Being In My 20s Is Like I Understand More Of My Mother And Less Than I Ever Have. My Childhood Friends

being in my 20s is like I understand more of my mother and less than i ever have. My childhood friends are strangers to me and there’s no one i know better. i want to drink wine. i never stopped wanting to climb trees. i know more than I’ve ever known before. I don’t know anything at all. i’m seven years old and sixteen and twenty nine and seventy. I can’t tell when i'm happy. I think the only thing that will make me happy is to be little again. i want to be really old. i go to the ocean and feel like nothing matters more than that. in my bedroom everything matters so much. I go to the grocery store every day. i know how to cook a lot of things but the only thing i know how to eat is fried eggs. I can take care of myself but i want to be taken care of. i want to go home and I don't know where that is. i think it may be somewhere inside of me but i’m not sure

More Posts from Aprilsray and Others

3 years ago

omg i have been dying to find fruity desi ppl 😭

are here any cool fruity ass desi people here??

3 years ago

Asexual Lesbians only have 4 moods...

- Constant yearning for a gf

- Trying to fit in both the lesbian community and the asexual community

- Doubting one identity or the other constantly

- Calling yourself a lesbian because you don't want to keep lecturing people on asexuality

3 years ago

Writers need to understand the fundamental difference between a woman who chooses to reject femininity for themselves versus a woman who tries to reject femininity for all women and belittles and mocks any women who choose to be feminine. Femininity is not the enemy. The problem is the lack of agency that prevents women from choosing whether they want to be traditionally feminine or not. Attacking and totally rejecting femininity only upholds the notion that masculinity and men are superior. Women who cut their hair short, wear pants, don't want to have kids, and know how to use a sword or a gun can and should coexist with women who wear dresses, enjoy makeup and jewelry, and spend most of their time in the domestic sphere. The idea that these two kinds of women negate or impede the other defeats the entire purpose of feminism, which is CHOICE and AGENCY. Instead of vying for a world where women have to reject femininity to be considered strong, create a world where women have the choice to fall anywhere they want on the spectrum.

3 years ago

Being ace and being a lesbian is a very unique experience. Like, I’m exclusively attracted to women. Women are works of Art. But I have no desire to do anything sexual.

I just want to wake up every morning next to my beautiful wife and spend each day getting to hug her and make her coffee every morning and maybe feed chickens together while holding hands. I want to make her bread and bake her favorite pie becuase I love her So Much but I don’t have to have sex with her to make me feel loved.

I feel like love is a hot coffee on a cold day made by your favorite person and when they smile all you want to do is stare forever. The sun could explode and you wouldn’t be able to tell because they’re brighter than the sun anyway.

I know for me the sun is a woman. I don’t want to fuck the sun.

Edit: Trans women are women so like, no TERFs. Y’all already took the word “radical” which was awesome in its own right, y’all don’t get this.

3 years ago
James Baldwin, From Giovanni’s Room
James Baldwin, From Giovanni’s Room

James Baldwin, from Giovanni’s Room

(transcript below cut)

”One of these days,” he said. “Everything bad will happen—one of these days.” “Why is it bad?”


He smiled, “Why, you will go home and then you will find that home is not home anymore. Then you will really be in trouble. As long as you stay here, you can always think: One day I will go home.” He played with my thumb and grinned. “N’est-ce pas?”


“Beautiful logic,” I said. “You mean I have a home to go to as long as I don’t go there?”


He laughed. “Well, isn’t it true? You don’t have a home until you leave it and then, when you have left it, you never can go back.”


“I seem,” I said, “to have heard this song before.”


“Ah, yes,” said Giovanni, “and you will certainly hear it again. It is one of those songs that somebody somewhere will always be singing.

3 years ago

2022 books with aro and ace characters

I made a list like this one for both 2020 and 2021 and people seemed to like those posts, so I’m back with a 2022 version. Some of these books already have covers and synopses, while some only have a short deal announcement, but I’ve listed the specific rep for the books I could find it for. If you have any corrections or additions, feel free to add onto the post! Books written by BIPOC are marked with an asterisk.

Aces Wild by Amanda DeWitt (asexual mc + cast; ya thriller/heist novel)

Arden Grey by Ray Stoeve (questioning asexual sapphic mc; ya contemporary)

At the End of Everything by Marieke Nijkamp (aroace mc; ya sci-fi)

Bad at Love by Gabriela Martins* (demisexual mc; ya contemporary)

Cake Eater by Allyson Dahlin (demisexual mc; ya sci-fi)

City of Deceit by Claudie Arseneault (various a-spec characters; adult fantasy)

Everyone Hates Kelsie Miller by Meredith Ireland* (demisexual mc; ya contemporary romance)

Fire Becomes Her by Rosiee Thor (demiromantic bisexual mc; ya fantasy)

Forward March by Skye Quinlan (questioning asexual lesbian mc; ya contemporary)

Funeral Girl by Emma K. Ohland (asexual mc; ya horror)

It Sounds Like This by Anna Meriano* (questioning ace-spec mc, greyromantic greysexual li; ya contemporary)

Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel* (asexual mc; adult fantasy)

Looking for Hope by Elin Annalise (asexual mc; adult contemporary romance

Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky (demisexual gay mc; adult contemporary romance)

Not Good for Maidens by Tori Bovalino (asexual mc; ya fantasy/horror)

Not Your Type by Elizabeth Jeannel (sapphic asexual mc; (new?) adult contemporary romance)

Silver in the Mist by Emily Victoria (asexual mc; ya fantasy)

Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall (demisexual mlm mc; adult historical romance)

The Bruising of Qilwa by Naseem Jamnia* (aroace nonbinary mc; adult fantasy)

The Butterfly Assassin by Finn Longman (aroace mc; ya thriller)

The Circus Infinite by Khan Wong* (asexual panromantic mc; adult sci-fi)

The City of Dusk by Tara Sim* (asexual mc; adult fantasy)

The Fae Keeper by H.E. Edgmon* (demi-panromantic demisexual li; ya fantasy)

The Kindred by Alechia Dow* (demisexual mc; ya sci-fi)

The Romantic Agenda by Claire Kann* (asexual mc; adult contemporary romance)

The Summer of Bitter & Sweet by Jen Ferguson* (demisexual mc; ya contemporary)

The Trouble with Robots by Michelle Mohrweis (asexual mc; mg contemporary)

3 years ago

re: terms of endearment, the tibetan nyingdu-la, which translates roughly to “most honored poison of my heart” - the translation being im sure only a fraction as breathtaking as it is in tibetan - haunts me day in and day out

2 years ago
| Jungkook (BTS) ‘ Me, Myself, And Jungkook Time Difference ’ | Wallpapers | ›› Please Give Credits
| Jungkook (BTS) ‘ Me, Myself, And Jungkook Time Difference ’ | Wallpapers | ›› Please Give Credits
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1 year ago
Annie Ernaux, From A Girl's Story

Annie Ernaux, from A Girl's Story

Text ID: her desire and madness, her idiocy and pride, her hunger and her blood that ceased to flow.

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