Artsyxabbyx - The Official Simp Blog

search WITHIN your local trash and you WILL find a friend and boy 

Chapter 13

Dangerous Distance

Ordonez wasn’t particularly excited to follow the trail of the two boys that ruined his chances with the woman he was dangerously infatuated with, but he would take this opportunity and run with it if that is what it would take to get her to grace him with another kiss.

There was no kindness in the way she touched him or kissed him, he knew he was only being used. He reminded himself constantly for the sake of wedging away from the feelings he held for her. It never worked in his favor, though. He was in too deep and he overstepped the line he danced between, the line of falling in love and the borderline obsession he fell in.

“I need to find those runts and get back to her. That is all. That is all I need right now.”

He repeated his words to himself over and over, praying to whatever higher power was watching him that he could make her happy.

However, if the terrain in front of him could give any hint, it would say that he was in for a wild ride.

The mountains twisted and turned in ways that only hills or valleys should. The clouds seemed to be caressing the tips of the snowy peaks as he began his trek. His location was undisclosed to everyone but Ximena, and he truly wouldn’t want it any other way. A creature’s ears bright and an angry red in color made him stop in his tracks.

“Last time I checked, I wasn’t supposed to come this far.” He muttered to himself.

This was a dragonborn child. Oftentimes, they travel in packs to ensure safety. If this one is alone, they are probably being tracked or watched from the trees for backup. They aren’t violent creatures, but they can do some damage if they need to. But this one looked like they were alone for good, no trees around to keep him in check.

Typically speaking, dragonborn creatures weren’t supposed to be near the mountains. They were found closer to volcanos or even deeper in the jungles. Due to their typical build, they can’t handle the cold.

‘If this small one was out and about in such an area, there were greater problems at hand than catching the boys.’ Ordonez thinks to himself.

“Oi, are you lost kid?” He hollers.

The pointed elven ears shoot to attention as the creature looks at him. Bright green eyes on a pale face met his eyes quickly. He couldn’t help but muse that their eyes matched Ximena’s.

“You aren’t supposed to be here.”

The androgynous voice replies, clearly frightened that they had been discovered.

“I was going to say the same to you. I thought your geographical location was supposed to be the opposite of here.”

He put his sword away, not even aware that he had drawn it. It must be instinct that he was so quick to react violently. Instead of lashing out, he sat on a nearby rock and held his hand out, offering the dragonborn to sit with him.

“We are supposed to adapt to changes.”

Hesitantly, the creature sat in front of him, still unsure if there was safety with this strange masked man.

“How did your kind adapt so quickly?”

Red ears twitch in fascination. No one had ever asked them questions about their kind, much less had they known things the way Ordonez did.

“Forced survival of the fittest I suppose. Put in camps to reproduce the strongest heirs.”

They cringed at the words they spoke, obviously ashamed.

“Can’t say that worked out very well with the fact that I am the only one that survived the walk here.”

They look back at the way they came, surprisingly the same way Ordonez did. He couldn’t help but wonder how they didn’t run into each other sometime sooner. These creatures aren’t exactly easy to miss. With their large stature and their bright ears, they stick out like a needle in a haystack.

“I’m so sorry to hear that.”

Sincerity laced the words he spoke as he took off the mask adorning his face. Perhaps a travel partner wouldn’t be a bad idea, they know the land well due to their natural instinct afterall.

“What is your name? I’m Ordonez.”

“Finalcalon, but my family called me Fin. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

The dragonborn reached their hand out quickly for Ordonez to shake, which he did with ernest.

“Would you like to join me on my adventure?”

“I don’t have anything to lose, yet an adventure to gain… Yes, I think I will join you.”

“Then let’s be on our way. We’re going to the Lost City.”

“Lost?”

“Only to time.”

August will be filled with hope.

August will be filled with love.

August will be filled with trust.

August will be filled with peace.

August will be filled with positivity.

August will be filled with healthier connections.

Hello y’all! I have a request, and it may sound dumb, but it will help me out A LOT. I’ve been working with an app called “The Plug” for social influencers to promote apps and stuff, none of those ads ever get the views needed to make money, but you can also get the money by simply downloading and making a login for the apps that are found in the link I’m adding. Anything will help, and these apps go from games, story times, go live, snap friends, food and fitness trackers, to anything else you could think of. https://theplug.co/list/@artsyxabbyx

Not Your Hero

Chapter 3

Run Ins and Out Runs

Griffin stares at the angry eyes in front of him, searching for any kind of answer.

"Dad was never around, Grif. Mom took care of us the best she could as a single mother." 

Once again, the man was stunned into silence.

"What are you talking about? She was never a single mother when I was around. She would cook for us nightly and dad would take us hunting, fishing and fighting almost every weekend."

Axel shakes his head violently while Griffin takes another step toward the shorter man.

"Who do you think taught you to fight the way you can? Did she teach you how to do that?"

"That's not our father. That may be mom's friend that agreed to step up to take his place, but that's no father."

Griffin lets out a bitter laugh "Is that what she told you?"

"Yes, and I would believe her over anyone."

He rolls his eyes as his brother keeps monologuing.

"Unlike you, dad and just about everyone else in the village, she hasn't left me."

Scoffing, Griffin walks past his brother, shoving him by the shoulder as he makes his way for the door instead.

"Just like she said you would, you're walking out on me again."

The reality of what was said hit him hard. Griffin had seen this situation unravel before. He had seen the way the truth could be twisted.

He heard the same foolish words that his brother was spouting, time and time again, just from different lips.

Griffin couldn't tell anyone the last time he heard something that his mother said from her own lips. He could remember what was said, every wound that was inflicted, every pained expression that passed the faces of the people around them.

Every time his mother said something about him that he heard, it was that Griffin, her own son, was nothing more than a vile beast. Without fail, she would follow it up with every accident he could have ever possibly made, blown out of proportion.

Shaking himself out of the memory, he glares up to Axel.

"You truly must be more naive than you look. I pray to whatever you might believe in that you receive mercy in place of the brains that you weren't blessed with."

    Blind rage overtakes the smaller man as he throws his weight into Griffin's chest. The taller man didn't budge very much, but there was too much pain in his heart to truly care in the moment. Pounding his fist into his brother's abdomen angrily, he growled out.

"You don't know a single thing about me! You left before you could ever take the title of my brother! Who told you that you could just come back here, help me out on one thing, and then lecture me on a family tree that you were barely a part of?!"

With no real struggle, Griffin turned and aimed his fist to the bridge of Axel's nose. Tears sprout in the corners of his eyes. Blood dripped to the floor and stained the taller man's shoes. Another punch. Then another.

A sickening crack. Both men take steps back, panting heavily and trying to collect themselves. Griffin keeps himself to the left wall, and Axel to the right, holding his nose and letting his eyes water freely. Griffin drops his head and shakes it.

"I can tell you every single thing our father did for us and you're going to sit there, stare at me and say it was someone else? I can tell you for the ten years that I was a part of the family what we did and where we started to fall apart, WHY we started to fall apart, and you want to believe that she is the patron saint that saved you?"

Axel slides down the wall and sighs heavily, defeat clear across his face.

"Go ahead then. Tell me. Please, tell me the truth."

—---------------------------------------------------------------

"You look unwell." Obsidian eyes trail up and down the body in front of the oppressor.

"No thanks to you, my love."

A heavy sigh echoes through the room.

"You are in no state to voice your frustrations with me. You are the one who let my sons get away alive. Do not disappoint me again."

The woman's voice held no sympathy, which came as no surprise to the man in front of her. The man takes off his mask tainted with a smile as he nods.

"As you wish, Ximena."

“you support gay rights so you must be gay”

i support animal rights do i look like a fucking alpaca to you

i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes

(This post will be kept pinned & periodically updated until 28 Nov)

Lmaoooo

Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like a year:

Link to post.

But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:

Link to post.

Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.

Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.

Link to post.

Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)

As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.

Link to post.

It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂

Link to post.

Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.

Link to post (tags mine).

Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3

----------------------------------------------

Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.

found by @thepotch

Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?

Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️

Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.

Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.

Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.

Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!

Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC

----------------------------------------------

I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.

Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)

Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)

Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)

Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)

Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday

As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.

-----

Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:

Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page

Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting

Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)

Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)

Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)

Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from

Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)

Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀

(alt text included)

End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3

----

Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:

More trailers!

Trailer 1 (My favourite)

Trailer 2

Trailer 3

Trailer 4

I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.

It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.

Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!

And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.

YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:

InformOverlord (4:30)

Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)

End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.

--

🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)

tw: unreality:

We did it you guys!

Clarification: Francesca Scorcese asked her Dad about the meme and Martin played along. Please reblog this PSA to help Tumblr people with psychosis. Thanks.

MW2 + Reader as Images

Listen I was bored and made these masterpieces. I also know they can apply to multiple characters but enjoy it anyway

Wattpad

PLEASE READ - Please Consider Sharing.

Read Please Consider Sharing. from the story PLEASE READ by ArtsyAbbyOfficial with 0 reads. scaredtodeath, homeless, pl...

Hi everyone… I usually don’t make posts like this, but I am desperate and worried as all hell.

As you may know, I’m Abby, a 21 year old with my own house.

I didn’t really think about it at first, but it’s all set in with me now that I’m on my own and I’m seeing that $15 an hour from one job and $9 and hour from my other isn’t paying my $728 monthly mortgage, $200 insurance, $70 power bill, $68 water bill and $52 phone bill.

I’ve done everything I could think of, starting by getting a third job but my mental health took a nosedive due to my bpd so I quit that one. Then I sold clothes, sold pictures, sold art, nothing really worked.

So if you could give tips on what to do, that would be amazing.

I have a dog and a cat and live by myself and really need help.

I have a month left worth of money in my savings and half of that in my checking right now and I HATE asking for help but I really need it. I even have an amazon wishlist for the essentials attached to my linktree.

Anything will do something to help, even if you just repost this-

Cashapp: $ArtsyabbyOfficial

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