After Reading All The Available Books By Ali Hazelwood, I Have Come To The Conclusion That She Has Types.

Glaciator Ice Creams

I found it so interesting in S2EP9 of Miraculous Ladybug, the ice creams Andre chose for Adrian and Marinette. 

Marinette’s ice cream had a red cherry (for his lips), mint ice cream (for his eyes), and some unnamed base (which I’m guessing is supposed to represent his hair - so maybe homemade vanilla? Or pineapple or banana or lemon... Though I’d like to think it’s honey :3 ).

Adrian’s ice cream had strawberry with chips of dark chocolate ice cream (for her costume), blackberry ice cream (for her hair) and blueberry ice cream (for her eyes), and topped with a red cherry that apparently has no significance.

What I found so interesting it that Andre chose combinations that represented the version our two lovebirds are infatuated with.

Marinette is in love with the non superhero version - Adrian. So her ice cream represents the object of her affection that she perceives (AKA, not Chat Noir, so there’s no black).

With Adrian, he’s in love with Ladybug - the superhero. His ice cream flavors are meant to reflect Ladybug’s appearance, not Marinette’s (otherwise I think that bottom layer would be pink instead of red).

Though ultimately, which side is the true version of each protagonist? And are they each falling in love with the person at their core, or just the facade? Just some things I wonder about :3

Once upon a time rambling

Just saw the season finale of Once upon a time. I had a feeling Emma's kiss would work on Henry. Was not expecting it to give back everyone's memories. I was sooooooo happy that Rumple and Belle found each other again!!! Didn't like that look he had on his face at the end though. That really worries me. I was hoping he would finally be a good guy. And just how is bringing magic to our world going to help him reunite with his son? (Latest suspicion: Baelfire wrote the fairy tales book)

Tell Shonda you want more scenes of Nicola

https://chng.it/9W2rWwgjHY

Done! I don’t know how much better those deleted scenes are but fingers crossed this at least gets the message across that fans aren’t happy.

My bedroom bookshelves:

The main reading collection

Closeup on my Thrawn collection

And my Darth Maul collection

(And in case anyone was wondering why I have shelves dedicated to SW characters, it’s because all my other favorite books are too obscure to have merch)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Dark Side of Dimensions Movie Reaction!

My nostalgic heart is all a flutter from seeing Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark Side of Dimensions!!!

Whenever I look back on the original series, I can’t help but laugh at how cheesy (and so easy to make fun of) it was. Everything was so dramatized, despite the fact that all the fights were centered around and settled by playing a children’s card game.

But watching YGO DSD brought back those excited and heart pounding feelings I got when I first watched the series and began collecting the trading cards.

It rekindled my admiration and awe of animation, the childlike glee from obvious but still humorous lines, and most importantly, the ups and downs of watching an epic story unfold and holding your breath with the characters as fights get down to the last wire.

In the back of your mind you know it has to turn out but you don’t know exactly how and you’re at the edge of your seat waiting for it to come but at the same time never wanting it to end.

But the story does end (in a way), though I wasn’t left feeling disappointed. I don’t know what it is about Japanese stories but somehow whenever a favorite series of mine ends, I’m not angry or sad. I simply feel...content. And that is the mark of a truly great story to me. A story that you enjoyed experiencing to its fullest and even when it ends, you are left with a sense of satisfaction, because you know the memories of experiencing the story are more important than it coming to an end.

So when I left the theater after seeing YGO DSD, I felt light again, like the carefree kid I was when I first discovered YGO. If it wasn’t for the YGO franchise, I never would have gotten into writing or drawing. So thank you, Takahashi-sama, for creating a series that sparked my imagination and continues to inspire me!

And now onto total silliness to lighten up the mood!

SPOILER ALERT!

While I was pretty happy to see that Kaiba finally got his chance to face the Pharaoh again, I can’t help but think Atem isn’t going to be wearing that smirk for very long...

Several weeks after Kaiba’s first visit...

Kaiba: *bursting into the throne room* PHARAOH! FACE ME IN A DUEL!

Atem: *groaning* Oh, dear gods, not you again! Haven’t you had enough yet?

Kaiba: No! I will not leave until I defeat you once and for all!

Atem: *sighing* Fine. Let’s get this over with.

Approximately thirty minutes later...

*Kaiba in the lead with 8000 life points while Atem only has 100*

Kaiba: *thinking to himself* Something isn’t right here. This whole time the pharaoh has done nothing to defend his life points or make a move on mine. What’s his game? Is this part of some ultimate strategy that involves letting his life points almost reach zero and thus enabling him to wipe me out in one move? Does he have a card that can do that?! Is there a card that can do that?!?!?

Atem: Kaiba, would you just hurry up and destroy the rest of my life points already? If we don’t end this soon I’m going to be late for my weekly council meeting.

Kaiba: Wait a minute...you’ve been letting me win on purpose! You haven’t been trying at all!

Atem: Look, would you just take the win and leave me alone, already? I’ve got a country to run and your constant visits are disrupting my schedule.

Kaiba: This is unacceptable, Pharaoh! I will not leave until I beat you in a duel!

Atem: Now see here; the first few duels were enjoyable, I admit. But now it’s just gotten tedious and it’s only because I’m a good guy that I haven’t Mind Crushed you already (and because Yugi wold probably come after me in a righteous fury for resorting to my YGO Zero days). Look, why not travel further back in time to when I was a kid? You should have no trouble defeating me then.

Kaiba: Because that’s not the same thing! Now duel me properly!

Atem: Gods, I hope Bakura attacks the palace soon...

SPOILER FOR BOOK OF BOBA FETT (episode 6)

*********

My personal head canons:

What Luke is really going to miss when Ahsoka leaves are her stories about the diplomatic general, the queen turned senator turned spy, the hero of the republic, and the adventures (messes) they got themselves in and out of. Especially the bits where his dad did something reckless (stupid) and Obi was snarky about it.

When Ahsoka leaves, Luke tries to get R2 to tell him more stories but the cheeky little droid insists on only telling him about his solo adventures during the clone wars (or claiming the restraining bolt and the thing that tried to eat him on degobah messed with his memory banks).

Every now and then Ahsoka will look at Luke’s hair or eyes, note the color, and smile.

Luke tells Ahsoka about Leía and she’s amazed how much of a mix of Padme and Anakin the twins turned out to be. She’s also not surprised that Padme’s daughter fell for a bad boy ace pilot with a devilish grin.

Luke purposely chose that place for the academy because it has enough wilderness for training - but not the kind that you have to worry about ships sinking into bogs, stepping on slime, and you can always see what’s in the water. Plus, no parent would be willing to leave their kid on degobah.

Inspired by the great and might Starhorse. You can see her original brilliance here http://the-starhorse.deviantart.com/gallery/1060568

Things Fundamentalism Robbed Me Of:

Growing up in a radically conservative Christian household, there were a lot of things that weren’t allowed. It wasn’t until after leaving the “faith”, and then taking time to fully deconstruct things, that I realized just how negatively it affected me.

Part 1: Special Interests

I’m autistic. And part of my autism is having special interests (that I obsess over to a degree that most neurotypical people think is ridiculous). But for me, my special interests bring me such joy and excitement and pleasure in my life. A lot of the time they’re what helps me get through a tough day (and quite frankly, a tough world for me to live in).

When I discovered anime and manga, it was like cotton candy for me. The art styles, the animation techniques, the manga layouts, the characters, the vast array of generes, the easy to understand emotions portrayed - it was like this entire type of media had been designed just for me.

But one look at it, and my mom forbid me from watching and reading any of it. Because it was too “demonic” or “sexual” (EX. Inuyasha-taking major inspiration from Japanese mythology. Sailor Moon-for showing off too much skin). Basically, it wasn’t Christian, and thus, sinful.

Part 2: Body Image

Another special interest of mine is fashion/costume design. Growing up, though, it was subjected to strict guidelines. All because I had to make sure I wasn’t causing a “brother in Christ to sin”.

Which, as a person who went from children to adult sizes almost instantaneously, not to mention grew into a curvy girl, made clothes even more of a touchy subject.

All of my outfits had to be inspected by my mom to make sure they weren’t too tight or revealing or even have a print that was too suggestive, before they could be purchased.

Because of this, I was never able to feel pretty. I was never allowed to think of my body as attractive, let alone sexy.

Whenever I designed outfits or costumes in my sketchbooks - using a very curvy model as a way to feel like my body could be beautiful if given the chance - my mom would tell me to “fix” them because they were too sexualized.

Part 3: Cultural Identity

I’m a proud Latina woman. My father and his family immigrated to the USA when he was a kid. Spending time with his side of my family are some of the happiest memories I have.

But because of the radically conservative beliefs of my parents (or maybe just mostly my mom’s, since I can’t recall if my papi ever setting any of this taboos), I wasn’t allowed to celebrate Día de los Muertos.

This may seem like a small thing, like not being allowed to celebrate Halloween (which we weren’t allowed to do either, and for the same reason as Día de Muertos), but when I found out about it as an adult, I was heartbroken that such a beautiful tradition was banned because it was deemed “pagan”.

In Short:

I was robbed of so much because of fundamental christianity.

I can’t help but wonder how my life would have been different if I had been allowed to embrace major aspects of myself: my autism, my body type, my heritage.

Part of me is always going to mourn the years I lost. And I wish, more than anything, that I could go back and tell my younger self - the little girl who lived in fear and was forced to live by beliefs set by privileged white men - that one day, she would be FREE.

What I Love About Black Widow 2021

SPOILERS, so read at your own risk ;)

There are so many things I absolutely loved about the Black Widow movie it would be insane to try and mention all of them, but I'm going to hit some of my favorites:

Firstly, we get to really see Nat shine as a fully fleshed out and relatable character, rather than obligatory female member and eye candy.

She doesn't like letting people get close to her because when she does, she tends to love them with all her heart and will do anything for them. So when they betray her or are taken away, the pain is so overwhelming that it's easier to try and forget them, and keep everyone else at a distance. But even after all that time has passed, you can see she never really let her loved ones go; they were always in her heart and she will always love them (something I can relate to).

And it's not just her family she cares about. She cares about other people, even the ones who try to kill her. She tried to save that first Widow that went after them - grab her before she fell, and then tried to administer first aide. When she sees that there are more girls enslaved, she risks her life to get their information so they can be freed. She doesn't leave Antonia in her cell to die, but lets her out, and then frees her by using one of the few remaining Red Dust cures, which was a risk because they could have needed it in order to create more, and she couldn't have known for sure it would work on Antonia.

Nat shows that compassion and mercy are not weaknesses, but the ultimate strengths.

But she's not without flaws, flaws and regrets that still haunt her. You see the relief in her eyes when she realizes she didn't kill Antonia, but then the guilt of knowing it was her fault she was turned into Taskmaster. To me, it sounded like she was apologizing for both. And it's those feelings of guilt and regret and the need to apologize that really make her human.

And then we see the other Widows take Antonia with them. My bestie put it like this: "Girls helping other girls regardless of what they've been through or done is really so universally powerful."

I love how the underlying themes of family, pain, guilt, mercy, compassion, and inner strength were so prominent in this film and yet, it wasn't preachy. I feel like the best messages are the ones that show rather than tell.

Now onto the not so heavy things I loved:

(Okay, this one is kinda heavy), Loved that despite having been apart for so long, Nat and Yelena easily fall back into being sisters. It's how I am with mine and the film was able to portray that so well.

Love how much of dork Yelena is about her vest and it's pockets. Actually, love how much of a dork Yelena is period. With her disgust of 'poses', blunt observations, and comments on whether something is a cool way to die. (and another slightly heavy love - the fact that she got her dog and named it after the alias Nat pointedly disliked).

Red Guardian being a horrible dad but still trying so hard anyway, because he loves his family and refuses to give up.

All the action scenes. Seriously. Love those action scenes. But also really appreciate the pacing that allowed the characters and audience to breathe.

Melina being the best mom. Every moment she has is a Best Mom moment.

Costumes were amazing. (I want that vest, including all the pockets).

That the director was a woman. Yes to more female directors!

The witty dialogue between all the characters in every scene. Seriously, none of those jokes let me down and had me laughing so hard.

The fact that we get to see a low-key call back to Nat's introduction in Avengers where she pretends to be helpless in order to get the bad guys to reveal their 'diabolical plans'. Works every time.

Still am super sad that Nat Black Widow is dead in the MCU, but I'm thrilled she got to go off on a super high note.

...

Soooo, there actually was one thing I didn't like (but it certainly didn't ruin the movie for me, I am going to watch it again and again and get so much merch).

But I had a problem with Taskmaster.

To me, Taskmaster had the potential to be Marvel's Thrawn (a different sort of main threat that forces the established heroes to struggle in ways they haven't had to before and defeat said threat using new skills). So to treat Taskmaster as more of a throwaway cameo character was disappointing. Because honestly, the story doesn't need them. They could have been swapped with any random Widow and the plot would have stayed exactly the same - having Taskmaster in the movie doesn't add to the story in any way. So I'm hoping Marvel will have someone else take on the mantle and we really get to see them as a major threat.

But other than that, THE MOVIE WAS AMAZING!!! 9/10 from me. It has become one of my top three best/favorite Marvel movies for me, alongside Captain America: the First Avenger and Black Panther.

Is this Imposter Syndrome?

A question for writers (though basically if anyone can answer this, I'd welcome them):

Q: Have you ever put so much energy into completing a project, a project very near and dear to you, get that intoxicating sense of accomplishment when you finish it and then... in the editing process go through a series of conflicting thoughts and emotions?

Stuff like: I've already written 5 other very distinct versions of this story, I'm not happy with this so I might as well do it over again.

Or: Well, the point was to prove I could finish something, and they say the first book you write is always the worst, so why should I spend so much time and effort trying to fix this when I should move onto another completely unrelated project?

BUT: I've been trying to write this story since I was 15 and I started actively working on this version for 6 years and only now have it completed, so I owe it to myself and the story to at least try to fix it! Even though in trying to fix it I feel like I'm only making the story worse!!!