“I Only Asked For Forever Once”

I break inside every time you make me choose

I don't want to hurt you

I never wanted to hurt you

It was never my intention to build some wall

But I always find myself having to choose between you and him

If I follow you, I'm a good daughter

But I'd be wearing a mask everywhere we go

If I follow my heart, I'm a rebel

I get a disrespectful and ungrateful label

I would continue walking, feeling like I am stabbing you as I go

I never wanted to choose

I just want my decisions respected

I just want to honor the words and plans I've commited

Is it wrong to not bend for you?

Is it wrong for me to follow my decisions?

I am so tired of trying to please you

I can't seem to do enough

Everything I do is a disappointment

That's all I see every time you look at me

From the way you talk to the way you move

You are disappointed that I'm the daughter you have

I'm sorry

If I could just die now so you don't have to worry

If I could just die now so you get to have the daughter you want

I am willing to

Just so you can be happy

“come closer, but don’t flinch”

> come closer, but don’t flinch when you see the places I’ve bled quietly. I am not soft in the way you expect — I am soft like wildfire, like midnight rain that forgets to be gentle. I love like this: with cracked palms, shaking breath, and a heart too heavy to float but too stubborn to drown. if you want me, know this: I won’t promise easy, but I will promise real. raw fingertips. unhidden scars. midnight confessions no one else has ever touched. come closer. and if you stay— I’ll hand you everything I’ve ever buried under my ribs.

mood

I had so much love for you

But u never accepted it

It's still on the shelf of my living room

In a diary of our could haves and what ifs

“I write slowly… with depth…”

Whispers Between Pages By Astrum

I have always trusted the quiet of untold stories, the soft ache that lingers between what is written and what is merely felt.

I do not chase endings — I unfold them, slowly, like paper worn thin by longing and hands that know the weight of memory.

Somewhere between ink and skin, I found my truest voice — not to speak louder, but to listen deeper to the words that choose to find me first.

so when words fail me, and there's no wind in my lungs

please know that you are it all

my salvation, my saviour, my grace

I wish I could run to you and cry.

You don't have to say anything. You don't have to tell me it's going to be alright. Just be there. Just sit with me and let me cry. Just your presence is enough. I am just so tired. I am tired and hurt and I want everything to end.

But I know I can't. I know I can't and that hurts more.