THESEUS DESERVES TO BE SO UNHINGED AND MANIC, THE FANDOM IS SLEEPING ON THIS

I needed to get this out of my head, but on a scale of one to Zagreus pranking Orpheus about his relationship with Dionysus, the absolute most hilarious thing in Hades is by FAR extreme measures Theseus.

I mean, listen. I was not prepared. For any of this bossfight. First you have Asterius in armour and I went 'oh shit I'm gonna get destroyed' but then Theseus shows up with not one, but two gatlings and an armored chariot, all while looking absolutely ridiculous with his stupid golden mask -save me I love him- I panic and just "WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GIVE THESEUS A GUN" you get me.

So at this point I'm stifling a laugh, because the bossfight starts and I know it's gonna be hard as shit, and guess what, it is. And I'm so focused on Asterius because that mf has so much range now and he just never stops and it's a pain to dodge.

And then, THEN, as I'm so focused, tense, life or death situation, I see fucking Theseus rolling at the edge of my vision field, laughing like a maniac and firing his machine guns like pew pew pew pew pew and THAT is when I lost it. I burst out laughing and got subsequently hit by an axe in the face.

Moral of the story: extreme measures Theseus cracks me up to levels I did not think were reachable (truth is, I'm snorting just thinking about it) and it baffles me that I saw no one talk about it. Like can we just sit down and appreciate the fact that on top of his stupidity, Theseus is even more unhinged than what the fandom portrays him to be-

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I love him Repost EXTREME MEASURES THESEUS IS SO GOOD this man is just so excited to have weapons capable of mass destruction AND THE VOICELINE WHERE HE IS LIKE I WISH YOU HAD A CHARIOT SO WE COULD RACE

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