TMR Fic Idea

@fairycosmos / Comic by @shhhitsfine / Comic by @incendavery

I made another thing.

With apologies to Neil Gaiman.

sensing a pattern…

So as a follow-up to my post about Marceline's super tragic and angsty prequel to the Elements Arc hidden in the episode ‘Ketchup’ yesterday, here’s a fun little ‘What-If?’ idea I’ve been thinking about for a while that could branch off from it:

If Marceline really did go all ‘feral, angry vampire girlfriend warpath’ on Patience both for what she did to Bonnie and also to find a way to help Bonnie, what if Marcy went a little… further?

So that when Finn, Jake and BMO later return to what was once the Candy Kingdom in Skyhooks, we see that Marceline, even ‘Marshmaline the Campfire Queen’, is conspicuously absent.

Then later, when Finn, Jake and Ice King are traveling through the new, desolate Ice Kingdom, they start hearing a soulful, sorrowful tune echoing through the otherwise silent wastes. A song sung by a very familiar voice…

And when the trio finally get inside the new Ice Palace, they find not Patience St. Pim, but rather Marceline the Ice Queen.

Basically, what if in her rage at Patience and desperation to find some way of helping Bonnie, Marcy actually devoured Patience’s soul, and thus inadvertently became the NEW Ice Elemental herself?

Now funny enough, I feel like this change wouldn’t actually have much of an effect on the Elements Arc itself. For one, I highly doubt that Marceline would be in any condition/willingness to actually help Finn and Jake. Remember that the effects of Ice Elemental contamination induce overwhelming ennui and depression.

So if that got dumped onto Marceline of all people? In the midst of her losing Bonnie to her own elemental corruption? Yeah, at this point I think our girl isn’t going to have the will to do more than stay cooped up in her new ice tower singing angsty, gay love songs for her lost candy girlfriend/soulmate with her new ice-fox backup choir. Now of course they would certainly be THE ANGSTIEST and GAYEST love songs you ever did hear, but still.

Like the big danger for Finn and Jake isn’t that Marceline tries to keep them there or is otherwise antagonistic, it’s that her music is so sorrowful/angsty it actually carries the depression-inducing elemental contamination that threatens to sap people’s will to go on and making them think of lost loves. Which could lead to some interesting character-moments for Finn: Like Marceline’s song first dredge up his old feelings for Bubblegum and Flame Princess, but Finn is actually able to push through the depression and yearnings because he’s moved on from those feelings and can recognize that the relationships they represented have either ended (Flame Princess) or never existed in the first place (Bubblegum). And when the songs make him think of Huntress Wizard, Finn is able to push through because he has a far more casual relationship with HW and doesn’t have the kind of deep yearnings for her that would easily paralyze him with depression.

Of course the most interesting part of this new version of Winter Light would be the potential meeting and conversation between this new Ice Marceline and Ice King/Simon. From Marceline potentially musing on how she now knows how Simon feels, to Ice King possibly having a weird, distorted heart-to-heart with Marceline where we see just a glimpse of Simon.

Following this, I don’t see this change having much of an effect on the rest of the arc, with perhaps one small but still noteworthy addition: When Finn, Jake and IK flee the new Ice Kingdom, Finn calls out to Marceline something to the effect of if she does miss PB so much, she should go see her. Then later during Hero Heart when Princess Bubblegum candifies Phoebe and the rest of her flame army, Marceline actually DOES show up in a dramatic and very impressive display of power, possibly with her own ice army. Finn at first thinks she’s here to help, but it turns out Marcy isn’t here to fight, but simply to see Bonnie. And when her followers also start getting transformed by PB, Marceline simply accepts the candification herself to become Marshmaline. Simply because now she CAN be with Bonnie.

You know, all to really dial up the ‘All is Lost’ vibe of that episode.

Now this means that Skyhooks II and the end of the arc play out the same as they did originally, with Finn and Ice King managing to hit the LSP-shaped elemental-reset button and undo everyone’s elemental corruption. I mean, maybe Bonnie and Marcy have a Big Damn Kiss a season early after they get de-candied, but I think it’s easy to imagine they probably already had a BDK off-screen in the original XD

Of course I think we can all agree that the real interesting angle to this change is the potential of Marceline being the new Ice Elemental on rest of the series. Admittedly, it is a bit hard to imagine the existing plot-points for the rest of the series being affected much by Marceline now having some ice powers. Aside from her Dark Cloud kaiju form she breaks out in Come Along With Me now likely being a Dark BLIZZARD form.

Instead, the really interesting potential of this change comes in how this might affect Marcy’s dynamic with Simon and how she might go about adapting to her new abilities. I think we can all agree it would be fun to see Marcy and Bonnie trying to figure out their new elemental powers together. Though consider this: If Bonnie was visited by the spirit/past-incarnation-memories of Chatsberry, what if Marceline ends up being visited by the spirt of Urgance Evergreen? You know, the being who made the Ice Crown?

Really makes you think where something like that could lead…

Alastor's Furby Organ - Fic Prompt

Vox is attempting to sell the benefits of advancing technology to Alastor for the umpteenth time, either genuinely or patronizingly, when Alastor sees it.

The second greatest piece of technology he's ever laid eyes on.

He interrupts Vox in the middle of his tirade and zips up to it and is absolutely tickled pink by its creepiness and charming exterior.

Alastor, trying not to sound excited: And what's this delightful little thing?

Vox: Oh that's a Furby, a creepy kids toy up top, we're thinking of scrapping it actually-

Alastor: Oh? Then maybe I can take them off your hands.

Time skip to a few months later, Alastor and Vox are having another battle (duet) when Alastor manifests a new instrument Vox has never seen him play before made up of-

Oh no. no. no. nononono. NO.

A fucking Furby Organ!?

Hey, you once mentioned something about Tom Riddle being a little suicidal. Your new post reminded of that and I wonder why you think that. It’s the complete opposite of what the books want you to think.

Alright, it’s time, let’s do this.

My standard disclaimer whenever we venture into the dark pit that is my thoughts on Tom Riddle: I’m going to say a lot of controversial stuff that fandom generally doesn’t agree with, I will say so much of this shit that I simply do not have time to explain it all, I expect 99% of you to disagree with me and the other 1% to be so horrifyingly offended that I dare to contemplate a world in which Tom isn’t always an overly competent psychopath that they leave me notes telling me to take this trash out of their character tags.

We good? Alright.

So, when I say a little suicidal, I mean that he is suicidal.

Not on the level that he’s going to kill himself tomorrow, or even has plans to kill himself, but in that he makes very strange decisions for someone who desperately wants to live.

And yes, I realize I speak blasphemy given that Tom Riddle’s entire m.o. is supposed to be his crippling fear of death.

Oh man, this one’s going to be so long.

So, my reasoning comes down to a few things:

The location of the horcruxes and the nature of their protections.

The events of Deathly Hallows and Tom’s final actions in the novel

The nature of horcruxes and what it means to not only be able to create one but what it does to you (caveat that I am going to headcanon hard here and speak utter blasphemy)

So, let’s start in order this time, because I think the first two are actually far easier for me to explain.

The Location and Nature of the Horcrux Protections and the Trouble with Backdoors in Security

So, first, the horcruxes are all conveniently located in Great Britain. Not even just in Great Britain, all in places that Albus Dumbledore and later Harry Potter can track down with relative ease, all fairly close to each other.

Now, part of this is undoubtedly attributable to Tom’s overly romantic nature. 

Yes, Tom Riddle is a giant romantic, though not necessarily in the traditional sense everyone thinks of. The film “Patton” and its treatment of Patton comes to mind. Tom Riddle is a man enamored by a sense of greatness, of being remembered in this world rather than fading into oblivion, by the significance of places and times in history not only of the world but of himself. He creates an entire, grand, persona for himself because to live an ordinary life for him is to be worthy of nothing.

So, given that, of course Tom places the horcruxes in sentimental locations that have personal meaning to him.

However, it also makes them perilously easy to find and collect.

By itself, this wouldn’t spark my notice.

The ability to destroy horcruxes are not easy to come by. There’s only one basilisk and it’s by chance/Lucius fucking up that Harry gains access to the necessary basilisk venom. Using Fyendfire is an incredibly dangerous thing to do and just as likely to blow up you and the next three towns over as it is to destroy a horcrux. And if there are other means of destroying a horcrux they’re just as hard to come by or just as dangerous.

It’s not quite throwing it into the fires of Mt. Doom from which it was forged but it’s pretty damn close.

So, really, without JKR’s convenient Deus Ex Machina giving both him and Dumbledore the means to actually destroy these things, Tom Riddle’s horcruxes are pretty damn safe no matter where we put them. As we see from the locket, which Regulus manages to collect but Kreacher cannot destroy even after several decades.

However, what does spark my notice, is that the horcruxes can be collected by someone other than Tom Riddle when it appears as if they were never intended to be. What do I mean by this?

From what we see, there’s no benefit to Tom if the original horcruxes are found by anyone. He doesn’t seek them out to restore his original body, they’re just anchor points that should be hidden at all costs. So, he’ll never need a Death Eater to go collect them for him should he be indisposed (indeed, to do so would require a tremendous amount of trust in people he has very little trust in). 

So, why hide them in such a way that others can access them? There are canon based options which would have prevented anyone else from reaching them. Given the existence of age lines, I imagine Tom Riddle could make some arbitrary barrier keyed only to himself. There are mokeskin pouches, such as the one Harry is given in the seventh book, which we know can only be accessed by whoever they’re keyed to. There’s the Fidelius Charm which, true requires a secret keeper which Tom would be very meh on, but options exist.

Tom Riddle could wipe the locations of his horcruxes off the face of the map. He chooses not to. Which leads me to believe that, at least on some unconscious level, he wants the horcruxes to be found.

Then we have the protections.

Specifically, I’m thinking of the locket here.

Yes, the protections are very formidable, but they’re also goddamn weird. 

Rather than make the horcrux simply inaccessible, kill all those intruding, instead the intruder has to go through a very “Saw” like puzzle in which they drown themselves in despair until they finally get the locket, at which point they likely suicide by zombie.

More, there’s no hint that there’s any other way to retrieve the locket. 

Backdoors in security are a very bad idea. What they do is weaken the security as a whole and, if you can take a short cut is, it means that someone who is clever enough and motivated enough can to. Dumbledore is both clever and motivated enough, and I imagine if there was a way to get the horcrux that involved not doing this ridiculous task he would have done it.

More, we’d be back to the land of Tom making sure only he can access the horcrux by requiring a password, keying it to his magical signature, or something so that no one else could get it.

Which means, that’s right, if Tom wants to get the locket he’s drinking the goddamn despair juice just like the rest of us.

What kind of a person would do any of this?

I’ve gone over this before, but I don’t think Tom Riddle’s crazy. Rather, in this case, I think he’s driven by an unbelievable amount of nihilist rage and is also quite depressed.

Tom goes to collect his horcrux, “Ah, it’s time to remember what a miserable life I’ve led and the sheer awfulness of my own existence. Good, I was starting to feel a little too happy. Let’s see if I get eaten by my undead, vengeful, victims today.” 

The Events of Deathly Hallows and Tom Riddle’s Death

I think Tom Riddle’s final death in the books was suicide.

Tom takes over the Wizarding World, finally, and it’s as miserable as ever.

He’s trapped in this sham, barely functional, probably very painful body. His Death Eaters are completely out of control and for all that he wanted society to burn it’s now burning and no one’s even learned anything from this. Children in Hogwarts are being routinely tortured and have now staged a rebellion in which he’s having to slaughter them (I have reasons to believe that this is not what Tom Riddle wanted, at all, but that’s best saved for another post), and then he learns his horcruxes have all been destroyed without him even noticing.

There’s so little left of him, he has accomplished nothing, and there’s Harry Potter back from the dead yet again, gloating at him that love conquers all and Tom Riddle will never understand.

And Harry’s right, Tom Riddle will never understand, the world is meaningless and flat to him now and he finally understand that there’s no point to it. I think Tom Riddle decides he’s done. He’s just done.

He enters in a duel with Harry Potter knowing the weird nature of their wands. Now, it can be assumed he used the Elder Wand, but we know they get locked in Priori Incatatum , and that makes no damn sense with the Elder Wand (well, wandlore in general is silly, but I’m working with what JKR gave me here). So I choose to take JKR at her somewhat established canon and say that, no matter what Harry thought, Voldemort was using his original wand.

He throws out the killing curse, despite having now witnessed Harry resurrecting twice to this thing, and within two seconds it rebounds and kills him.

Voldemort’s death is a lot like this scene from the recent, terrible, 2020 live action Mulan (10/10 do not recommend).  Now, we’re supposed to think that this scene is the witch saving Mulan’s life and thus showing her hope for the next generation. In actuality, the witch literally flies into an arrow she could have easily deflected from Mulan’s path. It’s a suicide that Mulan is too stupid to notice.

Tom chooses suicide in the most ridiculous, flamboyant, and easily written off manner one can and no one even notices. Instead Harry crows that he has personally defeated Voldemort, with the power of love no less, HUZZAH!

And the castle parties.

The Nature of Horcruxes

I almost don’t want to include this because it’s so... well, I’m really drifting far from canon and fandom now.

However, with horcruxes, there’s always an overriding question of why Tom is able to make so many when we don’t see anyone else with these things around (especially as it’s clear that murder doesn’t simply happen for those that now have horcruxes).

Usually, you have fic authors just sort of shrug and go, “Well, he’s that evil, I guess.” Sometimes you have them go, “No one else is crazy enough to keep going, and that’s why Voldemort’s cuckoo bananas.” 

One very good explanation I’ve seen is that it’s because most people, when they murder, feel remorse immediately. The soul split happens, but they’re haunted by the murder for the rest of their life, and thus the horcrux isn’t made. Voldemort, feeling nothing when he kills anyone, is thus able to make them even for when he’s only indirectly associated with the death in question.

However, to me that never really jived philosophically.

Mostly, I simply cannot imagine that tearing apart your very soul is an act of indifference. Here’s how I see it: to do something like that to yourself, you must care, you must care beyond all imagine and human endurance. Your soul literally cannot abide it and saws itself in half, purging what you cannot stand about yourself the most. 

The remorse part is, yes, remorse for the act and the victim but more to the point it is the ability to forgive and reaccept the worst part of yourself. That part of yourself that you purged and destroyed, which is nearly impossible to do and might very well destroy the fabric of who you are). 

In other words, while creating a horcrux is an abominable act of hatred, it is also one of profound self-hatred.

Tom Riddle loathes himself so much that he is able to do this over and over and over again. 

As Tom Riddle goes on he makes himself into less and less and less of himself until he probably doesn’t even know who he is anymore. He just knows, whatever is left of him, he loathes that too. 

And then, of course, he gives up, runs into the nearest flying arrow, and dies.

TL;DR: Tom Riddle’s is a miserable existence that ended in a miserable if unintentionally hilarious manner

not to be boring but I like when evil characters.... well not become “redeemed,” more like they become domesticated. its just delightful when like an evil monstrous little bastard man goes from committing murder to getting mad someone misplaced their costco card or left the jar of mayo on the counter all day.

Yes!!! That's exactly what I was thinking.

Alastor refuses to ask Lucifer though, she just needles and annoys him into thinking it's his idea so she can keep her pride.

Trans Fem Alastor AU

"So are ALL of your friends woman?"

Alastor looks up from his book and tilted his head at Angel, briefly dislodging Nifty who was crafting him a new King Roach 2.0 crown.

"Whatever do you mean my good fellow? Husker's right behind you!"

Husk scowled and pointedly flipped him off while drinking straight from a bottle of vodka.

Angel patted his paw and took the bottle away with his other hand. "I mean a guy you don't have on your pay role."

Alastor hummed, "Woman are much better conversation partners. Witty, charming, and full of pizazz! Men just can't compare."

Vaggie poked her head into the room, and hearing this, grunted in agreement, "For once, can't say I disagree with you."

Angel exaggeratedly placed his hand over his heart and gasped like he'd been betrayed.

Lucifer was a bit suspicious, "You know, that sounds like something you'd say to describe yourself."

Nifty finished the crown and bestowed it upon Alastor with a flourish and a bow. He gave Lucifer a mocking smile, "I'm flattered you think so, I'd only be so fortunate."

Angel stopped antagonizing Vaggie and jokingly said, "to be a woman?"

Alastor laughed, this time like Angel had said something absurdly obvious, "Well yes, wouldn't everyone?"

The way you draw fem vox and alastor is so pretty I love them

thank you!

HP X HH AU - Alastor is Harry Potter and Voldemort is his Shadow

I've got a whole concept idea for how Alastor time-traveled to early 1910s New Orleans and how he trapped Tom Riddle as his shadow- but that's a separate post entirely. This is about what happens if they get de-aged in Hell following their retreat from Adam. Because I want to see the Hazbin crew's reaction to Harry and Tom.

----

When Adam slashed him with his guitar, it purified both Alastor and his shadow to an age when they were still innocent.

Alastor, Harry, to age 11 -- moments before he'd disintegrated Quirrell to death.

Voldemort, Tom, to age 10 -- days before he led his fellow orphans into a cave to torture them.

They awaken in a crumbling radio tower covered in blood and a broken radio staff clutched in Harry's hands.

Tom, being raised Catholic and carrying all the trauma that comes with being able to talk to snakes from a young age, is the most terrified.

Harry still hopped up on the adrenaline of facing his parent's murderer from what he believes is only minutes before, manages to hear the creaking of the radio tower and get them out before it fully collapses.

They wander Hell and quickly come across various demons, all of which have nefarious intentions. They try to escape but even with magic there's only so much 2 human children can do against demons until-

"HEY!" Something hits the back of a hellhound's head, knocking him out and giving Harry the chance to run to stand in front of Tom.

They both look warily at their savior: a tall heavy-set demon with imp-like horns and bat-wings. In his hand was the broken guitar he'd used to smash over the hellhound's head. He looked angry.

"BITCH! You owe me a new guitar!"

----

Adam sees these kids and assumes they're the reason he's in hell. That he has to save them and then he can return to heaven - how else would 2 human children who reminded him of his own just happen to wander into his path?

So he takes them in and re-learns what it means to be a father responsible and care have empathy for his descendants. He meets other sinners who are not the worst and it makes him feel guilty confused.

For 3 months, he tries to find a way to get these 2 children back to the human world. They're both so bright and kind but absolutely fucking traumatized. He's going to have to find them better parents when he takes them back because they were under no circumstances going back to whoever they were with before.

Everyday he's with them, the kids open up just a bit more. What does it say about their homelives that they feel more comfortable in Hell living with what they think is a demon? They have so much potential like Abel and capacity for goodness like Cain before he-.

He tries -oh god how he fucking tries- to get them out of this hell-hole, but eventually he has to man up and ask for help.

HA! Sike. No, he obviously was supposed to demand Lucifer send them back. After all, it must've been his fuck-up that got these kids stuck here so it was his responsibility to fix it. Not Adam's!

Yeah that sounded right.

He marches up to the Hazbin Hotel with the kids behind him he wasn't scared shut up and knocks on the door.

----

Lucifer contacts Ozzie to open a portal.

Problem #1 The moment Harry touches the tear in realities, he hits a brick-wall. Or at least what feels like one. The portal is nothing more than a 2-way mirror for him. He can see but not cross-over.

Problem #2 Lucifer takes a closer look and realizes that their souls are already marked for Hell. But they're full of holy energy even after 3 months.

Adam refuses to believe this and demands to talk with Heaven.

Problem #3 ...No one has heard from Heaven since the failed Extermination.

----

Adam stays at the Hotel since it's safer for the kids cheaper than renting his overpriced studio apartment that smells like piss and cheese. Niffty fucking hates him though, he hurt her favorite bad boy! He's not dead she would feel it but he's gone again because of him!

Over the next 3 months, the kids grow. Not normally though, every time they make even a minor sin, they age rapidly before Adam's eyes. Sometimes he swears their nails seem claw-like, their teeth sharper when they smile, and their eyes seem to glow when he's looking out of the corner of his eye.

They eventually get in contact with Emily who first informs them that Sir Pentious was redeemed. She then takes a look at the kids with Lucifer. They discover that the children had been de-aged to a period of innocence due to the holy-light that had flooded them.

Lucifer tells Adam it was likely his holy-light wave that sliced the hotel in half that did the deed. They must've gotten caught too close to the blast-radius.

They hypothesize from their rapid age growth and behavior, that sinning will eventually revert the children back to their original demon forms.

And Adam-

Adam, for once in his immortal life, refuses to give up on his children.