Hey Everyone, This Post Is Going To Be A Bit Different. Pride Month Is Nearing An End And I Was Ask To
Hey everyone, this post is going to be a bit different. Pride month is nearing an end and I was ask to make a special something for this project I'm in.
I want to talk about my journey with discovering my sexuality and gender identity, along with my battle with my disability battle with ADHD.
I was around 15 or 16 when I started to question my identity. I didn't understand what or why I was different from everyone else around me. I didn't understand why I faked being in love with boys or found myself only falling in love with fictional boys but not real guys. Then I began to think harder. I realized that maybe I wasn't so straight.
As I was finding my way I explored different labels, explored my gender, and eventually finally admitted that I needed therapy for my health.
At first I thought I was bisexual and nonbinary. At the time it felt correct, but time past and I realized it didn't make sense or feel right. I needed to keep looking. Then I identified as lesbian and demigirl, but once again later down the line they didn't feel like me.
Finding your identity takes time, trying things out for a time and seeing what makes you feel you. There is no rush, no impending doom waiting around the next second.
I finally found my gender when I was looking online about different genders in the trans and nonbinary umbrella: trigender.
Trigender is a gender similar to gender fluid. One identifies as three genders, whether all at once- like a mix of colors- or flux between the three- like colors melting into another.
Trigender was the labe that felt right, where I felt myself click into place. I felt like a woman, a man, but in between- nonbinary. It made sense and felt just right for me.
As for my sexuality? I am still into women, but I now use Gynosexual as my label. It is a gender neutral way to say that a person is attracted to women identifying genders or feminine traits. Which I am.
I also figured out I am ageosexual. Ageosexual is a sexuality on the asexual spectrum. Ageosexual is a sexuality where one isn't disgusted seeing anything sexual in nature, able to watch 'adult fun' without being uncomfortable, but still having no desire for sexual intercourse of any kind.
I can handle a sex scene or joke in media, but even the thought of actually having sex makes me uncomfortable and nauseous. I don't like even the thought of anyone I may date in the future see me naked, god forbid touch me.
I will hold hands, kiss on the cheek, peck on the mouth, cuddle, hug, but anything else is a no. Just no.
So after finding the labels that fit me and have found myself comfortable with them, I settled on my pronouns next: they/them. I didn't like being referred to as just she/her, just female. I liked the more neutral they/them as it feels better and more like me. It felt right. But everyone around is still having to get used to my pronouns and using them. Learning is still going on, my family no used to my pronouns as they spent years with my old ones.
But my mental health during this? I went to see a therapist at 16, working on my depression and anxiety first. I was prescribed medication to help deal with my issues and given tools to help manage what the medication can't. Medicine isn't a cure for mental health, it just helps manage the issues one has.
After I was given the starting tools I worked on myself and tried hard in high school. I was more energetic, I felt less tired, and I had more motivation. It didn't last however. I began to have issues with attention, I kept getting distracted easily, forgot things constantly, was restless, overall a mess without knowing why.
Then my doctor prescribed me with a medication I recognized my mother taking. It was one she took for her bipolar. So I thought for a while I had bipolar, stupid I know but hey I wasn't thinking clearly. But soon I was diagnosed with ADHD, given medication and tools I needed to manage things, and found myself more relaxed- and given confirmation that I do not have bipolar. I could sleep longer than four hours. I could finally have my thoughts slow down. I even could focus better.
But the struggle wasn't done. You see, during one summer on a boiling hot day, I tried to end my life by heat stroke. I had turned my heater on full blare on the hotest day that week. Then I took a nap, hoping to anyone listening that I wouldn't wake up. I woke up, drenched in sweat, realizing what I nearly done. I turned off the heater and quickly tried to cool myself down. I only confessed about till six to seven months after that happened. This was when I was around 19, probably 20. I had dropped high school before this, the stress of dealing with family problems, moving, and the pandemic just beginning. I wasn't great mentally.
I have also experienced cutting before, something common sadly with people dealing with depression and constant stress. It wasn't a good feeling. The pain of cutting was not what I enjoyed ever, but I am ashamed to say this, but I did like how it made me numb to everything.
In the present day I am much better, not perfect but not a mess, I'm simply okay. I've been through so much and have many years to go hopefully. To end this post as it is long enough as it is I will say this:
Your journey will not be like anyone else's, it's your life and you will find the pieces of yourself in time. You just have to find what feels right and what is comfortable. You may have a hard time with your disabilities, mental or physical, but you have support around you ready to help. There are people who want to help you get better, you'll find them. I know it. Just be kind to yourself, allow time to feel out what it is you need. And allow yourself to make mistakes.
The worst thing I ever did was try to be perfect, to be strong. In actually, it's okay to be weak and to be imperfect. We all need to learn by making mistakes, grow from them. And sometimes we need to let out emotions, to stop trying to hold everything inside.
It's okay to be yourself.
More Posts from Askatrigenderlgbt and Others
Don't worry, I still live! I love to create, and shall never stop! I'll be posting soon, just give me time. Thanks for the patience!
(◠‿◕)
I finished coloring my art! Hopefully it doesn't look too horrible. Anyway, I am over COVID and so is my family!
It is also my birthday today! So finishing this, getting over sickness, and spending time with my family is the most greatest thing to happen!!!!
Enjoy the Ironhawk fanart!
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH OF 2023!!!!!!!!!!
HOPE YOU ALL ARE HAVING A FANTASTIC DAY, NIGHT, OR SO, CAUSE THERE IS ONLY POSITIVITY ON THIS TUMBLR PAGE EVERYONE!!!!!
🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
I agree, this was the first date... But Loki is right, he he was promised a drink first!
:D
Tony(after nearly dying from space): You ever tried shawarma? I don't know what it is, but I really want to try it.
Avengers(internally): *sighing in relief* Oh thank god! We atleast got a fancy date after fighting off an alien army and seeing this adorable self-sacrificial idiot almost die!!
Loki: I would like to remind all of you that I was promised a drink first.
*Thor shutting Loki up with manacles and a gag*
Small Marvel Prompts ( •͈ᴗ•͈)
IronHawk Edition!
Angst
'Consuming all the air inside my lungs. Ripping all the skin off my bones, I'm prepared to sacrifice my life. I would gladly do it twice.' "Tony is ready to sacrifice himself to save the people he swore to protect and the people he cares for. A certain Hawk isn't going to let him go however."
'I love you, but I can't find my words.' "Both Tony and Clint like each other deeply, however, it is just that they don't know how to say or show it. The miscommunication leads to them confusing or offending the other. Only words written can express what is meant to be said."
Hurt/Comfort
'Only love can hurt like this.' "Tony asks Clint out for date only to be rejected. Clint thought it was a prank, a joke for jest, but learns from Natasha that Tony really does like him. Clint returns with an apology, genuine feels, and a bouquet of roses."
'If you love them, let them go.' "Clint gets hurt in battle after Tony fails to save him from being defenestrate. Tony leaves with a note left behind, it saying he lets Clint go from the relationship and an apology. Clint wakes up and chases Tony down, unwilling to let Tony go due to being deeply in love with him.
Fluff
'A simple mistake can sometimes be a good thing' "Clint ends up being cursed with cat ears and a tail, gaining some animalistic traits as well. He is moody and irritated to everyone, but is clingy and loving to only Tony. Clint really likes Tony."
'Sometimes I just want a hug... Sometimes I want to cuddle.' "Tony has been working for days straight, dealing with wannabe villains, and having to sort out several issues with different divisions in his company. He wants to sleep, but mostly craves a hug at this point. Clint decides to give Tony a full cuddle session, kidnapping him to his bedroom for comfort and sleep."
18+
'You look good when I carry you, but holding you against your desk... That's bliss.' "Clint loves to carry Tony bridal style often, taking the title 'knight in shining armor.' But he also likes to pin Tony up against the wall or his desk, gently caressing his body, and showing how much he loves Tony."
Fanfiction writers you may do as you please, just send me a link so I may enjoy the content you made please!!!! 🥺😀 (✿^‿^)
The original hexsquad (plus Eda of course, and Minus Odalia) :,)
Man I love this image sm
1- Aladors closer to Darius (like, their almost linking arms) than Odalia. They so dated before she got involved
2- Raine is such such shortie!!!! Even if their crouched down a little
3- Nothing special to point out I just love Bump
Happy 2024 Pride Month everyone!
I know I haven't been posting like I used to, but I've been dealing with a bit of life stuff. Nothing bad, just general life things, such as ADHD and school.
I am so excited to celebrate this pride month and hope all of you feel proud to be yourself! Live authentic and be true my friends, and Happy Goddamn PRIDE MONTH!!!!
Poly avengers Prompt:
Tony, struggling in battle, is soon stripped of his armor. Tangled in binds, he watches as his team isn't fairing better. Then he sees Clint rushing to help him, only for the goon watching him points a gun Clint's way. Tony not wanting Clint hurt kicks out to knock down the goon, then stands to take the shot from the next goon who pointed a gun.
Tony falls, pain burning through his body, as screams echoed around him. He sees Clint reach him and captain throw something past them. Tony passes out despite their best efforts.
When Tony wakes up he is surrounded by Clint and Steve, one on each side of his bed. Both have dark eye bags, looking like hell, and had one hand clutched in Tony's. He doesn't truly remember much, just that he got shot. When the boys wake up they are relieved... And very clingy. Tony doesn't mind at all.
The others come in to explain to him what exactly happened, also expressing their own worry and agitation, and basically tell Tony he is grounded. He obviously doesn't like that, he likes his lab thank you, but cue The Clingy Boys dragging him to his bed room for R&R. Plus cuddles, lots of cuddles.
(lots of angst, pain, self blame, emotions & feelings, and cuddles.)
Marvel Prompt 💖✨
(Loki has been an Avenger for some time now, making a spot for himself with the team. He has his own room in the Tower, as close to Thor's room as possible and decorated in his colors.
Currently, Thor is looking for his sibling but didn't find him in his bedroom. JARVIS informs Thor that Loki is actually back in Thor's own room.)
Thor: *Calling out* Loki? Where are you, brother?
(He doesn't receive an answer. He does however hear soft snores from around the corner.)
Thor: Loki?
(Peaking around the corner, Thor spots his brother napping on his sofa with his pet curled protectively in front of him. Loki also was draped in one of Thor's spare capes.)
Thor: *Amused* Ah, I see. You've been here the whole time I was in Asgard, Loki.
Thor: *Walks over and pats his pet on the head* Good Bilgy. Thank you for guarding Loki.
Bilgy: *Grows proudly*
Loki: *half asleep* T-Thor?
Thor: Yes, it's me Loki. Sleep, I'll be here.
Loki: Promise?
Thor: *Smiles* Promise, Loki, always.
(Loki falls back to sleep, more at peace then before, with Thor calmly petting his head.)
Thor: I love you, Loki. Never forget that.
(Thor cuddles up to Loki, glad he's home and with Loki back as his precious little brother again.)
Guess who's back! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧
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I'm out, I'm proud, and adore Marvel Stuff! They/Them pronouns! Ask me anything, I don't mind!
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