Here’s A Video Of Me From This Morning When I Went Nonverbal, I’m Using ASL (American Sign Language)

Hi! Just wanted to let you know you're doing awesome and I'm proud of you!

Thank you so much. 😊 we appreciate you!

I love that my freind is so accepting of our system that he almost likes one of my alters more than me. It’s increasingly funny how much Hunter and him vibe.

Now to introduce him to the overwhelmingly gay presence that is Angelo.

-Apollo

Having to choose between being awake and feeling like crap or being tired at but not dizzy and lightheaded because caffeine and heart problems don’t mix.

Spoiler alert, I went ahead and drank the caffeine. Feel like crap but at least I’m not dozing off.

-Apollo

Waves!!

I see you in our notes on @crow-collective15 a lot and wanted to say hello!!!

Hi! Hope you are doing well.

-Apollo

I love it when people tell me I have great fashion taste and dress well, then I get to respond with:

“Well duh, what do you think I did with all that time in the closet?”

That’s all, have a good day

-the alphabet mafia of the system

Voice dysphoria is the literal worst. Like, it’s easy enough to avoid our reflection, but damn is it hard to avoid talking when most people don’t know American Sign Language.

Fuck this and me.

-Hunter

-Hunter

[Text: This introject isn't their source.]

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I played the game again today and as of this point I still remember it, let’s see if I do tomorrow, lol

-Apollo

Okay, so on amnesia, there’s this game that I’ve apparently played with my bf FOUR times now. And I don’t remember any of them. Until he told me today I didn’t even realize that I had played a fourth time. And I only knew about the first three because he had told me about them some point after we played.

It is absolutely insane to me how fully I can forget something like that. How totally absolute my brain is when blocking it out. I don’t remember us planning to play, getting ready to play, playing, wrapping up, or whatever we did after that. It’s absolutely insane. And apparently I’ve beat my boyfriend at it several times now.

It’s not an obviously triggering game either, it’s a basic fantasy monster slayer type board game using cats and other furry animal characters. I assume, I don’t remember ever playing it.

The weirdest part to me is that I don’t even remember missing anything. I have no clue when we played, or what we were doing before or after. It legitimately feels like it never even happened and all I have to go off of is my boyfriend’s word, which I do trust, it’s just so bizarre. It’s almost hard to believe any of it happened because of my complete and total lack or recollection of it.

Anyways, I’ve decided next time he brings it out we’ll have to record at least part of the game so I can look back on it.

Okay but can we talk about how annoying it is to switch in to the body and the host put us in a super tight corset and none of us can breathe?

-A male alter in a afab body

I'm watching Good Omens and they happened to make a GREAT analogy for amnesia. Or at least how I often experience it. I've adjusted it to better explain, but this is the outline.

I've moved into empty house that someone used to live in. I don't know who lived here before or what they did, but I can see the evidence that something did. The paint is discolored where the furniture used to be against the walls, there's outlines in the dust where things sat on the shelf, scratches on the floor and doors from over the years.

I don't know what happened, but I can piece together some things by the evidence left behind. My unexplainable triggers and reactions to things give me hints as to what my trauma may be.

I don't know what happened. I'm just looking at where the furniture used to be.