You’ve Just Aided An Old Woman Knitting By The Side Of The Road, And She Reveals Herself As A Goddess

Everyone is born with a tattoo somewhere on the body which tells of your superpower. Most of the time it’s obvious, like a flame for fire control. You were born with no visible mark and were enrolled into the Vague Society, a help club for people with really unclear marks. Tell your (and their) stories from the help club.

I wish I was this river

The Rhine River, Germany, Europe by Stefan Sonnenberg

concept playlists;

you’re lying on mossy forest floors, slowly transforming into a nymph, your fingers are turning into flower vines, your limbs are bleeding honey & growing thick skins of sepia bark, wings sprout in between your shoulder blades. your breath sounds like the wind. fireflies litter the air above you

you’re hold up in an abandoned church, outside there’s a raging storm & a horde of zombies roaming around, pressing up against the entrance doors. you & a small band of survivors are staying inside for the night in hopes to ride the bad weather out. you take first watch & listen to these tunes on an old ipod while everyone else tries to get some rest & the undead crawl outside, awaiting the taste of human flesh.

you’re in your boyfriend’s pickup. he’s asleep in the passenger seat, you’re driving without a destination in mind & you have the window down as you let the cool night air whip against your face in a state of pleasant delirium you’re on a rooftop somewhere, there’s 5 am air on your skin, streetlights glint like coins at the bottom of wishing wells from where you sit. you’re feeling peaceful for the first time all week

you’re lying in the middle of a crop circle forty miles from your grandma’s old house waiting for aliens to come and abduct you

it’s four pm in the afternoon and you’ve got your head in the lap of the only boy you’ve ever loved & you’re reading jane eyre & he’s sipping on tea & it’s the kind of weather where it’s just warm enough for you to pretend it’s summer & it’s drizzling & you’re listening to the rain beat softly against the windowpanes you’re curled up in bed as it pours outside, there’s a citywide blackout and the last candle you had left has finally blown out, but you feel strangely at peace within the warm, all-consuming dark

you’re making out in the bathroom of a house party with someone that makes you feel like you’ve swallowed the sun you’re standing amidst a city you burned to the ground. the apocalypse has come & gone. all that’s left is ashes & mortar & sad bones but you’re feeling empowered. a slow smile creeps up your lips as you realize how you’ve always wanted to watch the world burn you wander into wonderland and now you’re suddenly being crowned fairie queen, apparently there’s a prophecy waiting to be fulfilled  it’s mid morning but it’s dark outside from the rain. you thought the tapping on the window was from the rain but it’s actually a crow that flickers out of sight when you look directly at it you’re sipping on cherry cola by the pool on a lazy sunday & you’re feeling younger than you’ve ever been you’re summoning old ghosts in an abandoned parking lot on a smoggy thursday night

Some leftover sketches

we should legalize polyamorous marriage  for all the other reasons we should but also because I wanna see what polygamous divorce looks like

Whenever anybody gets on how they think cats are horrible because they don’t shower you with easy-to-read physical affection I’m left wondering how much respect or understanding they can possibly have for fellow human beings who don’t all fit their exacting social standards.

First Photo of an Exoplanet:

Above is the first photograph of a planet outside of our solar system - MCY 70117a, or “Planet Tennis Ball”

MCY 70117a is a Saturn-sized gas giant orbiting the binary brown dwarf Luhman 16, which is only 6.5 light years from our sun. It was photographed on July 1st, 2017 by amateur astronomer Marshall C. Yarnblob of rural Cornwall, England. 

“I built my telescope from some spare computer parts and a common bathroom mirror,” said Yarnblob, “It’s slightly better than Hubble due to the curvature of the mirror, which I discovered only after I had built the ‘scope. I built it to spy on my neighbor, who I’m pretty sure is some kind of Satanist, but when I pointed it to the stars, I realized its resolution was, by pure chance, flawless.”

Yarnblob offered his telescope to NASA and the ESA but was declined by both, who didn’t believe his claims. One thing is for certain- They believe him now. They also afforded him the right to name the planet, which he promptly called “Planet Tennis Ball” owing to the yellow hue and white curvy line around its equator, which experts believe is an atmospheric band of methane.

The Yarnblob Telescope is currently being moved - very carefully - to Dungeness beach where light pollution will not affect it. Said NASA head Lauren Logllamadachshund, “We hope to view the system’s other planets within the week, and to observe the exoplanets of Proxima Centauri in even greater clarity.”

Yarnblob has declined all offers of money for the telescope, stating that science is its own reward. He asked only for a conventional telescope in exchange so that he might further spy on his neighbor. “He’s up to something, I know it. The police won’t listen but I saw him building an altar, and I saw him wearing black robes. The man sacrifices babies, you mark my words,” said Yarnblob.

When asked for comment, his neighbor Aleister LaVey stated that he was not a Satanist, and that he only ever sacrificed one baby once when he was in college as part of a frat dare.

FIJMU News, 7/16/17

the year is 1888

me, the first palaeontologist to dig up a triceratops skull, whispering softly: what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuckkkk

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck google with a 10 feet pole.

Seriously, fuck them. They are breaking the internet BADLY.

Everyone needs to get out of Chrome ASAP. Use duck duck go or any other alternative too.

404 Media

YouTube Says New 5-Second Video Load Delay Is Supposed to Punish Ad Blockers, Not Firefox Users

Firefox users are reporting an 'artificial' load time on YouTube videos. YouTube says it's part of a plan to make people who use adblockers

Reunited | Some therapeutic sketches Part 2