ご無沙汰

[And the curtain opens...!]

[Image Description: a black and white banner gif showing Siffrin from In Stars And Time as he wanders through the third floor of the House. He is posed in the center of the image, faced to his left (viewer's right) as if moving in that direction. Behind him are four trailing repetitions of his image, each one losing opacity as they get further away, with a final fifth one having its values inverted, appearing instead as Mal Du Pays. Floating around them are six polaroid photographs, the first covering up the right half of Siffrin's face, showing instead a values inversion of it within its borders, their expression blank. Beyond that in order from closest to Siffrin to farthest away, the polaroids show Mirabelle, Isabeau, Odile, Bonnie, and one that is indistinguishable, all members of the party with their faces distorted out, while the last one is distorted beyond a potential for recognition. On the other side of Siffrin, to his left, is a flash-like burst evocative of a camera flash or a star (much like Loop's head), partially hidden over by Siffrin's shadow. Around the brick walls in the background and partially growing over the bottom left of the foreground can be seen the King's hair, and in the bottom right is text reading: "Darkroom | an ISAT Fanzine". The entire thing has been animated to look as if the lines around Siffrin, their shadows, and all the distortions over the polaroids are boiling, while light shines off from around the flash/star. End ID.]

[Hello, stardust~! How can I help you on this wonderful new loop?]

Welcome, everyone! This is the blog for the upcoming project, "Darkroom: an ISAT Fanzine". We are excited to finally announce our beginnings, and hope you will stick around to see what it is we have to offer!

Firstly, let us introduce ourselves. The mod team for this fanzine comprises of myself (@actingwithportals), as well as @voidedtea, @publiccmenace, @astrangeavenue, @sundimus, and @plasticteabag. Between the six of us, we have experience as leads, co-leads, moderators, and contributors on four individual fanzine projects, and are all excited to begin work on something new!

Now, let's get to the fun part, shall we?

[Darkroom: Negative Space, Long Exposure, Afterimage.]

The theming for this fanzine centers around the idea of distortions, how they obscure what we see and perceive, and how they can bring to light an entirely new perspective hidden behind the more easily comprehensible. In Stars And Time shows us throughout Siffrin's loops how the order of a carefully curated script can bring about a chaotic mental state, and how the chaotic breaking down of these self-imposed walls can bring about the order of accepting vulnerability.

Change is often destruction, and in the midst of that destruction can be found something beautiful, something to live for. This is the idea we hope to present through this fanzine.

[Fanzine Content.]

The Darkroom Fanzine will be a multi-media culmination of fanworks created by fans, for fans, and available for free download on Itch.io. Creations can vary anywhere from art, to writing, to music, to essays, to crafts, to whatever you can think of that you would like to see included in this project!

The only restrictions we will be enforcing is content that lies outside of the existing rating for the game, meaning no 18+ subject material.

However new you are to your Craft—whether it be writing, art, edits, collages, or anything beyond—your skills are welcomed here. From beginners to professionals, all are encouraged to apply! Once we hit an internally agreed upper limit of participants, we will lock the sign-up form should that limit be reached before the end date of the sign-ups occurs.

[Interest Checks.]

To kick this off, we are opening an interest check form to gauge interest for this project. The form will remain open from January 23rd through February 22nd, upon which the following day (February 23rd) the sign-up form will go live.

[Curtain Call.]

Thank you all for taking the time to read this far, and if you have any further questions/inquiries/concerns about this project, our askbox is open! Relatedly, you can also shoot us an email at darkroom.fanzine@gmail.com.

INTEREST CHECK FORM HERE.

[See you under the Favor Tree soon, stardust~ ✨]

Friendly reminder to all who consume fan made media: if you reblog gifs, gif makers will keep making them. If you reblog fanart, artists will keep drawing. If you leave comments on fanfics, writers will keep writing. As many have pointed out, we’re not Instagram and likes mean nothing :)

umm i need reassurance that my presence is wanted but i can’t ask for reassurance because that’s really Embarrassing and it wouldn’t feel genuine if i asked for it

A Wish Breathed Into You

AU where Siffrin is the Savior after The King froze Vauguarde.

[Siffrin & Odile] [Alternate Universe, Second Person POV, Siffrin POV]

Follow up fic: Trust The Rogue To Lead You

You remember Vaugarde. Your earliest memory was wandering the shores, alone and confused, the kind hands of strangers reaching out to you and the odd twist of their words calming your upset mind. It was a kind place. A welcoming place. You had loved it and left it, because you were afraid that if you planted your feet too hard, you would wake up once more without any memories, history, a name…

You never wanted to lose another home, so you had refused to make one. You moved on to Poteria. And Andira. And any other place that you could think of, too afraid to stop and risk losing everything.

But while you ran from Vaugarde, afraid to lose it, someone else has moved in. They had planted their roots, refusing to move or to let anything else move around them. They had chosen to preserve their memories in the only way they knew how, making themselves into a gravemarker and taking Vaugarde with them to the grave.

You'd been halfway around the world at the time. There was nothing that you could have done. Nothing that anyone could have done, you assume, because no one did it. No one stopped it. Vaugurde was frozen in time and unlike your home, long lost to the ashes of whatever had burned it from yours and everyone else's mind, it was made into an everlasting memorial.

You had been afraid to forget Vaugarde, to lose it, but you never wanted to keep it like this.

No one had been able to do anything, but… you could. You knew that you could.

You hadn't been able to explain it to your companion at the time. She had asked you a ton of questions when you insisted that you needed to go there, but you hadn't been able to tell her more than, "I have to help. I'm the only one that can."

She looked at you with a deep well of skepticism. You thought that it would be the end of your time together. That she would call you crazy and leave to find more stable company. You were never the best company, you didn't think. Your memories slipped away from you like sand, you got antsy staying in one place too long, and you were terrible at explaining yourself.

She surprised you though, closing her book with a deep sigh, and offering you a wry smile. "I suppose I always did intend to visit the country, though this wasn't how I thought I would ever do it."

You felt warm inside at her agreement. It was nice, having someone at your side that didn't leave you at the first sign of your… well, everything. You didn't know how to properly express your gratitude though, so all you did was smile up at her and say, "Thanks Odile."

"It wouldn't feel right to let you go on such a dangerous journey all alone," she added. "We're traveling companions, aren't we?"

"Yeah," you agreed softly. It meant twice as much to you as it did to her, you were pretty sure, but the sentiment was one that you wanted to hold onto with all of your might. You never wanted to forget Odile. The way that you never forgot Vaugarde, even though you'd always feared that you would. "We are."

It had taken more than a month to travel to Vaugarde from where you were. There had been numerous warnings from everyone that you met along the way. From those that had fled, those that lived along the borders, those that had been curious enough to go take a look at the frozen country, and they all had advice to give you.

The country had become… cold. As if all the warmth was frozen like everything else. A negative space, almost like a vacuum, you thought. You… weren't sure why you thought that.

You didn't think about it.

You took in everyone's advice. Odile took notes and talked with you about the best way to prepare for what you'd find there.

You shared with her your memories of Vaugarde, as best as you could. There were holes in it like everything else you touched, but Odile was attentive and patient, more greedy for this part of you than any other. It was almost embarrassing how much attention she gave you when you opened up about this, and she teased you when your face darkened and you tried to hide in the collar of your cloak. It was… nice though. Comfortable. Friendly.

You didn't tell Odile this, couldn't think of how to say it without sounding greedy, needy, and presumptuous, but you thought of her as a friend. Maybe as more than a friend? She was literally the most important person that you had, but you felt like saying that was… too much. So you didn't. You tucked it away somewhere inside you and cherished the time that the two of you spent together like nothing else you ever had.

When you finally arrived in Vaugarde, you felt like you were walking through glass. The town was like a dollhouse, everyone frozen in the middle of talking, eating, running. It was haunting. You felt like you were walking through a picture book, through a memory you weren't supposed to see.

"Gems alive," Odile swore softly, horrified in much the same way you were.

They said there were things called Sadness here. Manifestations of regret and sorrow. Walking through the town, you could understand how such a thing could be true. So many people whose lives were interrupted, stolen… How else could they feel, other than hopeless? What was left for them other than despair?

"It's okay," you say softly. There's a well of confidence in your words that you can't explain. You know that you can fix this. It won't be quick. You'll need to destroy the Sadness overrunning the area if this is going to work, you know that too, without being able to explain how you know it. But you can do it. You know you can. "We'll fix it."

Odile's expression is a mix of devastation and hope. You know she didn't really believe you before, but seeing the reality of things made her want to. She truly hopes that you know what you're doing, but even if you don't, she's prepared to stand beside you through that failure. You're really grateful to her for that.

"I… hope that you're right, Siffrin," is all that she says.

Fighting takes more time than you thought it might. There were only the two of you, after all. You were fast and Odile had access to all craft types, but two people versus multiple Sadnesses was never going to be easy. You spend a few hours clearing out an area and then retreat over the border to sleep. The weeks since Vaugarde had frozen had proven that the curse was no longer moving, so you both felt safe there. There was no indication that the curse moved anymore at all, since you both knew that others had visited the ruins of Vaugarde. Better to be safe than sorry, though.

It took two full days, with both of you making sure to take long rest in between bouts of fighting. Once you were done, you went to the Favor Tree that the town was built around. Favor Trees were specific to Varguarde, but you knew that they were the best place to do this. They were a place that gathered the hopes and happiness of people. A place where people laid their hearts bare. If there was any place where you thought the universe would be listening, anyplace where you thought they'd hear you if you screamed your loudest and hardest, it was here.

The leaves of the tree were frozen, but you had already prepared another way to make this happen. You sat at the base of the tree, aware of Odile standing behind you and watching curiously over your shoulder. You took out a piece of paper and folded a paper crane. You whispered your wish three times into paper as you folded, then you wrapped a string around it and hung it from the tree.

The crane would hold your wish, the string would bind it together, bind it to the ground. One wouldn't be enough though, you knew that. You folded three. And then six. And then nine.

When you got to nine, you knew that you had done enough. They were spaced apart, hanging from the Favor Tree, but you knew that you had done this right. Your wish was safe, nestled deep with the heart of the cranes, grounded to the tree, to the earth. All that was left…

"We have to wait until nightfall," you say. The universe didn't only grant wishes at night, but this was important, you needed to do this right. You needed to make sure you told the Universe your wish as clearly as possible, and you needed to know how the universe would answer.

Odile looked up to the sky. "That's easy enough, it shouldn't be long now."

You smiled at her, making yourself comfortable at the base of the tree, and waited. Odile came to sit beside you, resting on one of the large roots rather than the ground. She didn't ask questions, though you could tell that she wanted to. You were glad that she had decided to wait.

Once the stars were visible in the sky, you stood up. You went around touching each crane, thinking your wishes loudly as you could as you climbed the branches of the tree. You looked to the sky, finding the brightest star, and you whisper your wish one last time.

For a long time, nothing happens. The world is still.

Then suddenly, it isn't. You look up in time to see a ball of heat and light falling toward you. You raise your hands above your head to catch it.

You don't know why, but you know what to do.

The Universe leads…

…you decide to follow.

You open your mouth wide…

It burns all the way down. It coats your mouth with sugar, feels sticky and thick, like syrup. You want to scream, it hurts so badly, but you can't. You can't! All you can do is swallow over and over again as you try and force the hard, hot lump down your throat.

With every swallow you feel the heat infusing you with more and more heat. You feel like the Universe is breathing a wish into you, instead of the other way around.

You blink and you find yourself on the ground.

"Siffrin!"

You… fell. From the tree. But you don't even feel your own body.

Your eyes are drawn to the cranes as they start to light up, until they're as bright as the stars in the sky.

You open your mouth with the intention to say that they're beautiful…

You scream instead.

You scream and scream until your throat is raw and ragged, until you're so breathless that you can't breathe.

You can't breathe!

You don't breathe.

You pass out.

You wake up with a gasp!

Your body is cradled in Odile's arms, which is odd because she's only rarely touched you before this point. It's nice though, so you don't fight it. You don't feel hurt, like you remember being. You don't feel hot or raw at all. Around you, the area around the Favor Tree seems to have come to life.

It worked…

It worked! Your wish worked!

"Thank the Expressions, you're alright!" Odile exclaims. She pulls you further into her arms and you… breathe. You breathe. You relax like your body has been wound tight the entire time and you feel everything pour out of you. "Don't scare me like that, Siffrin."

"Sorry," you say softly. One hand is on the arm she has wrapped around you, as if you can keep her there, though you'd never try if she pulled away from you. Luckily she doesn't. "It's working though!"

Odile seemed startled, as if she hadn't noticed the change happening around you. Maybe her eyes had been so focused on you that she hadn't looked away. Now, they're wide as she watches the way life slowly seeps into the land around you both. The curse is receding. Not far. You knew, somehow, that this process would be slow. One town at a time.

It could kill you if you tried to do more than that, and you weren't sure it would work that way besides. You weren't sure how you knew, but you did. You knew.

Just like you knew that the nagging feeling leading you this whole time had been from the Universe. Making a wish just like you always did.

Maybe it hadn't been that only you could do, just that the Universe needed someone to do it and you were the only one that had answered its call. It made you smile, that you could do something for the Universe, for Vaugarde. Your first home had been lost, but maybe…

Maybe you could build another one after all. Maybe you could breathe life into Vaugarde the way that it had breathed life into you.

"I think you owe me an explanation," Odile said, her expression steely even as she still seemed to be looking over you.

You laugh, happy and exhausted and a host of other emotions that you weren't fully sure how to explain or even name. "Yeah, I guess I do."

This contexualizes so much of his character. The pedo thing honestly never made much sense to me but man this really helped me understand. Mori as a character was someone I just couldn't connect the general Fandom view and the actual character with. Yeah, I saw where it was coming from, but that idea just never made sense to me as I looked at his actions and tried to pick out his motivations. Really goes to show how careful Mori is about what people know and their perception of him, and how he's insanely good at it considering the view of both a majority of the character and the majority of the Fandom.

The Misunderstanding of Mori(BSD)

I have realized Mori is a misunderstood character in BSD due to his abilities name, Vita Sexualis.  I recently finished reading the book, and the title is misleading.  I assumed it was an erotic book; I could not have been more wrong.  It’s a story about Kanai(MC), who is writing about his sexual experiences intended for his son to be provided as a means of sexual education.  It is not inappropriate whatsoever, and the act of sex is never described in detail.  

Throughout the story, you come to understand Kanai and how he has a lack of sexual desire.  The story starts when he is a child, and adults tease him for his innocence.  It was disgusting seeing adults toy with his innocence, especially since the story starts when he is six.  

Later in the story, when Kanai is close to graduating from university, his parents think it would be best for him to marry.  A meeting is set up for Kanai to meet a girl whom he finds nice.  But he debates the difference between this girl and all other nice girls.  He also questions if most men settle for a nice girl due to their sexual desire.  Since Kanai has a low sex drive, he believes this is the reason he can’t settle.  I believe he is bringing up the difference between love and sexual desire. Also, how sexual desire can act like love.  

Here is a quote about Kanai's thoughts on marriage,

 "I suspected that some probably decided under the stimulus of sexual desire. Because I was deficient in this area, I guessed that even if I felt the young lady was quite nice, the deficiency was probably why I didn't want to marry her."

There is an incredible tetralogy called The Sea of Fertility by Yukio Mishima, which discusses the downsides of sexual desire. In the first book, Spring Snow, Kiyoaki(MC) becomes infatuated with Satoko. He lets his desires control him and wishes Satoko to marry him, but she is engaged. Instead of putting her happiness first, Kiyoaki lets sexual possession take control of him, leading to his demise.

In the third book, Temple of Dawn, Imanishi created his own story, "The Land of the Pomegranate." It's about how sexual love leads to possession.  As soon as the people in this world reach peak desire, they are discarded.  This stops sexual possession from taking over.

I bring up these books to further show the difference between love and sexual desire. And how controlling this feeling can be with it acting like love.  

I believe the author(Ogai Mori) is trying to tell the readers you are most capable of love when young because you have no experience. Sexual desire can be extremely passionate to the point where it controls you. In the story, Kanai reflects how once a month, his roommate Koga would let his sexual desires loose. While he personally found no importance in those activities. I find it vital to state even though he doesn't care for sex, it doesn't mean he wants to be alone. In the story, he says,

"Yet even though I had a longing for love and affection, I didn't feel, as one normally would have expected, any real sexual drive."

Now to connect this back to BSD, I believe Elise is a child to represent innocence. Maybe Mori himself is like Kanai and does not care for sexual relations. And what is the opposite of that? A child who knows nothing of sex and does not care for it. They do not have sexual desires, and it has nothing to do with their type of love. Elise might simply be someone for Mori to love and receive the same type of love back. Or she represents his innocence and the type of love he craves.

I believe she could also represent his hidden innocence because when you are older you wouldn't want to be called innocent or pure. It's embarrassing to be labeled a virgin or not understand a sexual joke. But not everyone cares for these things, and some yearn for a different type of love, one that is not sexual.

Hopefully, people will stop labeling this character as a pedo and look for the meaning behind his ability instead.

we got another good news roundup!

the fight is still on! don’t give up!

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Nakahara Chuuya/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Dehumanization, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Nakajima Atsushi Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nightmares, Childhood Trauma, Whumptober 2024 Summary:

The world was dark. So, so endlessly dark. Even on the days Atsushi was able to step outside, to feel the sun hitting his skin and to hear the laughter of the other children, it was all so dark and cold. The warmth of the sun felt distant, and the laughter grated against his ears, a symphony of sounds he could not make, a joy he could not know.

Atsushi relives his past during a nightmare, comfort is given, a lifelong question is answered.

Finally finished another whumptober prompt! This is my first time writing for ChuuAtsu so I hope yall like it!

PSA for fanfic writers

TIME FOR START AGAIN

Edit: hold the fuck up I'm missing something aren't I

if you’re offline or away and i message you something (like a link to a meme or a picture or w/e) honestly just assume that i’m just leaving it there for when you get back and not expecting you to answer straight away. i don’t need you to respond with “hey, sorry, i wasn’t at the computer!” or anything. i was leaving u a gift for later.