Clint Barton - Blog Posts

This is the best thing I’ve woken up to a while.

MJ: Hey don’t forget about Spider-idiot. Ned and I have split custody over him.

Ned: He’s an idiot white boy but we still love him.

Peter:

*Wong showing Rhodey around the sanctum*

Wong:  This is the Wand of Watoomb. This is the cloak of Levitation. This is my idiot white boy.

Stephen: 

Rhodey: Oh you got one too? There’s my idiot white boy over there.

Tony:

Winterhawk and Yeehan outfit swap :D

Shout out to @grumpyduckie for pointing this out a while ago on their insta :D

Clint stuck in a chair: You may be asking “Clint, how did this happen? How did you do this to yourself?”

Natasha laughing to the side: Well kids, Clint has no clue either. He’s just fucking dumb.

Natasha pulling out a knife: Now let’s help this poor man.

Clint: *Indiscernible screaming*

Peter: Hey Clint, you’re an ass ass in right?

Clint: What?

Peter: You’re an ass ass in?

Clint: Kid, I have no idea what you’re trying to say

Tony while facepalming: He means assassin

Peter, randomly quoting the internet: Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.

Tony, sleep deprived: That makes ketchup a smoothie.

Clint, for once actually knowing something: Too much sugar! It’s actually soda.

Natasha, exasperated and tired of everyone’s shit: Common sense is knowing that ketchup is neither a smoothie or a soda. It’s also knowing not to piss off an assassin for something as foolish as this at two in the morning.

Responding to a kidnapping attempt part 1:

Tony:

Peter:

Bruce:

Natasha:

Clint:

Thor:

Steve:

Bucky:

Sam:

Loki:

Avengers play Cards Against Humanity

Since the last one was well received here's part two

Black Card: You know who else liked ______? Hitler.

Loki: Eradicating the jews

Steve: Mass Genocide

Peter: Veganism

Hope: Nazis

Scott: Bees

Natasha: White privilege

Clint: Chunks of dead backpacker

Harley: Daniel Radcliffe's delectable arsehole

Shuri: Praying the gay away

T'challa: Restoring Germany to it's former glory

Tony: A reason not to commit suicide

Bruce: Auschwitz

Sam: God

Bucky: Poorly timed holocaust jokes

Pepper: Seeing things from Hitler's perspective

Rhodey: Suicidal thoughts

Thor: Vikings

Wanda: It's hard to decide... "You know who else liked veganism? Hitler" is my favourite. Peter wins.

Do you guys want to chose the winners? And yes, there are going to be more of these cards against humanity. Send me other people you want to play too.

Avengers play Cards Against Humanity

Black Card: _____ that's how I want to die

Tony: Alcoholism

Steve: Doing the right thing

Peter: Vigilante justice

Natasha: Pretending to be one of the guys but actually being the spider god

Bruce: Science

Clint: The biggest blackest dick

Thor: Powerful thighs

Harley: Poor life choices

Scott: A fully dressed female video game character

Shuri: The entire internet

Hope: Multiple stab wounds

Bucky: The Great Depression

Sam: A perfectly cylindrical vagina

T'challa: Depression

Pepper: Dying

Rhodey: Being black

Wanda: Being a motherfucking sorcerer

Loki as Czar: '...Being a motherfucking sorcerer, that's how I want to die.'... Preach.

I want to start buying some comics of my own, but I have absolutely zero clue where to start. If you would be so kind, could you tell me where to start/what order to read comics for some characters I list? Thank you!!

(The ones I want to know the most will be green lmao)

Clint Barton | Hawkeye

Moon Knight

Scott Summers | Cyclops

^^^especially Champions!!!

Bucky Barnes | Winter Soldier

Remy Lebeau | Gambit

Tim Drake | Red Robin

John Constantine

Michael Carter | Booster Gold

Bart Allen | Impulse

Doom Patrol

Clint: How come when you put bread in a toaster it becomes toast, but when you put a bagel in a toaster it's still a bagel? Like sure it's a toasted bagel but it's not like we ever call toast 'toasted bread'.

Avengers:

Tony: How come I still let you live here? You're a literal plague.

Clintasha

Clint x Natasha is literally the only ship I have where I really want them to be together but at the same time, it wouldn't bother me too much if they didn't end up with each other. Of course it still would because I think they would make an amazing, understanding, and badass couple, yet I still love the idea of them being best friends because of Clint naming his kid after her as well as them being a man and a woman who are extremely close friends, yet platonic. I don't know why but I really like that.

Currently going through depression after watching Avengers : Endgame. My heart still hasn't recovered and I believe it never will.

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH*

I’m crying, it was soooooo good

Soulmates || Six

Loki Laufeyson x Reader

Word Count: 8.3k+ (what is wrong with me)

Summary: “She preferred not having a soulmate over one that ignored her and caused her pain her whole life.”

Author’s Note: I have spent so much time on this one chapter and I am so proud of the result. That being said, I’m so terribly sorry.

Masterlist

Keep reading

I'm sorry (not really) to all my favourite characters who have been put through the ringer either in their actual media or just because of my deranged little mind, your sacrifice is greatly appreciated.

Do you ever just have a character where you are like, you, you are a baby, and I will read all them fics where they are the youngest.

For me, this is Clint Barton.

I have read the fics where he is Tony's brother, where he is Bruce's son, Steve's relative, Bucky's son, Nat and Bucky's son, Furry's son, where he is secretly like 12 (exaggeration). I eat that shit up. And the Avenger kid fics where they are Clint centric, and he's the youngest like dude ahhhhhhhh.

If u have any recommendations, please do send.

Directed by Robert B. Weide :D

Reference

Steve: Tony, stop it! Thor: /asked Loki to help with Halloween costumes/ Clint: You are an idiot!

I just watched “Avengers” with polish dubbing.

I cried so much.

It hurt, it’s really hurt :C

"NIE BĄDŹ JELEŃ, NIE FIKAJ"

"JESTEM LOKI, SYN ASGARDU"

This doesn’t spoil but announces the mood for endgame

Please, please if you’re having major anxiety disorder, or you have hypersensibility, watch out ; you may want to not even watch the film at all. I’m not saying this to freak you out or to disgust you, I’m saying this because I care and my experience with watching the film on theater had been SHIT. I had 2 different kind of panic attack and I’m NOT joking. Please, please watch out.

I'd bet any money that Tony put one of these in Clint's room in Stark Tower

I would give anything for this omg it’s so cool just omg omg yes. 

okay, okay, okay. let me say something about this new marvel show:

Kate Bishop is a two-time state champion of fencing, got her black belt at fifteen years old (been doing it since she was five), and has been doing archery since she was around eleven (???), and yet she still can’t fight. She has no real world training when it comes to an actual fight. It’s so refreshing because even Peter Parker knew how to fight and he’s just some kid from queens. (Like who taught him??) Seeing Kate Bishop not know how to fight, and she’ll learn from Clint, is really fun. I can’t wait for more.

my fav thing is when uncanon polycyles randomly have one canon drawing where theyre all CLEARLY shagging

I never understood why everybody loved Allison but then said the Clint Barton was useless. Excuse you they do literally the same thing so I don’t understand

in honor of the stucky revival i updated my fic after four years check it out

Tom Hiddleston as Loki & Jeremy Renner as Clint Barton

The Avengers

Pizza party (aka Avengers as dinosaurs)

The dino list (from left to right):

Thor - Allosaurus

Ironman - Baryonix

Hulk - Plateosaurus

Hawkeye - Pyroraptor

Spiderman - Dromiceiomimus

Black widow - Zhenyuanlong

Capitan America - Euoplocefalus

Please Marvel make this happen

Give Us Sylokius

if multiverse is canon in mcu....

in some universe sam is too slow to catch bucky

in some universe natasha is happy (and alive) with her sister. they have a picnic and they sing songs

in some universe clint doesn't recover after pietro's death. he blames himself like he was the one who killed the boy. clint wanted to be pietro's mentor and he fucked up

in some universe pepper leave tony alone with his mind for too long...

in some universe happy doesn't lost all his friends.

in some universe rhodey ended worse

in some universe thor could save loki

in some universe foggy finds matt's body

all of this can be true and it breaks my heart

*The squad over at Steve’s house*

Thor: Ohhh, we each get our own oven?

Steve: …N-No…

Steve, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Thor, motioning to the kitchen: Three, I thought!

Bruce: I see a—

Steve, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Thor: Oh, well I—

Steve: Hey wait, wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Steve, amazed: It’s got a bake setting!

Clint: Ohoho, you learn something new everyday!

Tony: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Steve: Now I’ve just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don’t need to roshambo nothin!

Steve: I am someone who owns four ovens…

Steve, louder and way too happy: I am someone… who owns FOUR OVENS…

Steve: I didn’t know I was so rich with ovens…

Natasha, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Steve:

Thor: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Steve:

Steve, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

IF ANYONE MAKES SOME EPIC THE MUSICAL X AVENGERS ASSEMBLE I HAVE ONE REQUEST!

Hawkeye as Hermes ☺️

Like I can picture AA Hawkeye in the vents just singing "wouldn't you like" and/or "dangerous"!