I Stopped Being A Christian Right Around 2 Years Ago. And I Can't Truly Express The Rage I Feel When

I stopped being a Christian right around 2 years ago. And I can't truly express the rage I feel when I go to church now. To think about all the things that that church did and said and preached to me since I was THREE! Telling me that I was disgusting and sinful and unlovable just for being born. How all the good things I have done are as worthless as dirty rags, but if I'm not good the god that loves me SO MUCH will send me to be tortured for all eternity. And my father being praised for being abusive because "spare the rod spoil the child". And when I told the pastor's wife that my dad had hit me with a shovel she asked me what I had done to deserve it. When I got the courage to tell another pastor that my boyfriend SA'd me multiple times he shamed me and explained that men have weakness that women can't understand and that sometimes they just can't resist the temptation. And when we broke up the pastor told me no man would ever be able to put up with me and MY sexual transgressions. 4 of the men that went to that church have either harassed or SA'D me. And to this day they are all welcomed into that building with open arms and I'm insulted and shamed every time I come.

To them I will never be anything but broken.