Anisomorpha - Wiems

more bugs more drinking

— Richard Siken, from „Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out“ in Crush

Sharks, orcas, wolves, mongooses, hawks, owls, eagles, big cats, snakes, piranhas, centipedes, preying mantises, scorpions, spiders, squids, komodo dragons, polar bears, sea lions, crocodilians: entire groups of life adapted to eat absolutely nothing but the raw flesh of other creatures. Our society recognizes all of these as iconic killing machines. They all occupy a position in our collective consciousness that teeters between majestic warrior hunter and grim terrifying murder monster. Embodiments of nature's ferocity. Agents of death.

Frogs: an entire group of life adapted to eat absolutely nothing but the raw flesh of other creatures. We think they're silly guys who ought to wear floppy hats perhaps

I used to talk super openly and plainly about my experiences with illness/grief/etc because I thought if anything it would make others feel more comfortable to share their experiences too. Then a couple years ago someone I love started making jokes about me "energy vampire"ing people when I talk about traumatic events in my life. I didn't even realize how hurtful it was at first and when I explained it, they sincerely apologized and stopped, but are now no longer in my life and this feeling just kind of lives in the back of my mind now like maybe that's why I've never been able to keep a lasting friendship/relationship. Because just being around me takes too much energy for people to figure out how to react and I never even realized that it came across like I was just trying to get sympathy or pity or push my problems onto them, so I'm much more selective in what I say now but the whole thing is unbelievably isolating.

Having a traumatic childhood means you cannot talk even objectively about your basic foundational experiences without it being "venting", even if you're not actually venting. You just straight up have a huge chunk of your life you can't talk about, full stop, without it being trauma dumping.

And it not being socially acceptable to talk about your own childhood is super alienating. Sometimes people want to know why, and any answer you can give them is going to be off putting.

It's to the point I get irritated when something I said is framed as venting when I'm literally just talking about my life experiences, doing my best to keep emotion out of it.

my "i don't need a rabies shot because i eat the vaxx-laced meatballs that fish & wildlife leaves out for the coyotes" shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

dont talk to me til ive fucked my coffee

I’m learning about worms.

I am once again thinking about digging holes

It's so fucked up that digging a bunch of holes works so well at reversing desertification

I hate that so much discourse into fighting climate change is talking about bioenginerring a special kind of seaweed that removes microplastics or whatever other venture-capital-viable startup idea when we have known for forever about shit like digging crescent shaped holes to catch rainwater and turning barren land hospitable

It’s 2024 how do people still believe “zoos are prisons”