To The 26 People Who Thought I Was Interesting Enough To Drop A Follow: You Are Only Bored And, Therefore,

Ah, I thought this might be the intended use of the pillow case. I was thinking maybe there was another way to make pillow cases dangerous. I mean if there were stairs...

I dare you to motivate me to study.

The child lives if you study

Sometines I have the urge to tell people that I have found a really old bible, a pentagram and various wax sealed bottles filled with nails and random shit behind a wall during a diy project. The reason? So I can watch chaos decend as people with adequately funtioning common sense and reasoning skills scream at me to put it all back. Why else?

As it is a few hours until the 31st, please remember these rules while going out!

1: Wear something that is both comfortable and practical. Not too hot but don't let yourself get too chilly. Take a jacket or change of clothes if you need.

2: If you are going to be trick or treating with kids, make sure they stay safe and that you keep an eye on them. Also, don't make them do anything that might be too scary.

3: If you are going to a party, please make sure you keep a close watch on any food or drinks you have.

4: This is a rule for overall but please drink water. With all the fun going you may forget but at least try to remember for your own sake.

5: Check anything you get. The world can be a bit dark at times and when you get free stuff from strangers it's best to check what you are getting.

6: Please don't break the law. This feels like a given but still.

7: Know when to go home, it's only a couple hours but you still need to know when it's time to head back home and rest.

And finally I hope you all enjoy your time!

Happy Halloween!

Tumblr is awesome because you can trial run invisibility like superpowers are real

Thank you for including us

Happy pride month to all of yall but especially to asexuals, aromantics, straight trans people, and everyone who's in the closet

"You'll be late for your own funeral" but as a business. Like you pay 15-30$ to add your name, number, birthday and home address (to ensure proper identity verification) to a data base given to all funeral homes and crematoriums so that they hold onto you for an extra 15-30 minutes. The amount you pay will determine how long the fabricated delay lasts.

So I follow the Greek Goddess of Luck, Tyche, (tye key)and I have some pretty okay luck. I have some stories of bad luck, like when I got zooted for the first time, and good luck, like the time I went trespassing with friends. I wanna tell you both but let's start with the less funny one.

A couple years back, I went out with a friend and her boyfriend to check this abandoned rich person house. We snuck in in broad daylight and explored a bit. We were clearly not the first people to do this as everything glass was broken, all the walls were graffiti and many had holes. Some places were not safe to go to and we found a singular room that was marginally in tact. We left after exploring the musty ass basement and as we were getting to the car that we parked strategically elsewhere, we realize we may not have been as stealthy as we thought. Three police cars turn onto the street and down to the court we were just in. We decide to just get in the car and leave and this is where I learn that driver (friend's boyfriend) is directionally challenged. He turns right instead of left (the direction we came from) and goes down a dead end street and I say nothing. He then asks one of us to pull up our gps because he's lost. I tell him he should have turned left when leaving the street and he asks me why I didn't tell him earlier and I tell him that I assumed that he knew where he was going because he'd been here before on multiple occassions.

I take a some pleasure in being able to shout into the void and receive not responce. My thoughts for me and me alone with no one to respond and give me massive anxiety about the bullshit that I posted. Thank you, Tumblr for granting me the power of invisibility and complete anonymity

Tucker: We're married.

Danny: What?

Tucker: If anyone asks you and I are married. We've been married for two years. Not platonic roommates. Understand?

Danny: I'm always down for marriage fraud, but can I ask why?

Tucker: *Sigh* We had a big company meeting today with every level employee at the event center the Wayne rent out. Tammy from accounts was assigned to my table-

Danny: Your mortal enemy.

Tucker: Exactly. So she started giving me grief in the middle of our team exercise project. The other four random employees are looking at me all wide eye and I'm getting tired so I say "Is it because I'm gay Tammy?" To shut her up. But at that time, Timothy Drake Wayne was walking behind me and heard me say it. He jumped in to ask what was going on, and I hate Tammy for being so annoying, but I am not about to accuse her of discrimination for no reason. So I said "Oh it was just a joke. Like on the internet." And then when Mr.Drake-Wayne face didn't relax, I blurted out."My husband thinks my jokes are dumb too"

Danny: Tucker....that's not good

Tucker: I know! I started panicking!

Danny: You ramble when you panic.

Tucker: I do, and I did. Before I realized it, I told Mr. Drake-Wayne, this whole made up childhood friends to lover romance between you and I. It was so good he told me to invite you to the office. So we're married. Please go along with it. If I can get Mr. Drake-Wayne's support I can rise in the company so fast.

Danny: Promotions are 50% networking. Alright, sure, what's the worst that can happen?

Five months later

Steph: What's the big emergency?

Tim sobbing:. I'm in love with the husband of one of my employees.

Steph: Tim....that's not good

Brought this drenched little TV back to life, it's Retro game time babey!!