Various Shmi Lives Au Stuff Because 1. I Love Her And 2. I Don't Draw The Skywalker-lars Family Enough

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

So, according to the background lore, while growing up on Kamino, if the clones had any bouts of anger or frustration, they were put into the "retraining tank" which was essentially isolation. And at some point, this just kinda manifests in the clones in not being able to express their negative feelings properly, and either pushing them down or dealing with them by isolating themselves, because those two things are the only things they know how to do that somewhat work.

The Jedi help with this, of course. They teach their men how to meditate, how to express themselves, how to deal with their negative feelings and also let them go and not let them fester, and how the clones adopt this part of their conduct as well. Meditation becomes almost mandatory. It's not strictly enforced by the Jedi, but it is enforced by the Commanders and the rest of the men, especially when Shinies come from Kamino.

The Guard doesn't have a Jedi.

What they do have, is empty closets to go sit in quietly or maybe scream.

It's the best and the only thing that they have.

a writer for the Atlantic said that orcas are “sadistic jerks” for sinking some boats like maybe if we hadn’t let sea world keep orca in horrific conditions for years and practically torture them then they wouldn’t want to get revenge

If you vote please reblog and maybe put your age I'm the tags because I'm curious as to who this reaches.

GAY SPORT MAP GAY SPORT MAP GAY SPORT MAP GAY SPORT MAP GAY SPORT MAP!!!!!

(Big thanks to @jovienna and @daytonasand for helping me create this!)

!BBC GHOST S5E5 SPOILERS!

Bird alien for your consideration! This is Jedi Knight Tuwa of the Kra species, professionally unsettling 7' flightless voice mimic and the strangest angel you'll ever meet

This little guy is based on the German/Austrian folklore creature called Nachtrabe (or various spellings of Nachtkrabb depending on the region)

I've grown up with stories of giant raven-like beings appearing on the windowsill of children to either sing them to sleep and send beautiful dreams or to stare at them through the glass and give them nightmares if they've been naughty (lmao)

Wikipedia has also told me that apparently the Nachtkrabb, in some regions, is said to abduct and eat children who are out at night?? I honestly prefer the sandman-esque version I grew up with over Curfew Bird but I guess you can't have a German folktale without child vore, good job team

Obi-Wan sometimes forgets that Anakin and Ahsoka are not younglings anymore.

Like, during the war, when it just started and he and Anakin were only getting used to it, Anakin would often fall asleep while he was writing reports. And Obi-Wan would just pick him up to carry him to his room and Anakin would wrap all his limbs around him and cling to him like a monkey.

When Obi-Wan picks up Ahsoka for the first time, she sprawls all over him and snores into his neck.

And he gets some side-looks at first, the clones are surprised to see such displays between their Jedi. But Obi-Wan just smiles and keeps going, shifting Anakin a little so his neck won't hurt when he wakes up.

And then he starts doing it to the clones as well.

One day he randomly found a clone sleeping in the hall and picked him up, armor and weapons and all, and brought him to the barracks. The men who were there at the time almost fainted when their General strolled in casually and asked where was their brother's bunk.

No one believes them then they later speak about it in the mess hall.

Cody almost has a heart attack the first time he sees it happen. Like, this is his superior officer, his General, the High General of the GAR and the member of the Jedi Council carrying one of his man bridal stile!

It was pretty early into the war and Cody was serving under Obi-Wan's command for only a couple of months, so he was absolutely certain he would hear at least some comment or even an order to punish the man. After all, he must have fallen asleep on duty.

But there's nothing.

Obi-Wan didn't even mention it. He just smiled at the clone the next time he saw him and asked if he was getting enough sleep now.

It just keeps happening. The war is ruthless, after all.

Obi-Wan carries Anakin, Ahsoka and the clones all around the ship to get them to comfortable sleeping places. Everyone get used to it fast. Some clones even make it a competition to fall asleep in the weirdest places to see if Obi-Wan would find them.

He does, every time.

The clones get comfortable around Obi-Wan very fast, seeing that he's not exactly what the Kaminoans promised them the Jedi would be. Sure, he's calm and wise and very nice and absolutely terrifying with his lightsaber but he's also kind and warm and friendly. They joke with him, even tease him. He smiles and returns the favor. And then Wooley accidently calls Obi-Wan 'Dad' after receiving an order.

Anakin thinks it's hilarious and teases them both. Until Obi-Wan reminds him how he called Master Yoda 'Grandpa'.

That shuts him up.

But soon after, Obi-Wan randomly drops adoption papers on the table in the middle of the briefing and says that he signed them already and everyone who wants can do the same, they just need to write their name in and it's done.

That's how he adopts the whole 212th except Cody, who looks him dead in the eye and asks him out.

He says yes.

And since the 212th now are considered Stewjoni, the rest of the clones get the citizenship automatically as they're all family.

Anakin sulks and doesn't talk to Obi-Wan for a week until a very confused Ahsoka asks him why.

"No, I'm very glad that our men have rights now, but he didn't even ask me if I wanted to be adopted too! I didn't even know the Jedi were allowed to do it."

"But he adopted you like, ten years ago?"

"WHAT"

"Oh, he asked me a few weeks after I became your Padawan if I wanted to become your sister too. I said yes, by the way."

Which leads to this-

"Why didn't you tell me you adopted me!"

"But I told you, remember, after our second swimming lesson?"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING"

Cody: Ugh.

Obi-Wan: What???

Cody: I swear to god, if you ask Boga if she ‘wants to go walkies’ in that high pitched tone that gets her all excited, one more time-

Obi-Wan: Sometimes we have to get them excited for the walkies!

Cody: She’s a twenty-six foot lizard! She spun in a circle and threw me into a wall! She’s gonna step on the wrong Jedi master one day and kill them!

Obi-Wan: Oh you’re being dramatic.

Cody: What if she steps on Master Yaddle and initiate Grogu one day, huh??? Are they gonna survive her big paws??

Obi-Wan: I notice how you left Grandmaster out of that scenario.

Cody: He made me drink swamp water last week and told me it was tea! I won’t cry at his funeral and now I’m determined to outlive him!

Obi-Wan: Babe. It’s traditional for the lineage. Normally he gets us with it when we’re still tiny, but it provides very important bacteria for gut health. I used to be intolerant to most Mandalorian seed spices before he gave it to me.

Cody: …so he wasn’t just torturing his new bu’ad-in-law?

Obi-Wan: Two things can be possible.