Rachel Zegler stronger than me cuz I would’ve commented LOL to the long ass paragraph Nepo Baby Who Actually Ruined A Project He Was In Because Daddy Wanted To Make Him the Main Character wrote on Instagram after slamming the door in his wack ass dads face
What's the Best Way to Start a Story? Ah, yes. Death.
Warning: Lots of Curse Words and a bit OOC
In a series of unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on how you view things) events, your eccentric rich bitch of an employer had just died.
Sad, I know. But they had it coming. Sorta.
Nobody really liked them. They were, to put it bluntly, an asshole of the highest degree, and they didn't have any living relatives or descendants.
As such, with you being the only person in existence who still stuck by them, gave a shit about them, and had the balls to deal with all of their bullshit, they decided to leave you with their inheritance.
From their large plot of land to their unrealistically big ass mansion with a private beach close by, along with everything inside of it. Money included.
It was all yours for the taking, and you were all too eager to accept.
At this point, you had everything you needed to live the life of your dreams. A large plot of land, a mansion, a near infinite amount of money.
Now, all you needed left in this big and lonely mansion...
Was companionship...
...
Yea, no. We'll skip that for now.
So, with that in mind, after setting down the remaining boxes of your belongings that you had just brought in, you decided to stroll through the halls of the place, eager to familiarize yourself with your new home.
Your eyes perking in interest as you spot a door that you had never seen before, curiously entering it with a new wave of excitement as to what you could find (or possibly sell) on the other side.
Nothing could ruin this day for you!
.
.
.
.
.
Something has just ruined this day for you.
You groaned, dragging your hands down your face as 12 of the most iconic Disney Villains settled on the set of couches before you with crossed arms, disgruntled expressions, and glares aimed your way.
Maleficent sat on the lone couch to your left, while Grimhilde, the evil queen, sat on the other couch to your right, both looking at you with displeased glares.
On the main couch sat Ursula, Cruela De Vil, Dr. Facilier and Jafar. All sharing the same disgruntled expression, like they have better things to do than be in this predicament.
And those who decided to stand behind the couch were Hades, Captain Hook, Shan Yu, and Gaston. All of them with their arm crossed.
Finally, seated on the carpeted floor before the couches are Scar and Oogie Boogie. Who looked bored out of their minds.
You let out yet another groan.
How did you end up in this situation again??
Ah, right. The mysterious room.
For those of you who are wondering, here's what went down literal hours ago.
You had entered what looked like an old storage room, flicked the light switch on, and discovered that it was filled to the brim with various antiques and junk.
Looking around, you felt like a kid in a candy store, discovering the various curious objects that your former employer collected, lining each shelf.
Everything was so interesting (and sellable) to you.
But what stood out to you the most, though, was an assortment of random items set up on a row of pedestals.
A staff broken in half, a shattered mirror, an unlit greek looking torch lying on its side, a dusty lamp, a tarnished silver hook, a vintage hunting rifle, an old scattered deck of tarot cards, a weird wavy looking sword (a quick google search informed you that it was a serrated jagged jian), a lion skull (not even gonna question how your employer got their hands on these ethically), a gold nautilus shell necklace, an exotic black and white fur coat of some animal (again, not gonna question how they were ethically acquired), and finally a set of red hand carved dices.
With a wide shit eating grin and dollar signs in your eyes, you decided on the spot that these would definitely sell for a large amount of money and decided to take a picture of them to post online.
However, before you could take the shot, you realized something.
No one would buy any of this junk if you sell them as they looked now, like junk!
So, with a new goal in mind, you quickly set out to grab whatever cleaning materials you could find.
And when you came back, you glued together the two broken parts of the staff, put back the pieces of the shattered mirror back in place, set the unlit greek torch up, rubbed the dust off of the lamp, polished the silver hook, cleaned the vintage hunting rifle, stacked and rearanged the deck of tarot cards, sharpened the weird wavy sword, dusted the lion skull, washed the gold nautilus shell pendant in soapy water, and brushed the exotic fur coat.
When all was done, you stood back with your hands on your hips, a prideful grin stretching across your face at having cleaned all of the useless junk before you.
If only you had the same amount of energy and enthusiasm when it comes to cleaning the rest of your house.
You were about to take a picture again when you realized you weren't completely done. There was still one item left.
The pair of red dice.
You stared down at the dices in contemplation. For some reason, something about them didn't seem to sit right with you.
One dice had a six facing up, while the other had a five. Making it an eleven in total.
You grabbed the dices, shaking them around in the palm of your hand and without much of a thought, threw them onto its pedestal. Watching as it rolled on the surface before stopping, both dices landed on a one.
Snake eyes.
All of a sudden, the lights in the room started to flicker and turn off completely, leaving you in the dark.
You cursed under your breath as you were about to turn the flashlight on your phone when you noticed that the dices were glowing green, like one of those shitty glow in the dark star stickers you had as a kid.
Suddenly, the dices weren't the only thing glowing as the fur coat was glowing white, followed by the shell pendant glowing gold, the lion skull glowing green, the sword glowing a dull blue, the tarot deck glowing purple, the hunting rifle glowing red, the hook glowing gold as well, the lamp glowing red too, the torch glowing blue which also lit up in blue flames on it's own, the mirror glowing purple, and finally the staff glowing green.
Each of the items slowly hovered in the air, wind seeming to pick up around you despite the lack of windows, and then suddenly a burst of green smoke spread throughout the room, temporarily blinding you as you coughed into your fist.
You swatted your hands around to clear the smoke, rubbing your teary eyes when a sound caught your attention. Not just any sound, it was the sound of a person, no, people! It was the sound of people!
When the smoke finally cleared, you were greeted by the sight of a dogpile of people, all groaning and moaning in pain, some muttering curses under their breaths as they struggled to get up from their current positions.
"Get off of me, you fools!"
A comanding feminine voice exclaimed.
"Ugh, you first, I can feel you stepping on my tail."
Another masculine voice grumbled.
"Ugh, get your slimey apendeges off of me, woman!"
Another masculine voice exclaimed in disgust.
"For the last time. It's not slime, you narcissistic oaf, it's mucus!"
Yet another feminine voice retorted.
"She's actually right, ya know? It's mucus, not slime. Had to learn that the hard way."
Yet another masculine voice says, agreeing with the person who spoke before them.
Whilst they were still arguing with one another, you figured now would be a great time to escape, slowly backing away, careful not to make a sound when you flinch as your back hits something sturdy and warm.
With a nervous gulp, you slowly crained your neck up only to see a tall gray skinned man with shark like teeth and blue flames for hair, looking down at you with a wide toothy grin.
"Hey there, nice to meet cha', you goin' somewhere, babes?"
The gray man asked in a casual tone, a hint of a threat hidden beneath it. Before you could respond, you yelped in surprise as you were suddenly grabbed by the back collar of your shirt and lifted a few feet away from the ground.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?~"
You froze as you were suddenly face to face with a big talking sack, your face growing pale when you noticed a centipede crawling out of its open stitched mouth.
The thing before you seemed to notice this, grinning even wider as they brought you closer to its face.
"What's wrong, little one? You feeling ssscaareeddd?~"
A snake had just slithered out of its mouth like a tongue and hissed at you as it trailed off the word 'scared'. Which made you scream as you kicked at his face in response, causing the thing to drop you as it held its face in pain.
"UGH! YOU LITTLE-"
The commotion seemed to finally catch the others' attention, finally registering your presence.
Before you could run off and escape, though, a tendril of black smoke wrapped around you, restricting your movement as it pulled you closer to the blue flame headed guy who merely chuckled as you thrashed around in his grip, successfully getting your arms out before trying to tug and yank the rest of the smokey tendrils off of you.
"Hey, fellas, I think I found the culprit to our little... Heh, predicament..."
The blue flame haired guy announced as he pulled you closer to him and grabbed ahold of your cheeks with one hand, forcing you to face the rest of the group.
The rest of them then approached, crowding around and glaring down at you.
"So you're the reason why we're in this mess... Speak. Why have you brought us here?"
The beautiful woman before you asked, no, commanded. Her pose is regal and sophisticated even as she looks down on you. She wore a golden crown atop her head, with a purple velvet dress and a black cape.
Your face morphed in confusion as you stared up at her, practically scanning her features.
For some reason, you feel like you've met her before.
You turn to the others as well, scanning them from head to toe.
A tall mean looking lady with greenish skin and black horns, a grumpy arabian guy dressed in red and black, a big intimidating asian dude, a woman with melanie martinez's hair but if she were emo, a guy that looks like a himbo, a fat drag queen with tentacles and light purplish skin, twinkish looking man with a fancy hat dressed in all red, twinkish looking man with a fancy hat no. 2 dressed in all purple, and a literal fucking lion.
After staring at the crowd before you, you turned your head back to properly look at the other three you had just met. The fat sack of creepy crawlies, the shark teethed flame head, and the literal fucking queen.
Stupid. That's what you currently felt. Not scared, not happy. Stupid.
How could you not recognize the people before you?? They were your literal childhood before you grew out of them. Gods, you felt so dumb for not realizing it sooner!
They were all Disney Villains!
Noticing that you seemed disappointed about something rather than fearful of their presence, the villains turned to one another with looks of confusion. Not used to this kind of reaction.
Hades, who still held you hostage decided to shake you out of whatever it is you were so hung up about.
"Oy, kid. You still with us? Kinda rude to just space out on people ya know?"
He asked, successfully snapping you out of your momentary internal berating.
"I... I know you guys..."
You muttered out loud, still in disbelief of the situation.
This caused the villains to smirk and perk up a little smugly, their ego rising at the thought of being recognized by someone they deemed lesser than then. Especially a certain muscle head.
"Ah yes, of course you've heard about the great Gasto-"
"You're all disney villains!"
You unintentionally cut off him off, your eyes widening as you clamped your mouth shut with your hands in realization of your mistake.
The villains were also caught off guard, not by your interruption, but by your statement.
"Disney... Villains?..."
Shan Yu slowly repeated, confusion evident in his tone.
You kept your mouth clamped shut, refusing to respond until a silver hook was pressed against your neck.
"You better spill, little one, or I'll slice through that pretty little neck of yours, and you don't want that now, do you?"
Captain Hook threatened, pressing his hook closer to your neck, nearly breaking the skin.
That was what led to all of you gathered in the living room, after begging asking to be released so you could explain to them, glancing at each disney villain from Maleficent to Oogie Boogie.
When Oogie Boogie noticed that you had glanced down at him, he sent you an eerie grin that made shivers crawl down your spine.
Out of all the Disney Villains present, He unsettled you the most.
The other's existence was reasonable and made sense to you.
Evil human beings of higher power and capabilities? Fine. A literal dark fae, an octupus lady, and a greek god? Good. A talking lion? Amazing. But a literal walking, talking, sack of bugs?
Burn it to the ground.
You take in a deep breath, exhaling through your nose in an effort to stay calm (spoiler alert it is not working) as you face the group of animated evil doers come to life with an uneasy smile.
"So... What would you like to know first?"
End of Part 1
Next Part
Hey there! I loved giving Malleus a stone as an accidental proposal! It would make sense to me that mers would also see it as that! Could we possibly get one with Floyd Azul or Jade?
omg yes absolutely! Thinking about it, merfolk probably would also take it as a proposal! Especially with their culture being inspired by The little mermaid and she loved to collect things. I love this request! For those of you who haven't seen the Malleus part, it's linked below!
Request rules and Masterlists
Accidentally proposing to Malleus with a rock
Floyd:
It was an innocent gesture. You wanted to give Floyd a rock to show you care about him. A simple gift that you thought he'd like. Well, you think he likes it a little too much.
When you gave the rock to Floyd, his eyes went wide, and he quickly smiled and pulled you into a tight hug (careful not to hurt you too much), "Awwww of course!"
He seemed so happy to get the rock, it honestly surprised you. Then he started lurking around you more. Like, hovering behind you and picking you up at random times to carry you around anywhere. When you asked, he said he had a right to carry and lurk now.
You also caught Jade snickering more than usual at you and Floyd, like he knew something you didn't. But both him and Floyd didn't elaborate. Instead, Floyd laughed and wrapped his arms around you, setting his head atop yours, "Silly silly~"
It wasn't until later when you visited the Mostro Lounge's VIP room that you got a hint of what was happening. Normally you'd just go there to hang out, but you'd noticed Azul was unusually frustrated today. When he saw you, it only seemed to set him off on a rant as he paced about the room.
"I can't believe this. Of all the things you could've given, and to all the people...I can't even begin to imagine what's going through your mind. You must be as impulsive as him to do this and with such short notice! Now he wants to use the whole lounge for a day and dumps all these things to prepare on me. Could you not have waited until I've graduated at least so I wouldn't have to put of with this? You two could at least help me instead of leaving me to figure out how to cater for an entire wedding without giving me any specifics-"
At this point, you kind of zoned out because you were stuck on the whole "wedding" part. What?
As Azul paced around the room and ranted, without you fully listening, your mind was working to put together the pieces. He clearly was blaming you for something, and impulsivity could only mean Floyd was involved. That, and he mentioned giving him something...
Oh no...
Right on time, Floyd had strolled into the room, completely interrupting Azul's rant. But the second his eyes landed on you, his expression lit up and he'd made his way over to you. His arms quickly wrapped around you and he basically leaned all of his weight on you as he cheered, "There you are. I've been looking all over for you. What're you doing here with Azul?"
Hesitantly, you had to ask, "Floyd, what's going on?"
Tilting his head, he rested his cheek on top of your head and hummed in amusement, "Ah. Azul's just jealous of us. Getting married while he's stuck talking all business and contracts."
You're what? Did you hear that right?
Before you could ask anything else or try and explain anything, he'd picked you up again, and started walking out of the room with you. A very frustrated Azul calling out to you two, "At least give me something!"
Only for Floyd to wave a hand dismissively as he carried you out, "Nah. You got this. We're busy."
Something told you he wasn't going to let you just back out or call it a friendship rock...
Jade:
You like to think you know Jade pretty well. You've spent a lot of time together, so you thought it'd be a great idea to give him a little gift. So when you found this nice smooth and pretty rock, you knew it'd be the perfect gift for him. It's even practical since he can put it in one of his terrariums!
He even seemed happy when you gave it to him, after brief shock of course, and he had that sharp-toothed smile you knew well.
"Well well, I must say I never expected you to be so bold to give me something like this, but I accept."
That was all he said. You weren't really sure why it'd require boldness, but he didn't elaborate and instead brushed it off and quickly left saying he had work to do.
The day carried on as normal until you saw Floyd. He ran up to you and swung you around, "There you areee~ Welcome to the family! Ma's gonna love ya!"
Disoriented, dizzy, and confused, you had to ask, "Floyd? What are you talking about?"
He swung you around once more before finally setting you down, "Ah, you know. Proposing to Jade like that? Real brave of you."
Huh? Proposing?
But in a true Floyd fashion, he just ginned and waved goodbye as he scurried off, leaving you with many questions. The only way you'd probably get answers is to ask the man himself. So, you quickly made your way to the Mostro Lounge.
There, Jade was setting up some tables, as composed and collected as ever. Seeing you, he straightened up with that same sharp-toothed smile as earlier, and welcomed you, "Good, you're here dear. We have a small dinner to celebrate our engagement before we can begin making preparations."
Stunned by the wildness of it all, you tried to nervously correct him, "Jade, I feel like there might've been a slight misunderstanding-"
"Nonsense," He began, stepping closer and wrapping an arm around you, "It's common knowledge that gifting a special rock is a marriage proposal among merfolk. You're mine now, dear."
Azul:
Azul and you are really close. There was no denying it when you spent so much time at the Mostro Lounge VIP room just hanging out with him. So you thought you’d do something nice for him and get him a little gift.
Then there was this perfect rock you found. It was smooth and round with specks of blue and purple, perfect for Azul.
You didn’t expect him to act so…odd when you have it to him. You held it out in your hand towards him, and he just stared at you in shock. His face turned about as red as Riddle’s hair, and you could tell he was struggling to speak. If Jade and Floyd were here, they’d no doubt tease him for the look on his face.
After a few moments of stunned silence (you figured it was best to just be patient and wait for him to collect himself), he took the rock with slightly shaky hands. He held the rock close to him, over his heart, and took a deep breath. Then, he cleared his throat, and tried his best to answer, “I…wasn’t aware you felt so strongly, but it’s clear now. Don’t you worry, I can handle this. I’m…delighted to receive this.”
Not thinking much of his words, you simply smiled at him. It wasn’t uncommon for Azul to get a bit flustered by small gestures. He wasn’t treated well as a child, so you know little shows of appreciation mean a lot to him.
He scurried off with the rock to his office moments later, and there was silence for a moment before you heard him sputtering on the other side of the door. He probably would be embarrassed if you listened in though, and you wanted to spare him (this time).
The day went on as usual for a while. Classes went by, you spoke to some other friends, and went to visit the Mostro Lounge again later.
But the Lounge was…busier than normal. Students who worked there were scrambling about trying to serve customers and clean and adjust the smallest of details on things. Several of them looked super stressed, and some looked like they were about to pass out. Jade and Floyd, were the only calm ones who stood off to the side, watching them all with amused smiles.
You went up to them to ask what was happening, but Floyd spoke before you could, “Can ya let Azul flounder a bit longer? This is fun to watch.”
Azul was floundering? But he’s usually so calm and collected when he’s working. He couldn’t still be flustered from your gift earlier, right?
“What’s going on with Azul?”
Jade chuckled and was the one to answer you, “You sent him on quite the spiral. He’s got everyone working overtime to make sure everything is perfect for you.”
Now more confused, you had to ask, “Me? What did I do?”
At that, the duo only laughed more, clearly knowing something you don’t, but refusing to elaborate at you and everyone else’s expense. There was only one way you were going to get an answer; from Azul himself.
Marching past the two, you made your way to Azul’s office, barely knocking before going in.
And boy was he startled. The second you entered the room he sat up straighter and his cheeks turned pink, but he quickly tried to hide it behind his hand and muttered, “Ah, you’re here. My apologies, I’m still working on the contract right now.”
Walking up to his desk in complete confusion, you asked, “What contract? What’s going on?”
There was a moment of silence throughout the room. His gloved hands fidgeted with the pen and papers on his desk in front of him, trying to figure out the right words to say.
Then, he slid the paper over to you for you to read. Well, you only read the top before sitting stunned.
‘Contract of Marriage’
Huh???
Now it was your turn to be stunned into silence. So, he filled the silence, “I…was quite surprised by your gesture earlier, but I accept. If you’ll have me, I’d love for you to sign this. It’s quite possibly the best contract I’ve ever written.”
KALIMMMM. I’m so. Normal. Kalim al-asim….housewarden of scarabia…..ka lim. Kalim I love you..
Chat watch me spending my all gems 300 to Kalim's Sultan card...I'll update if I will get him
i lied i decided to color this. sorry
the funniest part of the rachel zegler hate (also happened with halle) is. she still looks fine through all those bad edits made to make her look “ugly”. all the “bad things” she said about “hating snow white” which 40 y/os on the internet have been fussing about for YEARS always turn out to be from that 1 interview years ago where she made some bad buzzfeed jokes, and that’s it. “she hates her so much” is something i’ve read so many times, and yet i can’t seem to find an instance of that…? it seems to me she has actually frequently shown her love for the character in her pics and her happiness to portray her. “she’s a narcissist” how. because she refused to delete a “free palestine” post? like. it’s all buzzwords and bad headlines. i know people don’t check their sources but it’s genuinely disheartening that everyone believes those ragebait titles right on sight when they are clearly made by haters with zero actual arguments. you gotta start saying “wait this is bullshit. she didn’t say that” instead of keeping up the hate because LiVe AcTiOnS aRe BaD this is not the fucking point
If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.
my take on goldenspice/burningcheese. hes not taking it well (dont take this post too seriously. .)
Ratigan - The Great Mouse Detective (1986) Ursula - The Little Mermaid (1989) Hades - Hercules (1997)