of me. Alive."

He swallowed dryly, heart thundering away beneath his skin. "I'm different...you don't know..."

No sooner had the words left his mouth that her eyes found the cold metal where his flesh used to be. In reaching to hold it, she'd been taken by surprise.

Gently, Y/N took the hand in her own, examing the limb with a careful gaze. Moments passed, and she met his eyes again. Bucky steeled himself for rejection, for the disgust and horror.

Her hand went back to his cheek, and he involuntairly leaned into it. The warmth seeped into his blood. She stood on her tip toes, the smile on her lips blossoming into a bright beam of sunlight. "You've always been my Bucky, and always will be. Metal appendages and all."

He fell apart and dove down to capture her lips, clutching her to him with the hunger of a starving man. She pulled herself in, hands tangling in his brown locks, and both tasted salt on the others' lips.

So filled with joy his heart could burst, Bucky revelled in the feeling of holding his girl again. Laughing through the tears, he buried his face in her neck.

Thank you, Steve, for the greatest gift of all.

Mourning Bucky After His Death in 1945

(Inspired by^ this channel is wonderful, their ambiences always get my head in the right place for writing: beware, angst)

You got the news late, when the Commandos came back from the mission...and there was one missing. They didn't need to say a thing - the gap in their ranks, and the look on Steve's face, said it all.

Being a nurse, you couldn't stop to feel the pain or even really process it. But once the rush ended, and you stepped into the quiet street, everything fell on you at once. Tears poured, and your heart felt like it could burst. Bucky usually picked you up when your breaks came. His absence hit you like a truck.

Instead, you walked along the street in a thin army uniform and shivered all the way. A bitter wind blew through Brooklyn this time of year, but the cold you felt had little to do with the weather.

Somehow, your feet brought you to the old docks where Bucky worked through the summers. That was years ago, now, and seemed like a different life. You couldn't help but smile, recalling the laughter and choice language that used to fill the air.

Once, when you began to realise the full extent of your feelings, you came to the docks and watched him for the whole day. Instead of hiding away how you felt, you relished in it.

Sixteen was a hell of an age to fall in love, especially in the thirties. But reciprocated love...it blossomed and bloomed so beautifully. With Steve, your brother, you and Bucky built a life together.

It was always Steve who talked about their future...without him. The sickly boy never expected to live past thirty, and, despite how painful the idea was, neither did they.

Never in a million years did you imagine Bucky going first.

You couldn't hold it anymore. The sobs ripped out, and you sank to the ground by the water. One hand tightly clasped the other, a cold, glinting ring pressing into your skin. A promise, a commitment...now nothing but a memory. The life you talked about, planned so dreamily, even in the face of the war, gone. Destroyed in an instant.

Deep hatred and a desire for vengance reared its head in you. Bucky always said you and Steve were too alike. But the decision already cemented itself in your mind.

When Steve crashed the Valkyrie, no one was left behind. Two days before, you had vanished on a mission in Switzerland - presumed dead. He had nothing, not even Peggy, really, to keep him on Earth.

Little did he know, that the two sweethearts had been reunited. And Hydra would make good use of them both.

You Sacrifice Your Life for Your Family: Steve, Bucky, Peter.

(Inspired by^)

You stared at Thanos, shivering from the icy wind billowing around the mountain top. Blood dripped from your lip, and splattered over your side where your arm was tucked to give some semblance of support.

His eyes were like nothing you ever saw - soulless, determined, and utterly focused on this one goal. Another shiver ran through you. This time, it had nothing to do with the wind.

"You choose one to die," he said, speaking softly, "the others live."

Your eyes drifted over their faces. Steve, Bucky and Peter. The three most important people in your life; a brother, a partner, and an adopted son. Thanos chose well, you thought bitterly.

They were scattered in the snow, beaten and bloodied, held in place by the power of the stones. Their eyes searched for you, wide, panicked, fearful. You smiled, but it faded too quickly to be genuine.

"If..." you turned back to Thanos, determinedly avoiding the others, "what if I die? Do they all live?

Thanos cocked his head, curiosity glinting in his eyes. A chorus of protest rose immediately from her left, pleading and desperate struggling.

"Yes," Thanos said, and triumph burned in his voice; this was the outcome he wanted.

"Y/N, no!" Steve hissed, "don't you dare. I'll die, pick me!"

You finally faced them properly, smiling softly at your brother, answering him with a slight shake of the head. "No, Steve...this is how it has to be."

He opened his mouth to object again, but your arms wrapping around his torso cut him off. You almost laughed, still expecting to embrace a thinner frame, even after all this time. "Look after them, Stevie. Look after yourself."

His face was wet as you pulled away, but he forcefully nodded his head. You sighed, content in knowing he would honour that.

Bucky's whole body strained to free itself, fury slowly falling away to fear as he looked at you. "Doll, please...Y/N, don't leave us."

"Mo cridhe, this is the only way for you all to live," you said, stumbling forward to gently cup his face, "how can I choose between the three I love more than anything in this universe?"

He choked back a sob. "But, Y/N..."

You pressed a kiss to his lips, holding back tears of your own as thoughts and memories raced through your mind. Discreetly, you slipped your dogtags and the locket you kept with the precious pictures from the 30s, updated with a few from the present, into his pocket. You knew he would need them more than anyone.

Pulling back, you smiled. "What a life we've led, James, what a life..."

"Y/N...mum..." Peter whimpered, sniffing.

Quickly going to him, you enveloped him in a warm embrace. He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, tearings flowing freely.

"My brave, brave boy. I'm so proud of you, Pete. So proud. You remember that, alright? I love you, I did this for all of you."

You kissed his forehead, accidentally smearing your blood over his cheek. He sobbed, head dropping.

"Be a good boy for Bucky, yeah? Listen to him and uncle Steve. Promise me?"

He nodded slowly, voice shaking. "I promise..."

"Good boy, you're a good kid," you said, pressing a hard, final goodbye kiss to his hair.

Drawing away from him took more energy than expected, and you staggered slightly, breathing heavily. You had stopped stemming the blood flow from your side, now the clock was reaching its end.

Thanos waited, patiently expectant, on the cliff edge. You huffed, rolling your shoulders, and walked steadily forward. But you paused, one last time, and looked back at your family.

"Remember how much I love you, all the good days we spent together, our glorious life..." you met Bucky's eyes, the man you called husband, and grinned the most radiantly he ever saw, "because it was glorious, wasn't it?"

You stepped off, and the clouds cradled you on your way to the end of your line. The smile you wore never wavered, neither did your resolve falter, thinking of golden days of youth and love, the laughter of the family you built ringing in your ears.

Their screams followed you all the way down, your name in their mouths the last thing you ever heard.

Piece of art 💓🦇

unsolved masterlist

Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or any shits left to give, to make things even worse.

(Buzzfeed unsolved AU)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, horror/paranormal elements

Disclaimer: no plot just vibes <3 it's just another banger dynamic that i loved and therefore had to write a garbage fic about. This is, in no way, a literary masterpiece so just be warned.

Here’s my Ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing!

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Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

- his secret -

Vampire bucky x female y/n.

you’ve been dating your military boyfriend for about 2 years but what you didn’t know is that he has a dark secret. 1940s bucky barnes x Steve’s twin sister, y/n. Blood!Angst!darkthemes!Y/N’s pov

The war had been over for four years now, four years ago we met. Although I remember it like it was yesterday.

- four years earlier-

It was a normal day to say the least, I went to work with the girls as we all had to because the men of the house where still at war, once I was back, I unlocked the door to mine and Steve’s apartment. The apartment was small and stuffy but it was home. I place my purse upon the counter top which was decorated with a stack of newspapers and two navy jackets.

I rub my eyes as if a trick of reality had fallen upon me from the lack of sleep and rest I have had the last couple of years. Upon my eyes focusing back on the jackets I was lead to the fact he was finally home.

I push the door for the living room and there he is “oh my, Steve” I say in shock, my hands covering my mouth as my brother, the star spangled man is stood in the living room of our apartment. He is so much taller and muscular now than before, i once heard about the super soldier serum and how Steve was chosen to be it’s subject, i then heard about the test working, after that day steve was all over the tabloids and propaganda posters.

Snapping me out of my trance Steve’s now deeper voice beams through the small room “oh how I’ve missed you y/n, I have someone you must meet” he says whilst engulfing my tiny body in a hug, once we break from the hug, I am aware of the other person in the room.

I look at the other man, his pale skin fills the room with light, his pale pink lips, puffy and chapped from the winters frost. His eyes, deep blue alike to the blue of a lapis crystal you see in travelers show. His dark hair contrasts his pale skin, his face is home to war scars and newer cuts.

Once again breaking out of yet another trance, the man is ushered toward me by Steve “this is my dearest friend and colleague, Sargent James Buchanan Barnes” the man then smiles a little toward me.

“please mind my manners, hello, I’m y/n, Steve’s sister” I say with a smile and an extended hand just as any lady should.

He links out hands and we are both share a handshake “I’m terribly sorry for the intrusion doll, you can call me James”

- present day 1949 -

After that first encounter, Steve’s mission was always to set me and James up, what more would a man want for his sister than his closest friend to be wed with her.

Me and James have been together for two years now and I’ve never been happier than I am now, Steve has a child with his now wife Margaret in who he met during his time in the military.

For the past year, after his business trip, James has been acting a little weird, I had recently pinned it down to some European sickness but upon the trip to the doctors office, there was no diagnosis for the illness.

In the past six months, he had stopped going out during the day and decided to start taking the night shift at his office to try avoid human contact as much as possible. He had been suffering with his senses, saying it is as if they had been turned up to 100 and that he could hear things that I couldn’t, this had me concerned and confused.

However, now he seems to have gotten used to this mysterious sickness, as if he had accepted whatever he has and has decided to use it to his advantage.

It’s finally our two year anniversary, today and our neighbour, Agnes had helped me set up a scenic atmosphere within the house before she went to work for the day, James had taken the day shift to the fact he wanted to get off earlier to spend his day with his ‘doll’.

I change into one of my best dresses, dinner already upon the candle lit table, I hear the door unlock and the steps of my lover coming into the room, he walks in, looking as handsome as ever. His eyes light up as he sees the layout of the room, he brings a box into view. A pink boutique clothing store box with a pink ribbon and a bouquet of roses on top of the box in which he sets down upon the table. He latches his hand upon my waist and pulls me in for a kiss, upon pulling away “happy anniversary doll” he says in a deep voice. We share a couple of kisses before sitting down, he ushers me to open my gift as he places the flowers in a vase.

I pull the end of the pink ribbon, allowing the box to be opened, I take the lid off of the box, in the box is a dress I had been eyeing up in a designer shop a few months ago “oh james, it’s dashing darling, thank you” I say with a hand over my mouth in awe to the man sat in front of me. “Your welcome my love. This dinner looks stunning doll” he states whilst picking up his cutlery and taking a bite of the food, with a smile I do the same and we eat while making conversation about the new shows playing in the local theatre.

After thirty or so minutes we are both finished and I had taken the plates into the kitchen, and cleaned them before making my way back to my boyfriend.

What I see next is the one thing I would’ve never expected within my life time. I see my boyfriend in the middle of the bedroom, we share, a pool of blood at his feet, and one of his newer colleagues in his grasp as he places his mouth to the neck of the older man. I stand in the doorway in shock and disbelief. “James” I say with a gasp. He drops the now dead man and turns to look at me, blood pours down his chin from his mouth. He looks healthier than ever as he says “y/n I can explain please sit dear” his two front canine teeth have been transformed into sharp fangs, he walks over to the door, pulling me into the room, onto the bed.

“what are you?” I say with a shaky voice as I sit on the bed with him.

“When I went on that business trip in Europe I was attacked by some men. One of them bit me, it’s called vampirism, the doctor has found my diagnostics the week I had came back but I had payed him off to not tell you or anyone. I’m so sorry doll” he says with an apologetic look as he wipes the blood off of his face.

“you mean to tell me the folklore stories are of truth” I look into his eyes, he is serious. My boyfriend is a vampire.

hey guys it’s spooky season so this is the start of my halloween tropes + mcu characters. I’m sorry this wasn’t longer, I’ve never wrote for Bucky, I don’t know how he would act but my friend requested vampire Bucky so this is as good as it’ll get. Please feel free to drop some more ideas for these stories. have a great day guys.