Tell My Why I Was Taking Some Bsd Kin Quizzes And On The First One I Got Nikolai And The Second I Got

Alright I know I've already done a few but another Dazai hc

WARNING: This post talks about depression. I am in no way an expert or professional, and everything is based off of my own experience and research. If you relate to this, please seek professional help.

Ok so the headcanon in short is that Dazais depression caused him to 'lose' his sense of taste.

Quick explanation before moving on BUT a more accurate way to say it is that I don't think he can really perceive taste. It's kind of complicated and hard to explain but it's basically like when you eat something, you can't really tell someone what the food tastes like despite knowing that it does have a taste. It's something, but you don't know what, and no matter how familiar you are with food, you can't identify it. Sometimes you can, but only when it's super strong, and when the depression is unaddressed, it can worsen into not even getting strong flavors over time. It's important to note that you can remember what things tasted like. So, you could eat an apple before you lost your taste perception, then eat it again afterwards and remember that the apple tasted or is supposed to taste sweet. You can't tell that that apple specifically is sweet, but you can tell that the apple is supposed to be sweet in the form a phantom sensation or even just a though of 'Oh this is supposed to be sweet' way.

Going back to Dazai specifically, I think that, despite him getting better in the ADA, this perception worsened over time. Mainly because dude never actually deals with his depression. I can't really say when I think it would have started, but I'm leaning towards not long after or before he joined the PM. Mainly because he could still taste Odas spicy curry and alcohol. With that in mind, he can probably lie easily when asked to try or eat something, because he can remember what certain foods tasted like, and he's smart enough to give a general guess if he never tasted that dish but can tell some of the ingredients. Also because of this, I imagine that he likes canned crab because it has a nice texture to him. He can't taste, so whether or not he likes a food is more based on how it feels in his mouth. The canned crab is probably cheap and has a proper texture, making it still at least a little enjoyable for him to eat since he still can have some sensation in his mouth. At the same time, he likes whiskey or just alcohol in general because he can remember what it tastes like from back in the pm where they were strong enough for him to taste. Also I imagine that makes Dazai kind of picky on his food? Like if it has a weird or no texture, he won't like it. Same thing if it has a funny or bad scent.

I just said stars as a replacement for 'god' or 'lord' unironically

I think someone needs to force me to back away from In Stars and Time a bit

JACKPOT SAD / grayscale below cut

guys what if for a roleplay instead of normal roleplay it was done like a chatsim like mystic messenger? Like instead of being in an actual place together the characters just text each other and thats how the story goes, with only a few irl stuff to show anything extra? I feel like that'd be fun too do.

Just had a thought about abilities in BSD.

Under a read more because I accidentally made a wall of text talking about this-

Oops ._.;

What if your control over your ability depends on how much you accept it as a part of you? The idea that every single ability has a consciousness, one that, no matter what, is made to protect or assist its user in some way. If you don't accept and come to terms with having a second 'you' inside you, then your ability will not work with you, simply because you are not willing to work with it when all it's trying to do is help you.

Because of this, it won't always do what you want it too at first, it won't always work, and it'll do what it thinks is best, not caring about what the user will think about it. You have to understand it was there to help you, learn that your ability is a part of you, even the parts that hurt others, the parts that hurt you, because in the end, all its doing is to fulfill the most human wish.

Survive. Live.

It's not always liking your ability, it's knowing that the ability is trying to protect you, to let you live and survive in grow no matter the cost. The pain it's caused will always be there, sometimes it will come back as a memory, and that pain comes flooding back. It's trying, and so are you. Yes, it will hurt sometimes, sometimes you'll wish you never had it, that you died instead of obtaining it, because that would prevent the pain it's caused. It's not learning to love your ability, it's learning that it embodies the part of you that wanted to survive. It's not entirely you, but a part of you. The more you know that, the easier it is to deal with and use to your advantage.

Something amazing about In Stars and Time is how it makes you feel what Siffrin feels.

And yes, when you go through Act 5 and everything breaks down that's cool.

But when Siffrin feels loved and safe, I think that's what's special. That's what makes this game and these characters so special to me.

As someone who, too, had a similar feeling of feeling unlovable for a very long time. This game really healed that part of me.

When the timeloops start, and Siffrin clings to being useful, you still feel little bits of love. Small, barely there, a little distanced, because Siffrin feels distanced. But it's still there. The party looks out for you, pays attention to you, makes stupid jokes with you.

As you go through, you feel love through Loop. Loop who despite all the teasing and bullying helps. Helps the person who they so wish they could be. The one who holds their own heart, who has the family they lost. Loop reaches out to you, reminds you, you're here, I see you. It hurts, but I see you. And I will always see you and sit with you. And I will keep you from becoming as detached as I did, whether that be by annoying you or having a heart to heart or just yapping in general.

You feel love from the head housemaiden. That cruel kind as she weeps for your situation, and crys tears you can not. As she apologizes over and over again. Euphrasies loves by showing you the painful kind of mercy, the one that stabs you in your heart and makes you want to scream, because she loves through pity. Through pitying you and your suffering. No matter how much it hurts it is love nonetheless.

And finally, in the end, after everything you've done, after everything you went through. You feel love again. This time in your face, so burning and bright that you can not ignore it, you feel loved from the very people you loved from the start. The party who runs in to save you, despite everything you said. Who tells you it's ok, you were going insane, we may be a little mad at what you said, but in the end that doesn't matter. Because we love you. And man, when they really showed the unconditional love, I was going to cry. Because a love like that, especially one with the party, is so hard to find. And it's so precious.

Finally, you see love, one more time. Twohats. The Loop fight. Loop, who is trying to kill you, Loop who is so jealous because that is the love they so wanted. They want their family back. Loop who despite everything. They still can't kill Siffrin. Siffrin, who despite being forced to fight again, who could drop dead at any moment because of his craft exhaustion, refuses to oblige Loops request. They both refuse to kill. Because they still love each other. Siffrin who pulls Loop into a hug, and apologizes. Apologizes to who they once were, the Siffrin who should've gotten this. The one who had their family and their heart stolen from them. The Siffrin who never got to feel love. He thanks who they are now, Loop. For sticking with them despite everything. Who watched Siffrin, guided them, gave them a shoulder to cry on, bantered with them so Siffrin did not lose himself. Who despite everything, still decided to help. Siffrin isn't mad at Loop, because Siffrin knows, he would do the same. Siffrin gives Loop back all the love they gave. He let's Loop move on, knowing they're loved. That they always have been. Loop accepts that their family is gone, that they loved them all the same. They learn that even with them gone, they were still loved. Loop is allowed to be happy as they leave.

And isn't that just what this game is about? That no matter what, everyone deserves to be loved. To know it too, and to be happy. And that's what healed me a bit. Because if even the King, who spent his days weeping for a kingdom long gone, who lost all his family and could not build a new one, who froze everything in time, was still able to know and remember the love he had in the end, then why can't I? Why can't anyone? If even the ones who hated and cried and destroyed everything, the ones who hid it all until they couldn't, who didn't understand their emotions and felt trapped within a construct, who didn't feel like them no matter how much they changed, then can't we, too, love and be loved?

This game shows that love does not have to be romantic, does not have to be displayed in any way, is not something earned, but is a basic right for all of us. And for that, I thank it.

Hey, Wake Up by fwlo fits Siffrin and the rest of the party so well dude

(I keep imagining specifically Odile and Siffrin but like... it fits all of them I'm just insane about those two in particular)

ALSO GO LISTEN TO IT AND THEIR OTHER SONGS FWLO IS AMAZING

https://youtu.be/io6AWAhPzaM?si=p67QM0Y5b0XTsTaG

the ada doesnt feel like found family to yall becuz u can only associate family with labels

brothers and sisters and dads and moms and so on and so forth

when found family exists outside of that???

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

hey yall guess what