Sorry Mr. King Of Hell, Alastor Hails From The Land Of Stubborn, Violent Psychopaths 😔

not to be boring but I like when evil characters.... well not become “redeemed,” more like they become domesticated. its just delightful when like an evil monstrous little bastard man goes from committing murder to getting mad someone misplaced their costco card or left the jar of mayo on the counter all day.

harry raised by lily (and petunia...and kinda snape) snippet, first year, “cokeworth coven” (+wbwl?) fanfiction

Severus was a very terrible driver, so Harry was quite grateful when his aunt pushed him into the passenger seat and took the wheel herself. His mother sat in the back of the old sedan with him, quite uninterested in Severus’s foul-mouthed complaints up front, and instead looked encouragingly to her son.

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Retired!Pariah Dark AU

Jazz is having the time of her life psychoanalyzing Danny’s rogues and helping them with their troubles. Eventually she even convinces Clockwork to give Dan a chance at redemption. 

Unfortunalety, Jazz doesn’t know when to quit and decides to try her hand at extending a helping hand to someone everyone else labels a lost cause. 

Pariah Dark. 

And it works! Eventually. Somewhat.

Well he won’t be killing anyone or crushing ghost cores, and that’s about all they can ask for. 

Danny is still the king. But Pariah can now give his successor advice on what not to do. Also Danny sometimes throws paperwork duty at Pariah now that Dan’s parole is over and refuses to do it.

In conclusion, Pariah Dark becomes their new grandpa (Clockwork is obviously the weird grunkle) and he has no idea what he’s done to deserve this torture. 

Inspired by @bywolfstar on Tiktok and the lovely art by @krossan

Hot take: dc x dp, but with good parents Jack and Maddie fenton.

Yes, Danny is part of the batfam. Yes, Bruce has legally adopted Danny and would have adopted jazz (if she didn't insist she was too old to be adopted). Jack is still their loving father. Maddie is still their devoted mother. Both parents recognize that their children love the batkids and the batparents (Yes, this includes Alfred and Maybe Selena) as family, and as the family doesn't seem abnormal (by amity park standards) they let their kids develop healthy relationships with whoever they want.

Made fenton is Bruce Wayne's science nemesis. She doesn't buy "Brucie" for a second. Millionaire playboy who? Every time she picks up her kids from his house as per the shared custody agreement, she finds him tinkering with some strange device and casually points out "yknow, you have something, but it could be better if you....". She's so used to correcting her husband's math errors and design flaws that the first time she catches Bruce with an unsafe device, reflexes kick in.

Jack, on the other hand, pulls an uno reverse on Bruce. Bruce thought he was adopting a black haired and blue eyed teen with angst issues. Nope! Jack now has a new reclusive rich best friend! They're family, practically brothers! You want to run for gotham mayor and end city crime? Anything you say B-man!

Jack and Maddie start showing up to batkids's civilian events for moral support. Cassandra has a ballet recital? They're in the front seat; cheering her on! Tim has a big presentation in front of the company board of directors? Yet again, Jack and Maddie somehow got past building security; and holy heck, why do they have a "support Tim Wayne" t-shirt cannon?!!? After the 5th cookie care basket with sugar snaps that tried to eat his stapler at the bludhaven police station, Dick now has to politely ask them to stop sending food. He appreciates the effort, but the gingerbread men caused a queen of fables scare and tried to eat a convict.

Jack and Maddie know Danny is phantom. The "threats" to shoot him? He's their son! They'd never! But they can't let him know that they know, so they keep up the act half heartedly. They realize their invention killed him. They realize everything they thought they knew about ghosts was wrong. But how do you say sorry to your kid if he isn't ready to forgive you? Especially if you've wronged him infathomably. You don't. You love him unconditionally; and you live each day with him as the gift it is. And you keep his secret, even from him. You fight infathomable and terrifying monsters each night, over and over, praying that once they're gone he can sleep safely. If he ever wants to forgive you, he'll tell you; when he's ready. And if he can't? You live with what you've done, regret and greif forever seered into your soul. You know he is loved and cared for. He is protected. To you, that's all that matters.

~if you see us in the club we'll be acting real nice~

“Voldemort should have gotten a fair trial.”

No, but seriously, can we talk about this? I know this was meant as a joke but it’s just so hilarious to think about.

Why did harry need to collect all of the horcruxes first when they could’ve just tossed him in with Grindelwald. 

I mean it probably wouldn’t have worked but why was ‘kill him with love, fire, venom, and the magical equivalent of ‘no u’ the first and only option???

I’m just saying I would like more Trial of Voldemort trope fics because they’re peak comedy. Or Voldemort and Grindelwald co-habituating Nurmengard and annoying the shit out of each other. It’s what they deserve.

“Voldemort should have gotten a fair trial.”

“Sauron wasn’t under the Shire’s jurisdiction. Hobbits had no authority to depose him.”

“Aslan is hypocritical for killing the White Witch because they’re the same really. They both want to rule the world and be worshiped!”

Brought to you by: the Internet’s intellectual dishonesty when discussing Mace Windu knocking Darth Sidious flat on his ass and rightfully attempting to cut him down.  

A little advice from someone studying extremist groups: if you’re in a social media environment where the daily ubiquitous message is that you have no hope of any kind of future and you can’t possibly achieve anything without a violent overthrow of society, you’re being radicalized, and not in the good way.

YALL

MY BBS ARE COMING BACK AHHHH

Bonus: for you + your S/O

Tom Riddle AU - Adventure Time

I haven’t even watched Adventure Time but just by watching the clips on YouTube I can say with certainty that if Simon Petrikov had raised Tom Riddle there would have been no Voldemort. 

This man convinced an evil immortal alien that made even the Lord of Evil pause to view him as a father figure. Not to mention Marceline, the daughter of said Lord of Evil. Both informal adoptions happened while he was some kind of insane. Bro wasn’t even at his best and still managed to dad like a champ.

Simon takes one look at these ‘lost’ causes and doesn’t waste time asking “is anyone gonna raise that?” He’s already there reaching through broken glass for a teddy bear. 

So Tom “born from a love potion so he’s not able to feel love” Riddle doesn’t stand a chance. Also just the thought of Tom living it up in Ooo as the immortal older brother to Marceline just sounds cool. Wizard King Tom anyone? 

Don't skip out on the bullying batman statement. Danny deserves to spook some bats

dp x dc prompt #58

danny and a couple rogues, maybe his friends from amity, or just by himself starts up a haunted house in gotham. the reviews are stellar and you can hear the screams from across town.

everything goes smoothly until the joker tries to escape through his building.

the bats get spooked, danny bullies batman, and the joker comes out at the end babbling nonsense about the ghost king trying to eat his soul.