Guy Just Walked In With A Shirt That Said “I Don’t Question My Wife’s Choices Because I’m One

I'm like if a sensitive sweetheart was a bit bitter and loathesome

honestly the only reason im not an old man is that i happen to have been born somewhat recently. other than that 

and then god was like let’s not give this bitch a break

me, shoving my repressed feelings back into the void: wew! that was wild, huh

feeling emotionally vulnerable so ill be walking around with a sword for the rest of the day

UPDATE: The girls are NOT fighting. But they're also not having sex. In fact I'm not sure what they're doing but it seems to involve a blowtorch.

my bravest knighttt... come hither ..... mmmwah !! ok you are dismissed

I am not immune to little items. if there's a thingy I need it. 1million knick knacks.

no matter how insecure or shitty you feel, just remember that my muscles are massive and i can punch through walls

I annoy you so much it makes you wanna have sex with me