I Am Handing You This 30 Second Song I Wrote And Sang

my boywife

Wait hold on

They attack... with powder blush brushes?

Alright I know I've already done a few but another Dazai hc

WARNING: This post talks about depression. I am in no way an expert or professional, and everything is based off of my own experience and research. If you relate to this, please seek professional help.

Ok so the headcanon in short is that Dazais depression caused him to 'lose' his sense of taste.

Quick explanation before moving on BUT a more accurate way to say it is that I don't think he can really perceive taste. It's kind of complicated and hard to explain but it's basically like when you eat something, you can't really tell someone what the food tastes like despite knowing that it does have a taste. It's something, but you don't know what, and no matter how familiar you are with food, you can't identify it. Sometimes you can, but only when it's super strong, and when the depression is unaddressed, it can worsen into not even getting strong flavors over time. It's important to note that you can remember what things tasted like. So, you could eat an apple before you lost your taste perception, then eat it again afterwards and remember that the apple tasted or is supposed to taste sweet. You can't tell that that apple specifically is sweet, but you can tell that the apple is supposed to be sweet in the form a phantom sensation or even just a though of 'Oh this is supposed to be sweet' way.

Going back to Dazai specifically, I think that, despite him getting better in the ADA, this perception worsened over time. Mainly because dude never actually deals with his depression. I can't really say when I think it would have started, but I'm leaning towards not long after or before he joined the PM. Mainly because he could still taste Odas spicy curry and alcohol. With that in mind, he can probably lie easily when asked to try or eat something, because he can remember what certain foods tasted like, and he's smart enough to give a general guess if he never tasted that dish but can tell some of the ingredients. Also because of this, I imagine that he likes canned crab because it has a nice texture to him. He can't taste, so whether or not he likes a food is more based on how it feels in his mouth. The canned crab is probably cheap and has a proper texture, making it still at least a little enjoyable for him to eat since he still can have some sensation in his mouth. At the same time, he likes whiskey or just alcohol in general because he can remember what it tastes like from back in the pm where they were strong enough for him to taste. Also I imagine that makes Dazai kind of picky on his food? Like if it has a weird or no texture, he won't like it. Same thing if it has a funny or bad scent.

How to show emotions

Part IV

How to show bitterness

tightness around their eyes

pinched mouth

sour expression on their face

crossed arms

snorting angrily

turning their eyes upward

shaking their head

How to show hysteria

fast breathing

chest heaving

trembling of their hands

weak knees, giving in

tears flowing down their face uncontrollably

laughing while crying

not being able to stand still

How to show awe

tension leaving their body

shoulders dropping

standing still

opening mouth

slack jaw

not being able to speak correctly

slowed down breathing

wide eyes open

softening their gaze

staring unabashingly

How to show shame

vacant stare

looking down

turning their head away

cannot look at another person

putting their head into their hands

shaking their head

How to show being flustered

blushing

looking down

nervous smile

sharp intake of breath

quickening of breath

blinking rapidly

breaking eye contact

trying to busy their hands

playing with their hair

fidgeting with their fingers

opening mouth without speaking

Part I + Part II + Part III + Part V

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why did this show up when I was writing that tag

what happens in in stars and time?????

i keep meeting transfems whose personalities are like, gaping wounds. girls who've been stomped on over and over until they start thinking they're uniquely evil and they deserve it. people shouldn't be allowed to treat us like this.

okay y’all i have a ✨thought✨

what if, whenever atsushi regenerates, he’s physically fine but for some reason, his body still feels the pain of the wound he received??

like immediately after it happens, he’s fine if not a bit more tired than usual.

and then he wakes up the morning after and the afflicted limb (it’s the leg. you KNOW i mean the leg i mean come on, it’s practically a bright red target atp) is just screaming in pain.

and eventually the pain starts to ease up and he’s able to function again but he’s still left with flair ups sometimes and just general chronic pain.

again: especially the leg i mean SERIOUSLY THAT POOR LIMB-

but yeah basically chronic pain atsushi. (totally not in the process of writing a one shot for this with a sprinkling of sskk)

anyway, thoughts? feelings? helpful commentary?

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

Please this came to me so randomly but I now have the headcanon that Dazai likes to draw. Not like full on pieces or artworks but he likes to doodle randomly. In the margins of his paperwork you'll see small sketches or doodles of things like the sign for bar lupin, the pen on his desk, just small little things he remembers or is looking at. Also he has a small sketchbook that is really just a re-purposed notebook (Kunikida probably gave the notebook to him to solve his 'fish like memory issues'(he was just ignoring heads up for meetings, deadlines, etc.)) where Dazai will just sketch things that look more similar to full on pieces that he uses as a way to vent cause God is he emotionally constipated.

Edit: I just realized Chuuya would DEFINITELY tease dazai about his doodles. If he found of Dazai has a secret portrait drawing of him... well, Dazai is never gonna hear the end of it

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