I'm A Circle I Guess. I Think This Test Doesn't Capture The Fact That I Don't Ineract With People That

[Podfic] How to Dissect a Ghost

written by @uniasus, narrated by @apple-sapling

Original work: How to Dissect a Ghost by Uniasus

Full Length: 16:52 | Rating: T

Summary:

Maddie and Jack are determined to further the field of ectobiology by being the first to dissect a ghost - but they didn't realize it would be so complicated!

Thanks to Uniasus for writing and permission to podfic <3

"jealousy is a green eyed monster" danny IS the green eyed monster. sam and tucker tease him for this; he tends to exhibit a pattern of jealousy/wishing to fit in/etc. one day jazz is too busy for him (new friend who is suspiciously little sister shaped) and ofc danny is annoyed. sam goes "wow danny, jealousy really is a green eyed monster." he responds with "I am not jealous and i am not a monster!" the next day theres a ghost terrorizing the city and the ghost is hurting the object of danny's jealousy. He gets called to crime and hes annoyed and scared and oh. he spots the faux sister about to get torn apart and he stays in the air, hovering longer than he'd like admit. she gets hurt and danny feels disgusted. He let this happen. This is his fault. He let his fucked up feelings get the better of him and now he's the monster. He kills the ghost. he doesnt thermos, he kills. He kills bloody and violent and part of him wishes that he were killing himself instead. In the aftermath of it all, the wounded girl being rushed to the hospital, he sits in the guts of the ghost. he sees jazz climbing into the ambulance and he laughs to himself. "jealousy is a green eyed monster."

Chapter 5 of Double Discovery (by @dp-marvel94) podfic is out now!

call him bubonic the way he plagues me

Some Nights Tumblr Version.

Based off this post.

Lyrics:

Some nights, I stay up staring at my laptop

Some nights, I don’t sleep at all

Some nights, I ‘m glad that my dash is never ending

Some nights, I wish I could log off

But I still stay up, I still read your posts

Oh Lord, I’m still not sure why I’m awake at four

What do I scroll for? What do I scroll for?

Most nights, I don’t know anymore…

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa oh oh

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa oh oh

This is it, these are ship wars

What are we fighting for?

Why don’t we read fanfic already?

I was never one to sleep at night - save that for those who have a life

Post twice as much and get half as many likes, but here feels come again

To stay for a while

But that’s alright; I blog from in my bed tonight

I blog because I’m wonderin’ just who I, who I, who I am

Oh, who am I? mmm… I have no life

Well, some nights, I wish that my dash would end

‘Cause I could use some friends for a change

And some nights, I’m scared I’ll hit post limit again

Some nights, I always hit, I always hit…

But I still stay up, I still read your posts

Oh Lord, I’m still not sure why I’m awake at four

What do I scroll for? What do I scroll for?

Most nights, I don’t know… 

So this is it? I sold my soul for this?

Left my social life for this? Or do I have no friends because of this?

(/awkward pause where I didn’t know what to write/)

So log on.

Log on.

Log on,

OH LOG ON!

Well, that is it guys, that is all, scroll twelve pages down and I’m bored again Ten years of this, and only bloggers understand  I’m not sticking ‘round with my folks downstairs; Sorry to leave, mom, I had ship pairs I’m going to be forever alone, all dried up from my laptop brightness My heart is breaking for my OTP and the con that they call “love” ‘Cuz when they look into each other’s eyes… Man, you wouldn’t believe the most amazing things that can come from… Some terrible writers…ahhh…

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh

The other night, you wouldn’t believe the fic I just read about my OTP

I wish it would update already

I wish you’d tag all of your stuff, man.

Why won’t you tag all of your stuff, man? oh…

I’m never logging off

Why would I ever log off Tumblr… oh …

Oh, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh.

Original tags:

But what if one day they all go to a party, black out, and in the morning realize none of them is the ghost king. And the investigation begins. Eventually they figure out who left the party with the title, and what stupid game caused it. Ofc the person no longer have it (it isn't common knowledge among humans how the crown is passed, or they didn't even know they had it), so it turns into a full quest of following breadcrumbs all over the school/college/city.

Danny gives up at some point, bc he doesn't even care for the crown that much. He is dragged along by his friends, and only gets invested again once it turns the crown is/is about to get into possesion of someone who really shouldn't have it (in Dannys opinion - maybe box ghost? Or Vlad? Or Dash?)

The title of ghost king can only be passed through combat. I’ve seen fic prompts and art where defeating Danny in board games or video games or like a stupid bet count as trial by combat.

I’m proposing a crack fic where Danny and all of his friends are constantly trading places as The Ghost King, at first on accident, but then intentionally as they all find increasingly stupid ways to one-up each other.

a smidgen of self indulgent wintertime angst (context not included)

A “minor” lab accident caused Jack and Maddie to be knocked backwards through the portal into the Ghost Zone.

It didn’t take too long for Danny to notice and go in after them in the Specter Speeder, but time in the Zone can be wonky. He has no idea how long it’s been from their perspective, nor how much chaos they could have caused with that time.

So he went in fully expecting to quite possibly emerge in a giant clusterfuck of a battlefield.

Except, it turns out their chaos went in a different direction.

After being forced to interact with ghosts in new contexts, they chilled out about the ghost hunting thing. Instead, they settled into performing more anthropological and ecological studies of the ghosts.

But they’re still them, so they’re the ontological opposite of “subtle” or “low-key”.

They may not be chasing ghosts around guns blazing, but they are chasing them around pestering them with questions. Or stalking them around taking notes on behavior. Or just generally causing unmatched chaos in other ways.

Apparently Maddie ended up leading a revolution in another haunt that was ruled similarly to Aragorn’s, almost becoming a cult leader in the process. Jack broke into Pariah’s Keep and nearly woke up the sealed king to “ask for directions” (or possibly did wake him up; Danny’s heard conflicting rumors. He doesn’t think that that could have happened without anyone noticing, but with his parents he’s never sure).

Danny thinks he heard some Observants mutterings about an “interdimensional incident” too, but he isn’t touching that with a ten foot pole.

Danny now has 2 secret identities.

First is Phantom - he cannot just vanish right after his death - that would be too suspicious. He is not sure if he wants to use his 'civilian' ghost to fight. Maybe he should become his own sidekick to fight off ghost attacks on school? It would save him from coming up with new excuses to slip out of class. 'I need to go to the bathroom' is earning him some odd stares and uncomfortable questions about ghost biology.

The other one is his still-alive body. He now has to pretend to be dead (the irony), but he still has human needs like hunger or sleep. Besides, he would like to use his body sometimes, since he still has one! He is considering telling his parents about his human needs - they already consider him a bit of an anomaly because he is sentient/sane, but he was kinda hoping to change their view on all the ghosts, so he doesn't want to make himself even more of an outlier.

The GIW use a device to forcibly transform Danny into Phantom in an attempt to unmask him to the public.

But thanks to some quick thinking and ghostly shapeshifting, Danny manages to make himself not look like Phantom.

Thus, everyone who isn’t already in the know assumes that the GIW just blatantly murdered some random kid because they thought he was a ghost (which doesn’t even make sense??).

So yeah now everyone is very strongly anti-GIW because What The Fuck, Guys. The Fentons are especially furious about this - just because Danny came back as a ghost and is somehow still sentient/sane (they’ll have to revisit that ghost research later…) doesn’t change that those bastards killed their son!!

I'm practicing manga drawing.